my chemical romacne

The Strange Case of Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb

I am God and in this next patch update I’m getting rid of periods. instead, vaginas will now make pearls that you can trade in for prizes

[guy whose bedtime is approaching fast] I need to write one billion words right now. and draw everything that has ever existed.

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

not now honey, mommy’s yearning for something that once was and will never be again

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

wait did something happen to Jesus

sidney crosby pisses me tf off, like hi i’m sidney crosby and i’ve been the best player in the nhl for 21 years but i also could have been a gap model and i’m just getting sexier as i age, oh and i’m also the nicest person in the whole wide world with the fattest ass and everyone loves me, fuck you sidney crosby

it is important to cling to wonder btw

At this point there could be a video of Doechii and Chappell Roan hitting a man with their car holding hands Thelma & Louise style and I'd still be like "well let's hear them out"

bela fujoshi’s dead