You’re Born A Shmuck, You’ll Die A Shmuck

dude i just got my ancestry test back and they’re saying im 96% the one-horned dog alien from Star Trek?

⎓⚍ᓵꖌ ||ᒷᔑ⍑. ꖎ𝙹𝙹ꖌ ᔑℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᒲ ⊣𝙹. ᒷ⍊ᒷリ ⊣∷𝙹𝙹⍊╎リ⊣ ╎リ ⍑ᔑꖎ⎓-ꖎ╎⎓ᒷ 2

hey followers. have you ever wanted to know how it feels to be inside a bag of cornflakes

ye

enter the cornflakes domain

I fucking hate this website because not only did I click this goddamn link expecting it to be a joke of some sort, but it wasn’t a joke and I sat here spinning the screen around enjoying myself in a stupid bag of cornflakes like the dumbass monkey I am on Tumblr.com, enthralled by being in a bag of corn flakes in

​this is such classic tumblr I'm surprised it has less then 50k notes

I drew that comic 11 years ago and it’s still accurate

you can’t believe what you think about yourself after sundown and you can’t believe what you think about yourself on your period and you can’t believe what you think about yourself when you’re hungry and you can’t believe what you think about yourself when you’re tired, the only time you can believe what you think about yourself is the split second after you’ve made someone laugh but only if it’s something other than “i should be a standup comedian”