Fandom scum

Note: This is a full blown rant as an SS/NH shipper so skip if you don't wanna read. No hate to the part of SNS shippers who keep to themselves and their ship and don't go around outside their spaces getting in other fan's noses on how its "cAnOn". Y'all are chill <3

I thought I was over this but God forbid this fandom leaves an SS/NH shipper be. So here I am, pissed at the same crowd for the same reasons.

So yeah, like the title says. Problematic s*sunaru shippers are forefathers of all problematic shippers, and the founders of that Goddamn modus operandi.

You'd think a fanon ship fans would be more interested in headcanoning and creating a relationship between the characters, create AUs and fiction/art set in off screen scenes: you know, actually go ahead and create a relationship that canon did not give them (especially in case of NaruSasu since Kishimoto canonically made them reincarnated brothers)

But noooooooo. God Forbid these people go the easy route and let the fandom be a peaceful space. They are never content with shipping and making headcanons, no, they have convinced themselves that what they want to happen is actually canon.

The worst part is that they want everyone to accept the same.

This is why they feel way too smug in invading other peoples spaces and leaving comments or ruining stuff.

And boyyyy. This is not your average obsessed shippers. These people are out there making Pinterest twitter levels of problematic.

A Sasusaku art with Naruto somewhere in the background? You'll find someone has replied with a picture of same but drawn a line between Naruto and Sasuke and smuggly written "fixed it :D"

I kid you not, I once saw someone having replied to an artist by smudging yellow on Sakura's hair and changing "she" in Sasu's speech bubble (refering to sakura) to "he" and captioning it "all better"

And on instagram too. "Sasuke only loves Naruto" unabashedly on a Sasusaku post.

"Naruto is only with Hinata because she looks like Sasuke". On a Naruhina post (she absolutely doesn't)

A comment about how Naruto would lose it if Hinata ever died and the reply is straight up "nO bUt hE wOuLd Do It FoR hiS bOyFriEnd" in an NH post

Trasnlation of first comment in 3rd image: "but Sasuke's gf is Naruto"

They feel so comfortable in doing shit like this because they think their shit is canon and they have "proofs" of the same that they parrot everytime someone doesn't agree with them when they make these claims in a post outside their tags.

The truth, however, is that there are no proofs if their ships. They'll just purposefully misread canon and repeat the same 3-4 points to "prove" their ship. They act like they don't understand general context clues which are applicable not just to Naruto manga but to pop culture in general.

Some of my favourite examples are:

1. "Naruto and Sasuke kissed" and its clearly supposed to be a gag for laughs. Both are disgusted ffs. Try explaining that to them and you get hit with "diD ThE mAnGa ExPLiCiTLy SaY sO?"

2. "Naruto said that he isn't Ashura and Sasuke isn't Indra" and the meaning is clearly supposed to be 'we won't make the same mistakes as we are not the people we were in that life anymore' but you'll chose to read it as 'he is saying they aren't brothers'.

To say all this when the whole reason Hagromo told Naruto the story of Indra and Ashura and how they were reincarnations of his sons was to explain why Naruto felt he and Sasuke were trapped in the complicated, deeply loving relationship since past two lives: BECAUSE they were brothers in soul.

Like, if you think Naruto and Sasuke were actually "iN lOvE" in canon, do you think Hagoromo drawing parallels and explaining that they have same relationship as his sons was him suggesting incest between his sons?

3. "He called him his one and only" friend. He called him his one and only friend. Its right there in the text. The NEXT fucking word.

4. "Naruto did not know what brotherly bond felt like. He was confused about his feelings" Sasuke had a brother and he still agreed their relationship was brotherly.

Then, there's also making shit up. Not just misinterpreting canon, straight up PULLING stuff outta thin air.

"Kishi actually wanted narusasu but producers were actually homophobic" is a fine example of this. This one spread like a wildfire and was parroted by shippers across platforms.

There was also not an iota of truth to it. On the contrary, the mangaka actually stated in interviews that he modelled the bond after himself and his twin brother.

Then, there's labelling actual canon as "fanon" because it doesn't fit whatever they actually conjured up (and whole heartedly believed to be canon.)

For them in The Last Naruto is OOC, and in Retsuden its Sasuke. (And they do it in the tags of these material with all that audacity, ofcourse).

Sure, I believe in fans rejecting fandom stuff they don't like (proud Star Wars Seqeuls denier here) but the reason for denying the supplementary material here is because it destroys one important foundation behind them calling SNS canon: it prevents them for interpreting interactions between Naruto and Sasuke in the main manga as them showing each other affection.

What I mean by that is these ppl claim that Naruto and Sasuke did not have many explicitly romantic moments with their future partners. Although there were several moments where they showed care through trying to protect them and looking after Sakura and Hinata, those were few and far inbetween and gave these shippers enough deniability to claim that Nrt and Ssk "cannot express their feelings to each other explicitly" because they are "confused" and the platonic care is actually a covert way of expressing their "LoVe" for each other.

But once additional content is made to flesh on the romantic aspect (again, since kishi cannot write romance) , they act like those materials are OOC, and mock it in the SS/NH shippers tags because "NaRuTo aNd SaSuKe wOuLd NeVeR aCt LiKe ThAt".

Like, what are you even basing that claim on? When in the entire Naruto manga was their love language shown for you to actually know how they would act romantically?

Or does the actual romance seem OOC now because a caring platonic bond was headcanoned to be romantic?

Miss m'am you know exactly whats happening here and playing dumb won't change that.

Notice how I used m'am in the line above? That's because the deranged kinda shippers that do this are almost always women. Women with yaoi fetish, to be specific.

The reason I am calling it a fetish? Because these people do this shit almost compulsively, to the point that the basic ettiquete of letting people enjoy what they want goes right out of the window. Not to mention being so desperate theu start fabricating the canon.

Other than that, the compulsion often shows up in a way that makes it clear they are obsessed with giving the two the same tropes as a toxic yaoi couple, as seen from them making comments like how "sasuke gets jealous seeing naruto talk to other men" (its just Shikamaru or some other friend) "sasuke is actually waiting for naruto" (he's standing with sakura, naruto isn't even in the picture) "naruto was waiting for his boyfriend" (Naruto is with his wife) "the upside down spiderman kiss pose😍" (its a TWELVE year old sasuke looking at naruto after trying his level best to punch a hole in Naruto's heart, and the commenter is a grown ass woman)

Then, there's mistagging shit on purpose to get in other ships tags:

Why was this in the Sasusaku tag again? The reel itself is Sasuke coming out to Sakura AFTER marriage and being absolutely inconsiderate (and actually annoyed) at her for crying.

And mind you, the rest are comments I read under actual clips from the anime or under fan content which was not at all about narusasu. They'll see either of the two characters and immediately go ahead acting like there's an off screen moment happening between their ship and do not wait for a moment before turning the wholesome content by non sns creators into a yaoi where sasuke is toxic and they are cheating on their wives. (Or just straight up make content where Sasuke is toxic and cheating on his wife and deliberately send it in the wrong tags, as seen above)

Now idk about you, but from what I know, toxic, abusive yaoi is not generally obssessed over for its literary insights.

So yeah, fetish.

And the thing is , I'm not even saying SS fans or NH fans are blameless, they cause the fights too (especially us SS folks, I know I am responsible for my fair share of them) , but dear lord. The sheer audacity with which these people do it (changing an artist's art, filterating into the SS/NH tags all that much) is outta this local supercluster.

Like, I used to be a MASSIVE NaruSasu hater, and it was mostly because of their fandom.

To be fair, it had a lot to do with the ship itself too. Fair to say, I hate it.

But my problem with the shippers was never just about that. Like yeah, I called them out over romanticising the bond between Nart and Sask a fuckload number of times but there are other proships that I hate way, wayyy more.

ItaSasu

ItaSaku (Sakura is mostly 15 and Itachi 21 in their art)

SasoSaku

MinaKaka

KakaSaku

OroAnko

OroSasu

TsunaShizu

MadaSaku

HashiTsuna

Etc etc.

But I have never really bothered these shippers because they stayed in their corners of the fandom and never intruded and ruined anyone else's experiences, except maybe a tryst or two with ItaSasu.

So safe to say, I wouldn't even bother the SNS shippers and grow to hate it as much if the rabid part of their fandom were not the way they were.

Everyone on that show is depicted to be flawed, toxic or selfish in their own right, just as they are shown to be good people who go the extra mile for the five others. While this dimensional, complex mix of traits is treated as normal or human when coming from Monica, Rachel, Joey, Chandler, or Pheobe, Ross is outright crucified for the same.

Chandler, despite fat shaming Monica, dating Joey's girlfriend and hooking up with his sister gets to be the best husband and epitome of a best friend.

Monica, for all the times she bullied everyone in the group with her controlling nature is still the mother of the group.

Pheobe for all her selfishness is the fun girl.

Rachel, after telling Ross's girlfriend to shave her head is the fashionable one.

And lets not get started on Joey.

People hate on Ross for his flaws and then turn around and call his good traits something that is just "bare minimum".

Like what, leaving his chance at appearing on Discovery Channel to help a friend in need?

Teaching his grownass friend how to ride a bike after buying her the said bike?

Walking his cheating ex-wife down the aisle for her wedding to the said affair partner?

None of that is bare minimum. Anyone actually doing that deserves the praise.

And that's what friends is about. 6 people with their own problems in personality who come through for each other and do stuff like mentioned above.

The most frustrating critique seems nothing more than projection at times, taking the entire complex character of Ross Geller, fleshed out over ten seasons, (where we watched him grow from an underconfident dork to a responsible, somewhat family man) and typecasting it in the one dimensional "nice guy" trope.

The character assassination by confining him over his worst behaviours, both in the "Break" or Emily arc, when same treament does not apply to the other five is not because Ross ever did anything worse than the other 5, its simply because Emily and Rachel were important characters and viewers project on and sympathise with them being wronged.

Batman, speeding the batmobile, teeth gritting: Joker. This has always been between me and you. Let. Redhood. Go.

Joker, laughing maniacally: I suppose I could. But you see. Ever since I found out my favourite boy wonder has risen from his tomb, I've been wondering, you see.

Joker: Oh, I have been wondering that if I gave you a second chance, would you be able to save him this time?

Redhood, Coughing and spitting blood: why you radioactive bastard–

*Sudden rumbling on the outside*

Joker, wide eyed and grinning: No way! Is daddy dearest here for you already?!

*more rumbling*

Red Hood, slightly smiling: You wish it was him. That's my mom.

*wall breaks*

Red Hood: And unlike my old man, she has no hesitation snapping necks every once in awhile.

Wonder Woman, absolutely red with rage: you- YOU METROKOITES!

Joker: ... uh - oh.

*Proceeds to get thrown across the room by Wonder Woman*

Batman, just arriving: I see your mother got here before.

Red Hood, grinning ear to ear watching Wonder woman pulverize the Joker: Thank heavens for that. I haven't seen anything better in my entire goddamn life.

*loud crack*

Joker: AAHHHHHHHHHHHRGHH

Batman, stopping dead in undoing Hood's ropes: Lord. She just broke his spine.

Bruce, barging into Kents' living room: I need you to co–

Bruce:.......

Jason, already sitting at the table: Yo.

Bruce: You're here.

Jason: Or it could my ghost. Who knows, still figuring out the whole coming back from dead thing.

Ma Kent, confused asf: Sweetie, why are you upset? Has Clark done something?

Bruce: I.. wanted him to come with me to talk to Jason.

Jason: To let me know the whole "couldn't kill joker because he's an ambassador" bull–

Ma: Language!

Jason: –hoax? Yeah, he told me that as soon as he found out I was back yesterday.

Bruce: I. See.

Bruce, to Clark: Oracle didn't tell me about you entering Gotham yesterday.

Clark: I didn't. Jason came over at the farm yesterday.

Ma: My Poor baby. He was on the verge of crying when I opened the door. Asked if he could stay here. His fight with you affected him so much, you know.

Jason, embarrassed: Grans, That's not at all how it happened.

Ma: Nonsense! You told us you wished he'd listen to how you felt for once.

Ma, To Bruce: he said that he wished you understood him more. And he's right, you know.

Clark, Nodding: He's going through a tough time, you know. He needs you to support him.

*Outside the Window*

Dick: I'm sure I have seen this scene before.

Tim: Everyone has. Its from Disney.

Dick: Well. Hannah Montana was both Jason and Uncle Clark's favourite show.

Tim: You're kidding. Uncle Clark?

Rebel 1: How long do you think before she finally puts her tongue in his mouth?

Rebel 2: She? You're joking. If anything, its him who will be going to her on his knees and begging her highness for mercy for the things that're happening to him because of her.

Rebel 3: That's a whole lotta Banthashit. He'll carve open and disjoint his knees before he gets down on them for her.

Rebel 2: You willing to put your credits where your mouth is?

Rebel 3: You know what? You're on. 100 credits say its the Princess who'll pull him into a supply closet.

Rebel 1: and 120 credits say it won't be more than a month until we hear the supply closet rattling.

*3 years and multi thousand credit betting pool, which had almost all the rebels, later:*

*Leia and Han are official*

Rebel 1: Son of a –

Rebel 3: no way, how in the Galaxy's name were you guys so bang on?

Rebel 2: I call insider trading, these slick bastards defintely knew beforehand.

Rebel 1: I told you guys to not let them in.

Chewie and R2 collecting their winnings: *mixed but very smug mechanical trash bin and space grizzly noises*

Genma: Just ask her man, the worst she can say is no.

Obito, prepping himself: You're right. I can do it. I can do it!

*couple minutes later*

Obito, walking back to the guys: Hey, I did it! I asked Rin if she was free this evening!

Kakashi: Annddd?

Obito: And she is! :D

Genma and Kakashi:

Genma: And did you ask her to go out with you?

Obito: .........

Obito, head in hands: ahhhhhh!

Genma: No fucking way. You forgot to ask her the actual thing you went for?!

Kakashi: I told you he's hopeless.

.............

Anko: I wish finding someone nice to date was as easy as finding giant cobras in the Forest of death.

Obito, clearly done with her: have you considered that the reason you never find anyone is because you spend your free time looking for giant Cobras in the Forest of death?

Anko: ....... Hebikage Philomena Catherina would be sad to hear you say that about her.

Obito, actually losing his shit atp: WHY WOULD YOU NAME A GIANT COBRA THAT?!?!

................

Genma: Man. Professionals these days have no ethic whatsoever.

Rin: Is something wrong?

Genma, somewhat red: Yesterday I went to Inoichi for a psyche evaluation and he did his stuff, looking into my mind and all that.

Rin, sympathetically: Oh, Did he make any personal comments on what he found inside?

Genma, sinking on the table: No, even worse. He called lady Tsunade and told her to keep Shizune safe from me.

Tenzo, barely holding in the laughter: His exact words were "That boy is the devil when thinking of your girl. If Jiraiya saw what's in his mind, he'd have his next bestseller right there!"

...........

Anko, putting on lipstick: Heya!

Asuma, walking into the room and stopping dead in the tracks: uh, hey. What'cha doing?

Anko: That bastard Genma just said that its very un-ladylike to not own a single lipstick, and it kinda got to me. So I'm raiding Kurenai's vanity to try and see what shade looks good on me.

Asuma: I see, and, what are you doing?

Kakashi, getting stradled under her and face completely covered in different colours of lipstick: Helping her chose a shade.

Diana, pointing at one: Why does that one look just like me?

Bruce: What? There is no way–

Alien that definitely looks exactly like Diana: ;)

Bruce: ...........

Clark: ..........

Hal: Oh ho ho. BUSTED!

Diana, anticipatingly looking at Bruce: well?

Bruce: .......Must be Clark's —

Clark, really enjoying the show: Oh, then I suppose the one that looks exactly like my wife is yours?

Bruce: .............

Barry: Wait, why is that one just a B2 bomber–

Hal, already flying at it: LET ME HAVE IT!

Ino, visibly grumpy and nose deep in papers: Oh you know, the usual. Overworked and underfucked.

Sai: I see.

Sai, smiling: You know, if you want, I can help you with one of those things.

Ino: wha-

Sai: :)

Ino:

Sai: :)

*Later that day*

Sakura: You meant you could help her with the work.

Sai, who just had the best day of his life: Yes, I meant I could help her with the work.

BONUS

Naruto, still scratching his head: You know, I still don't understand how you guys ended up like that when you just wanted to help her with her work.

Sakura: ......