Hope come save me now

people who have perfectly straight teeth but never had braces

fuck this image, man. literally fuck everything about this. this person does NOT understand bread. one, those top tier bread images are literally the worst examples of those types of breads. that baguette fucking pains me deep in my SOUL. and real croissants, good ones, rarely look like that if they’re going to be properly flaky and delicious. and that bagel looks like it was made in a factory thirty years ago, preserved with fucking like latex or some shit what the hell

so yesterday I changed my email notification on my phone to mario saying “here we gooOOO!!!!” which is like yknow super fun and exciting but anyway I was at work and I left my phone in my bag because I have no pockets on my outfit. I work a campus job where it’s like half office space but also half open lobby overlooking the university library. I leave my bag to go run an errand. meanwhile, evidently, I just got BOMBARDED with emails. I come back to the office and my boss is going fuckin nuts. he’s asking, “WHERE IS MARIO??? WHERE IS HE?” and then, just when it finally gets quiet…