i am going to get a bad grade in sleeping, something which is normal not to want but terribly easy to achieve.

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

actually fuck it im just going to start saying “oh, thanks for the movie rec. but… does it have needless violence and sex that adds nothing to the plot and people being assholes to each other? because i won’t watch it otherwise”

humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

Hello my beautiful human body! I’ve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challenges—

noticed my coworker was on tumblr so i told them “i like your shoelaces” and they said “never say that out loud to me”

this is the correct response btw

btw everyone on planet earth is allowed to be their own brand of weird and even inconvenient. except you 🫵