Fandom scum

Batman, speeding the batmobile, teeth gritting: Joker. This has always been between me and you. Let. Redhood. Go.

Joker, laughing maniacally: I suppose I could. But you see. Ever since I found out my favourite boy wonder has risen from his tomb, I've been wondering, you see.

Joker: Oh, I have been wondering that if I gave you a second chance, would you be able to save him this time?

Redhood, Coughing and spitting blood: why you radioactive bastard–

*Sudden rumbling on the outside*

Joker, wide eyed and grinning: No way! Is daddy dearest here for you already?!

*more rumbling*

Red Hood, slightly smiling: You wish it was him. That's my mom.

*wall breaks*

Red Hood: And unlike my old man, she has no hesitation snapping necks every once in awhile.

Wonder Woman, absolutely red with rage: you- YOU METROKOITES!

Joker: ... uh - oh.

*Proceeds to get thrown across the room by Wonder Woman*

Batman, just arriving: I see your mother got here before.

Red Hood, grinning ear to ear watching Wonder woman pulverize the Joker: Thank heavens for that. I haven't seen anything better in my entire goddamn life.

*loud crack*

Joker: AAHHHHHHHHHHHRGHH

Batman, stopping dead in undoing Hood's ropes: Lord. She just broke his spine.

Bruce, barging into Kents' living room: I need you to co–

Bruce:.......

Jason, already sitting at the table: Yo.

Bruce: You're here.

Jason: Or it could my ghost. Who knows, still figuring out the whole coming back from dead thing.

Ma Kent, confused asf: Sweetie, why are you upset? Has Clark done something?

Bruce: I.. wanted him to come with me to talk to Jason.

Jason: To let me know the whole "couldn't kill joker because he's an ambassador" bull–

Ma: Language!

Jason: –hoax? Yeah, he told me that as soon as he found out I was back yesterday.

Bruce: I. See.

Bruce, to Clark: Oracle didn't tell me about you entering Gotham yesterday.

Clark: I didn't. Jason came over at the farm yesterday.

Ma: My Poor baby. He was on the verge of crying when I opened the door. Asked if he could stay here. His fight with you affected him so much, you know.

Jason, embarrassed: Grans, That's not at all how it happened.

Ma: Nonsense! You told us you wished he'd listen to how you felt for once.

Ma, To Bruce: he said that he wished you understood him more. And he's right, you know.

Clark, Nodding: He's going through a tough time, you know. He needs you to support him.

*Outside the Window*

Dick: I'm sure I have seen this scene before.

Tim: Everyone has. Its from Disney.

Dick: Well. Hannah Montana was both Jason and Uncle Clark's favourite show.

Tim: You're kidding. Uncle Clark?

Rebel 1: How long do you think before she finally puts her tongue in his mouth?

Rebel 2: She? You're joking. If anything, its him who will be going to her on his knees and begging her highness for mercy for the things that're happening to him because of her.

Rebel 3: That's a whole lotta Banthashit. He'll carve open and disjoint his knees before he gets down on them for her.

Rebel 2: You willing to put your credits where your mouth is?

Rebel 3: You know what? You're on. 100 credits say its the Princess who'll pull him into a supply closet.

Rebel 1: and 120 credits say it won't be more than a month until we hear the supply closet rattling.

*3 years and multi thousand credit betting pool, which had almost all the rebels, later:*

*Leia and Han are official*

Rebel 1: Son of a –

Rebel 3: no way, how in the Galaxy's name were you guys so bang on?

Rebel 2: I call insider trading, these slick bastards defintely knew beforehand.

Rebel 1: I told you guys to not let them in.

Chewie and R2 collecting their winnings: *mixed but very smug mechanical trash bin and space grizzly noises*

Genma: Just ask her man, the worst she can say is no.

Obito, prepping himself: You're right. I can do it. I can do it!

*couple minutes later*

Obito, walking back to the guys: Hey, I did it! I asked Rin if she was free this evening!

Kakashi: Annddd?

Obito: And she is! :D

Genma and Kakashi:

Genma: And did you ask her to go out with you?

Obito: .........

Obito, head in hands: ahhhhhh!

Genma: No fucking way. You forgot to ask her the actual thing you went for?!

Kakashi: I told you he's hopeless.

.............

Anko: I wish finding someone nice to date was as easy as finding giant cobras in the Forest of death.

Obito, clearly done with her: have you considered that the reason you never find anyone is because you spend your free time looking for giant Cobras in the Forest of death?

Anko: ....... Hebikage Philomena Catherina would be sad to hear you say that about her.

Obito, actually losing his shit atp: WHY WOULD YOU NAME A GIANT COBRA THAT?!?!

................

Genma: Man. Professionals these days have no ethic whatsoever.

Rin: Is something wrong?

Genma, somewhat red: Yesterday I went to Inoichi for a psyche evaluation and he did his stuff, looking into my mind and all that.

Rin, sympathetically: Oh, Did he make any personal comments on what he found inside?

Genma, sinking on the table: No, even worse. He called lady Tsunade and told her to keep Shizune safe from me.

Tenzo, barely holding in the laughter: His exact words were "That boy is the devil when thinking of your girl. If Jiraiya saw what's in his mind, he'd have his next bestseller right there!"

...........

Anko, putting on lipstick: Heya!

Asuma, walking into the room and stopping dead in the tracks: uh, hey. What'cha doing?

Anko: That bastard Genma just said that its very un-ladylike to not own a single lipstick, and it kinda got to me. So I'm raiding Kurenai's vanity to try and see what shade looks good on me.

Asuma: I see, and, what are you doing?

Kakashi, getting stradled under her and face completely covered in different colours of lipstick: Helping her chose a shade.

Diana, pointing at one: Why does that one look just like me?

Bruce: What? There is no way–

Alien that definitely looks exactly like Diana: ;)

Bruce: ...........

Clark: ..........

Hal: Oh ho ho. BUSTED!

Diana, anticipatingly looking at Bruce: well?

Bruce: .......Must be Clark's —

Clark, really enjoying the show: Oh, then I suppose the one that looks exactly like my wife is yours?

Bruce: .............

Barry: Wait, why is that one just a B2 bomber–

Hal, already flying at it: LET ME HAVE IT!

Ino, visibly grumpy and nose deep in papers: Oh you know, the usual. Overworked and underfucked.

Sai: I see.

Sai, smiling: You know, if you want, I can help you with one of those things.

Ino: wha-

Sai: :)

Ino:

Sai: :)

*Later that day*

Sakura: You meant you could help her with the work.

Sai, who just had the best day of his life: Yes, I meant I could help her with the work.

BONUS

Naruto, still scratching his head: You know, I still don't understand how you guys ended up like that when you just wanted to help her with her work.

Sakura: ......