*molts out of my husk*

what the fuck man you cant do that

the guy who lives in my walls is really skinny so he mostly fits but hes got a huge pipe so every time it gets caught on a stud and springs free i hear this boingoingoingoingoing

id like to know more about gagobears but i dont want to put in the work

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

My lab results say that my estrogen levels are a-ok and that the mysterious flames emanating from my soul are normal

i should start developing feminine wiles

like at LEAST one wile. perhaps two

it should be illegal to make me work on world eel day when I could be lurking in an estuary or perhaps writhing

beer before beer that's ✌️two beers