what the hell even is this

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

1) Thank you, seriously. Those are fun and being included shows that my followers care enough to want to learn more about me.

No slash, no ship, non sexual, just to be funny — Grace, conversing w Rocky and the Eridian science team, has to give a group of aliens “the talk” on periods, pregnancy, and birth. And that shit is a fucking nightmare to HUMANS. And we all gotta encounter it in normal society. I need Rocky telling Grace that live birth is perhaps the most fucking horrific things he’s ever fucking heard of. On a planet with as much pressure in the atmosphere as Erid, the likelihood of live birth evolving commonly seems very low. Rare, if not unheard of.

I just think it would be hysterical and I will be the fanfiction author I want to see in the world

“Human cervix must expand to push out human child the size of fucking WHAT?!?!”

Grave explaining that in order to walk upright humans have to basically give birth prematurely to completely helpless infants and rocky is horrified.

I think eridians would probably hatch relatively able to move around and do stuff on their own to a certain extent like reptiles or something so the idea of a human baby that can’t do anything by itself is just 😭… like, YIKES.

Just wait till I tell these mfs about twins and triplets, etc. I’m making it coltland twins au so Ryland can be like, “Oh yeah actually I’m a twin—” “What is twin, question?” “…alright, here we go, but remember, YOU asked!”

Rocky starts having waking nightmares (cus he doesn’t actually dream) of mpreg Grace LMAO:

“Adrian, Grace once mentioned to Rocky that Grace is ‘asexual’ human, according to human science text, term means Grace can reproduce by self. Rocky is terrified one day Grace going to asexually reproduce and then die cus piece of shit human body has to expel baby with big ass skull the size of human’s ’cantaloupe’ fruit, fruit big as FUCK Adrian, no way Grace survive that we need to convince Grace to ‘tie tubes’ human procedure, please help—“