damn me damn them etc etc

cursed by the narrative. and this weird sword i found

by the fourth or fifth time you "come back wrong" no ones even impressed anymore

chose a hill but i won't die on it. feel free to come and be killed on my hill

forgot to leave a note for my doordasher to bring a blunt weapon to get past the catacomb skeletons so congrats to whichever necromancer is about to get my banh mi i guess

Just escaped from Hell thanks to the incredibly convenient road leading directly out! Apparently it was paved with good intentions? Thanks for those, everybody! They worked out great, just like always!

the most important part of blood loss is to have fun and be yourself

if i got possessed demonically i wouldn’t even notice it. with everything else i’ve got going on

[actively bleeding out] hold on *coughs* there's a Mountain Goats song about this..... give me my phone. let me just play it for you real *cough* quick

[one single bloodcurdling agonized scream] ok time to lock in

in public school i learned how to summon flying ghouls

they wanted him dead for his sad brown eyes and his slut waist

"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

hate taking my stupid cursed blade through TSA, it always sets off the metal detector and some idiot always tries to take it off its scabbard and gets their soul stolen

I’m so sick of living in this stupid haunted mansion