it was a gougar

Parents are giving their children names no one has ever spoken out loud before

Baby Name Consultant is the type of job title you'd see people claim to have on HGTV while nitpicking 3 different multi-million dollar houses.

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

Horses are also expensive horses that love to die aren't they

Dobby Pussy Indulgence

Dobby Pussy Indulgence

The Pope Walks Into The Shop. Bangs His Sceptre On The Ground. And Demands A Dobby Pussy Indulgence

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

harsh words from one of the muppet babies

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

You can lie when you name things