Honey

Bruce overhears him and says "ight bet" and makes up a marriage license for both of them. Clark and Diana catch him in the act and give him a deadpan look, and his reason is "Hal needs a cover for your Earthside life when he's off-planet and Ferris can only make so many excuses. Being my spouse would make him responsible for a lot of my business and foundation works. He also has a terrible credit score and is one missed payment to his apartment away from being homeless every other Spectrum crisis and— Diana, why are you laughing, this is serious. Clark don't join her? This is League business!"

Hal sees it and humors him because it feels like a joke. It's not like Bruce cares about him or anything. And yeah it's kinda funny when you think about it but it all makes sense. Hal needs a cover for his long disappearances from the planet. Also, Spooky literally has too many rooms on his own and his butler is probably having it too easy also the kids are fun to be around. Now I can pay back my bar tab with Ollie, and buy Helen that dollhouse she wanted. Barry, don't look at me like that, it makes sense-!

So some staged marriage photos and a license later, Hal "lives with Bruce" occasionally when he's off-planet, and Bruce has excuses to leave his galas because "my husband is calling me"

But then Hal DOES start going to the manor for the sake of it, and he swears it's because the kitchen is nice and the kids like playing videogames with him, and totally not because Bruce gives the nicest back rubs and is a good lab partner when doing engine repairs and has a funny laugh and is really warm to sleep on after such a long time spent in space

When Barry points out that Hal now has nicer clothes and has a healthier diet, Hal shamelessly says "perks of being a billionaire's pet" and Barry is just ".......buddy boy do we hear ourselves rn 🧍"

And Bruce does start leaving galas because his husband is calling him..... except Hal didn't tell him shit. He just gets texted by Alfred that Hal is home from a mission and he dips from social events to "hang out" with him (ergo tucking Hal into bed and then promptly getting pinned down because he's just a warm flesh pillow to a very space lagged Hal)

Dinah and Oliver see this happen in a gala once and give Bruce the most unimpressed look when he swears up and down that Hal needs me he just got back in orbit and I need to nurse him as a concerned colleague

Basically, Hal and Bruce are legally married for what is essentially the superhero translation for Tax Purposes™

No one is amused. Well, Diana is. She can see through their shit. She thinks their emotional constipation is the funniest thing since the moon blowing up.

Barry looks like he's having the mid-speed force crisis of a lifetime. Dinah starts a bet pool on when they fall in love while Oliver is giving her a lecture about allyship.

Truthfully, Regulus had taken the part-time job at the bookshop just to get out a bit more. Living with Sirius, taking classes at the local university, resenting his parents for being utter shitheads…his life was reasonably full. But during his downtime, when he sat in the sitting room only to look over and see his brother sucking face with his new boyfriend…it got a bit old. So even though he had money, even though he was planning on getting his own place after graduation, even though he probably should be more social…he decided this was the best option.

And it was lovely. Reorganizing books, chatting quietly with regulars, reading books during slow moments to his heart’s content…he loved the job.

He also adored when Harry and his dad came in.

The first time, Regulus had been so, completely caught off-guard. Harry, four years old and, in Regulus’s opinion, the most adorable child in the word, had run directly to the children’s section with an excited squeal, followed by the most attractive man Regulus had ever seen. It’d taken him about ten minutes to get up the nerve to talk with him but fuck, once he had…he discovered that he was ridiculously outgoing, charming, handsome, athletic…all of the things Regulus usually hated.

So, of course, he was obsessed with him immediately.

But, alas, he had a job to do, so he sold them their purchases and sent them on their way, lamenting the fact that this world had such hot people.

Until the man and his son showed up again.

And again.

James, Regulus found out he was named, showed up every day he was working, his bright smile, ridiculous personality, and ability to banter making him weak-kneed and his child squeezing his heart in his little fist.

It was his favorite routine.

“Potter,” he greeted his favorite customers one sunny morning as the pair entered the shop, Harry heading back to the kids’ section as always. “How long has it been since you’ve bothered me, an hour?”

“Too long,” James replied with a grin, standing at his normal place across the counter from Regulus, his body tilted so he could see Harry in the back of the store. “I was beginning to forget what sarcasm sounded like.”

“Oh, come now, just because you can’t recognize it when others use it doesn’t mean it’s not there,” Regulus said with a smirk, rolling his eyes.

The taller man chuckled. “How’s your day going, then?”

“Worse, now you’re here,” he replied, rolling his eyes and allowing his lips to tilt upward a bit so James knew he was joking. “But I guess seeing Harry makes up for it.”

“He always was my better half,” James agreed, beaming. 

“Yes, next time just let him come in alone,” Regulus chuckled, watching as Harry brought a book towards them both, “cut out the middleman.”

“Really would be wise,” James nodded, eyes sparkling.

It wasn’t always like this, of course. They sometimes talked of serious things–family, books, James’s life raising Harry after his divorce. But the easy back-and-forth always left Regulus a bit giddy.

“What’ve you got there, Harry? Picked out something good?” Regulus asked as Harry handed him a book–this one with pictures of wizards on the front. He turned to James, “You’re lucky you have such a reader, you know. It’s nice he likes to come by so much, that he actually likes books. So many kids come in here and just complain the whole time.”

“Yes, I–”

But Harry chose this exact moment to butt in, “I don’t like books!” he said loudly, his face twisted.

Both adults looked at him, blinking. 

“But Harry…you get a book every few days,” Regulus said kindly, tilting his head to the side. “You love reading!”

Harry just shook his head, nose wrinkled. “Hermione loves reading. These are for her. We come here to see you.”

Now Regulus was gaping, turning to James with wide eyes.

The man was flushed scarlet. “I…erm…” he stammered, looking down.

“Da says you’re pretty! And I think you’re nice! And we always get ice cream after, it’s fun!” Harry supplied helpfully, still oblivious to the way he was ratting his father out.

But Regulus was thoroughly enjoying this information. “Ice cream, huh?” he asked, looking to James.

“Yeah,” the taller man mumbled, shrugging a little. “Harry likes it.”

“And Da likes you!” Harry beamed.

Regulus decided to stop being cruel. “I like ice cream, too,” he said softly, hunching a little to catch James’s eyes. “Maybe you could take me for some, sometime?”

The man lit up like the sun. “Y–yeah?”

“Yes. I get off at three,” he said, laughing.

James grinned. “I’ll be there.”

“Me, too!”

Nothing much, I usually do not comment about my fic on Tumblr but then again, I kinda like this part so I'll blabber about it

A while ago I did write a headcanon about how Bruce never drinks and Hal can drink but hates getting drunk, to dive deeper into that headcanon (i guess???)

Bruce knows he is always, and I mean always, not as strong as a man, mentally, as people think he is. He has gotten addicted to substances before, and if he could, he would prevent that sh from the start. Alcohol is one of those terrible thing that is a slippery slope leading him down to worse things. Living in the capital of crime and being constantly exposed to cocaine and insanity certainly doesn't help.

Hal, on the hand, he hates getting drunk because he used to be alcoholic before. And he smoked, too. I think he can handle his drink, but being drunk is now only associated with bad memories to him. He once almost crashed his car with his friends inside, you know, of course he hates getting drunk. So he still drinks, it's still hard to resist, but at least he knows his limits and he where to stop. But sometimes he will slip, and sometimes he would fall back into his old habits, and he would, desperate, need someone to be grip him and drag him up by the collar, with force

So I liked this scene a lot, yk, Hal telling a sober Bruce to not let him get drunk again, (don't let me sink further down, Bruce - something like that)

It's a show-dont-tell (i hope) way of showing how Hal trusts Bruce and regards him a lot more capable and reliable than he is. And that despite their bickering, Hal would still think Bruce is a good man, and a better man than he is, in fact.

Pairing that with how Hal let Bruce take care of him, (he rarely ever lets anyone do that) and we have Hal whose love for Bruce is built around complete trust (which I know he has been lacking) and not attraction

Bruce is his anchor, (while Hal is the force that keeps dragging Bruce forward)

That is why I sometimes say, they are more similar than people realize, and they are two sides of the same coin, and they know each other's character, and they trust each other's true heart, even after everything

(this looks not well written but I swear it's supposed to be that way they are not facing each other so they can only hear, not see 😭)