🐈‍⬛ Bitter Demon Yaoi 🦌

Drunk as hell flying a zeppelin because it doesn't count as operating heavy machinery

there’s such great power in having The Secret Blog No One Knows. even if no one even gives a fuck about your regular blog its like youve got some kind of awesome mystery you’re hiding from the world. Even when the secret blog gets 0 notes and is objectively stupid as fuck

Toxic swag gap relationship

if you elect me as president, i promise to attack dogs on vectors never before conceptuallized, we will be waging psychic war on dogs, even attacking and deterritorializing the notion of dogs, we will introduce 16 new words into the cultural lexicon relegated entirely to the abuse of dogforms, there will be dog kicking churches with dog kicking gods, and weapons of dog destruction

My role at the function is to lean on the table and look like a dying dog to bring the mood down of everyone else present

cats are so naturally skilled at Writhing In Sunbeam. i wish i had even a fraction of this talent but instead i just have all these bones

gets shot to death for experiencing desire