Absorbed

DO NOT DO THIS.

This makes me so angry.

If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.

My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.

When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.

If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.

Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.

I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte.

5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it.

Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm.

Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time.

But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less).

Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal.

90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before.

The downside is when you actually need it, people assume it just for the trend.

I don’t think you would want to be the one responsible for a toddler being sent to the ER, because a) you’d probably feel bad and b) the parents might sue.

Luckily I’ve grown out of it. But as a white bitch I don’t want to know what could’ve happened if I hadn’t grown out of them and had a negligent server at at restaurant…

People constantly “accidentally” use normal because they think its just her on a diet. Its gotten to the point where she has to lie about being diabetic just for people to take her seriously.

Drinking normal soda could block her airway and even lead to her being forced on bed rest for days.

And someone might have a different ideology than you? I don’t eat fish for a variety of moral/political reasons and my best friend is vegetarian and let me tell you, finding out you just ate something you’re against eating is the absolute worst. Complete guilt and shame even if the other people around you don’t get it and for some people it can mess them up mentally for a while.

And you know what? Who gives a shit if they are on a diet or if it’s an allergy? You are not responsible for maintaining their health and you’re being an asshole if you do. It’s their life and their choices and whether those choices are dictated by allergy or preference or medical reasons or anything else doesn’t matter. You give them what they’ve asked for, what they’ve paid for because that’s how a job works. You’re not being paid to be a judgemental asshole and make assumptions.

You’re there to give them what they paid for and if they asked for soy you charge them for soy and you give them soy.

It literally takes more time and energy to be an asshole than to just do the right thing- the job you’re being paid to do.

Like- fuck it, how would you like to not be paid for a week because your boss decided you didn’t need money to buy food cause they thought you eat too much? Sounds fucked up right? Same fucking principal.

I was visiting my aunt and she was making me a bowl of cereal

Her own daughter is lactose intolerant, which meant she had an alternative to milk, which I kindly asked her to use

So when I ate the bowl of cereal, and I ate a few bowls, I drank the entire bowl of milk

Fanfiction Club: The Rules

The MC is a girl who we’ll call Sue. Sue is a Good Girl™, Sue is Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad Boy™ for a boyfriend. We’ll call him Dickhead.

Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it’s okay. Except it’s not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he’s fine with except he’s got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words “hey stud” and he follows, dick out before she’s even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she’s a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he’ll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he’s a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it’s about to get weirder.

Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True Love™ who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left you! He’s been “instinctively protecting her from rapists” by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that’s not fucking terrifying at all.

Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she’d let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can’t decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don’t mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure.

If you’ve only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve.

So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: “her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn’t stop”

This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be “god fucking dammit” as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that I inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years.

When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with “a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower” (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there’s more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I’ll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and it’s all a bit of a blur.

A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed “THAT’S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART” and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn’t take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????!!!!!!????!!!!!! and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement.

Heard some important information on Twitter today, and thought I’d post it here for anyone who may not have heard it. This is actually a thing, devised by human rights organisation called Karma Nirvana.

Suri spilling the tea that Rhys is Feyre’s mate:

The Suriel spilling secrets like:

Also the Suriel spilling secrets about everybody

Everybody about the Suriel

How I imagine The Suriel throwing shade

The Suriel when it found out that Feyre had no idea that Rhys was her mate

Also the Suriel when it found out that Feyre had no fucking clue that Rhysand was her mate

Also everybody’s thoughts on the Suriel

In conclusion, the Suriel.

Before, she would have jumped at the sudden and unexpected pressure of someone’s hand on her waist, but nearly half a year in an 18th-century French court has taught Rose to adapt, if nothing else. (Her French is as abysmal as it ever was without the help of the TARDIS, but the court is graciously willing to overlook such things on behalf of the savior of their uncrowned queen.)

Still, Rose smiles as she dances, even if her partner can’t see it. “Someone’s awfully familiar today,” she teases (in mutilated French); probably it’s Henri, a little tipsy from the king’s finest wine, but he’s not half-bad to look at. “Feeling a bit grabby, are we?”

“Oh, you know me,” replies a soft voice behind her, in English, and it’s all Rose can do to stop herself tripping over her own feet. “I’m a hands-on learner.”

Rose’s heart leaps in her chest, hammering madly against her ribcage in time to the music and the steps of her feet below. Over a hundred days since she last heard that voice anywhere but her dreams; of course, she recognizes it instantly. Her grin is so wide now her face could almost split with the size of it. She squeezes her eyes shut, giving silent thanks to any gods that might be listening. <

(The impulse to stop in her tracks pulls at her, demanding her to spin and throw her arms around his neck and maybe never let go, but some part of her is afraid to—maybe she’s wrong, maybe it isn’t him, or it’s a dream, or if she looks at him, she’ll break the spell. So she keeps dancing.)

“And?” Rose prompts, insinuating her hand over his where it rests against her waist. “What have you learned?”

“That your French is atrocious.”

“Rude,” says Rose, but she laughs. She squeezes his other hand, the one leading them around the ballroom along with the rest of the courtiers. “It’s been five and a half months, and that’s all you’ve got to say to me?”

His grip on her waist tightens. “No, actually, it isn’t.”

“Aww, did you miss me?”

“Do you know the kind of trouble you could have gotten into?” he asks, his voice suddenly curt. “The damage you could have caused? Probably caused?”

His sharpness startles her, but Rose shrugs it off. “Don’t worry, I didn’t—”

“You have no idea what you did or didn’t do,” he hisses. “Weakening the integrity of this timeline, exposing everyone to the possibility of Reapers, compromising the safety of everyone here—”

“You mean Reinette,” Rose replies coolly.

“She’s part of everyone here, isn’t she? Or are you so thick that I have to spell that out for you, too?”

Rose laughs again, but the sound is shaky and thin this time, a scoff. “Why, hello, Doctor, it’s nice to see you too! Don’t ask about me, thanks, I’ve been doing just fine in the land of scratchy underwear and no plumbing.”

“I told you what would happen if that time window was smashed, Rose,” he continues as if he didn’t hear her; he’s so quiet Rose can barely hear him over the flutes and harpsichord and drums, but she can still make out the strain in his voice, the bite to it. “I was very explicit. I couldn’t have been clearer. So I’m struggling to understand—and that’s quite a feat, struggling to understand something with a brain as impressive as mine—why the hell you thought jumping through that window was a good idea.”

Twisting in his grasp, Rose cranes her neck to look at him, finally, and there he is, all furrowed brow and tight mouth and eyes glittering with anger, and god, if she wasn’t so irritated with him right now, she just might kiss him.

“That’s what you were going to do, isn’t it?” she asks instead.

***

Chapter: 1, 2, 3.

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Find it on AO3.

Chapter 3

It had taken the Mortal Queens exactly fifteen minutes to make him regret his attendance, their incessant rambling not allowing for so much as a single coherent thought to form in his mind.

He could feel the pull again, stronger than it was back in Velaris. There it had been easy to ignore, the distance allowing for some much needed reprieve. On the continent, however, beyond the Wall separating the magic, there was nothing to keep the tether at bay.

He knew that should he want to, he would be able to find the person on the other end of it immediately. The pull would lead him to her.

But he wouldn’t let himself be led.

Not because he didn’t want to. Though, at this point, he wasn’t sure he did. The girl had tricked him in a way only very few had ever dared. And none of them had lived to tell the tale.

No. Rhysand was still angry at himself for ever letting himself be vulnerable enough around her for her to even attempt it.

The audacity alone…

Were it anyone else, they would not have spared her. Had he not declared her to be his mate, Cassian wouldn’t have let her take another breath. He and Azriel would have brought down the Wall themselves had it meant they would find her.

The very wall these overgrown children calling themselves rulers of the mortal world were now trying to convince him to bring down instead, the events of the past fifty years having set everyone on edge.

Rhysand sat there silently, eyeing one woman after another. Their ages differed, but their purpose was clear. All but one – absolute devotees to the idea of flooding their world with ancient power, frightful enough to warrant its exile half a millennium ago, yet so coveted, even the ones once oppressed by it desired the feel of its vibration against their skin.

Their ancestors would have been ashamed of them. Blood had been spilt on both sides for the wall to be erected. More men had died than he wished to count. His own blood had seeped into the making of it. Strengthened it. Fed it. Its very essence was part of him, just like it was of every fae creature that had bled on those battlefields, the imposing rumble of its power keeping the real monsters at bay. And now these fools rallied to reverse it. The one thing keeping them alive.

The distance of time really did make feeble minds forget.