blue-time53

I was worried that the cleaner might have lost her job over this, but apparently the company that employs her stood up for her and said she was just doing her job. 

HEAH

Goodbye Lads im heading to the north pole!

Uh Oh! I forgot the keys to my reindeer! Gotta turn around

I just want someone to go out with tonight and share stories and hopes and dreams and then retire home to stare longingly at one another until our desire overcomes us and we fall into each others arms and you devour my head during mating leaving the brain stem for me to complete insemination while you begin to consume my body to provide nutrients for your eggs.

That’s how praying mantises mate. I haven’t even started on banana slugs. On a plane of their own mucus they extend their genitals from holes in the sides of their heads, organs containing both male and female reproductive structures that grow to the size of their entire bodies and entwine with such complexity that one slug will often have to chew off the penis of its partner to get free.

I mean I don’t mean to kinkshame anglerfish. It’s natural for them to hook up by having the male chomp onto the female’s body and slowly be digested by his own secreted enzymes which fuse him to her skin and circulatory system from which he absorbs nutrients as he becomes little more than genital glands which the female can use to inseminate herself and that’s okay.