*molts out of my husk*

I don't think I'll ever post this again

cats are small, simple, radially symmetrical creatures with no skeleton or brain. they survive off of whatever detritus happens to find its way to them, typically chunks of plastic and a bowl of wet food.

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

(Rude school bully voice) LOL aren’t you that guy who listens to music?

My mom: So there was a shooter at the correspondents' dinner- Me: Excuse me what. What did you say. My mom, with deepest sorrow: But the president is alive and unharmed- Me: Go back did you say there was a shooter. You're on the dog. My mom: I'm on the dog???? Me: Yeah you're on the dog

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

logging onto woundblr and seeing all the pain on my gashboard

spike! regouge!