I'm on a Double Date

I don't think the way Shane responds to Ilya saying "I could marry Svetlana" is because he's jealous of Svetlana. Obviously Shane is jealous of Svetlana and doesn't like the idea of Ilya marrying Svetlana anyway, but I think chalking his response up to him being jealous of her is diminishing the gravity of their situation and assuming the worst of Shane. Ilya is talking about entering a green card marriage to gain citizenship so that he doesn't have to fear ever being deported to Russia. That's a horrifying position for anyone to be in, and the choice to marry to protect himself is an act of survival no one should have to make. I don't think Shane is oblivious to this. The first thing Shane says in response to Ilya saying that is "But...is she, I don't know, someone you'd want to marry?" Then the next thing he says is, "Ok, but...but you like women, right? You could find someone you'd want to marry for real and still get the passport." From both these statements, it's clear that Shane not only knows that Ilya doesn't actually want to be with Svetlana, but that that's also not Shane's primary concern. His primary concern is Ilya marrying someone he doesn't love. Shane doesn't want Ilya to do that, and he doesn't understand why Ilya would. I think he is pained by the idea of Ilya marrying someone he doesn't love, and I think he is frustrated that he isn't even an option, only other women are. I think in that moment he is jealous that Svetlana can marry Ilya, that she can provide him what he needs without fear of consequence, and that comes before any jealousy he feels towards Svetlana herself.

No YOUR Shane wants kids. MY Shane is on team #AbortThatThang any time any person any womb 4 lyfe babey. My Shane be so “I don’t want kids” he be forgetting some people get pregnant on purpose. He’s like the opposite of that post that’s like “Somebody told me they got divorced and I accidentally said congratulations.” Shane is “Somebody told me they got pregnant and I accidentally said I’m so sorry” 😭😭😭

And this is just me projecting sooo hard it’s embarrassing but for me like one of my most treasured Shane headcanons is that he was a very lonely child who couldn’t connect with others and who didn’t have friends. And then there was hockey. (I even like to headcanon that this is the real reason Yuna and David first got him into hockey. It wasn’t because hockey mattered to them, it was because they believed it would give Shane a chance at belonging somewhere. Maybe if their wasian son, already an outlier, who on top of that had all these quirks teachers got impatient with and kids made fun of, joined the most popular and widely-respected sport in the country, maybe he wouldn’t stand out so much anymore. Maybe if he had an excuse to be around other boys his age that didn’t allow for them to leave him out, he’d make some friends.) And then through hockey, he could make sense of his teammates the same way he could make sense of the game. And through being around them all the time, he could learn to imitate their behavior. He could begin to pick up on more and more social cues. He could begin writing social scripts. And then, better yet, he was so fucking good. And yes, he was constantly subjected to slurs. Yes, he was never given as much credit as he deserved. Yes, he had to work three times as hard to get the same standing as white players. Yes, to all of that. But also, some people admired him. Some people wanted to learn from him. Some people first gravitated to his talent, and after spending time with him trying to learn from him or use his skill to boost theirs - they also ended up gravitating to him. He had friends. Not many, and who knows how real, how conditional, how fully reciprocated those friendships were, but he had them for the first time in his life. And he had fun with his friends playing hockey, and being part of something, being integral to something, and yeah, being the best at something and having something to offer, something to always earn his keep, to always make being on a team with him worthwhile, and this is deep down why Shane loves hockey and why, as an adult, it’s not the same, and why the Metros turning on him is the most gut-wrenching tragedy, and why Shane first begins falling for Ilya. It’s not just that Ilya is an equal competitor. It’s also that Ilya never doubted Shane was an equal competitor and even more importantly than that, Ilya makes hockey FUN again.

i like shane crying over sex in all contexts i like when he cries because it feels so good and he’s never been this full in his life i like when he cries because it hurts a little and ilya is in his ear reassuring him that he can take it i like when he cries because of the impossibility of it all like he never thought he would have this and he didn’t even know what he was missing until he got it but he also cries because he’s not getting it enough and he cries when ilya is consoling him over the phone about it bc that’s all they have and ilya is like you need it so bad i know baby and sometimes he cries because he’s so greedy and he feels bad about it and ilya is like oh yes it’s such a burden for shane hollander to be gagging for my cock all the time i do not know how i survive and then he makes shane actually gag for it and shane cries about that too

I think ilya would get off on shane enduring for him rather than enjoying something (and probably enjoying bc he's enduring...) and that's my truth

i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanov’s permission…? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. “what if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like “hollander……..you saved my life 🥺” and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldn’t fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each other’s arms afterwards. because there’s only one bed in my apartment and he’s too tall for the couch” stuff like that. normal fantasies