cowabunga

i want 2 kiss someone at pride

I googled ‘how to get laid at pride’ and it turned up like 5 ‘the straight mans guide to boinking women at pride’ kill me

i hope no straight man ever gets his penis touched during the entire month june

like to charge reblog to cast

It’d really suck if I got ice or water-themed superpowers. I’d have to wear blue and white and gray instead of the reds and oranges I prefer.

wear the reds and oranges and pull an iceland/greenland on em

Also, no superhero should have a name that gives away the power set. Misdirection - “Get him, Lasereye!” “Haha, my mirror will deflect your, wait, why are you made of stone now?”

They call him laser eye because he once blinded himself with a laser pointer and it was the funniest shit they’d ever seen

yall r still mad at your high school english teachers for making u analyze shakespeare or hemingway to teach you the most basic understanding of metaphor and themes in art. thats a good thing dude. if people on here were more literate in that stuff we wouldnt have like. reylo shippers

I got a circle doorknob fuck w/ me robot bitch

he’s a good polite boy who opens doors for his friends!!! stop hating!!

cowards i’mm sleep BETTER knowing these good robot friends are on their way

what fuckin chump sees a robot dog open the door for its pal and is scared by these compassionate and caring robros

slides in with roombas strapped to both my feet: sup heteros

homophobia never sleeps

you have to have rope at a length of like 1 to 2 feet. or maybe a steel bar. something. that connects the roombas and keeps them at an appropriate distance.

finally a good suggestion. roomba bondage

Orrr like a carrot to a horse drawn carriage always throw a handful of dirt infront of you

please for the love of god turn ur sound on

don’t say “but sexuality is fluid” when a girl tells you she has no interest in men

I know I reblogged this mere hours ago, but it’s so good I wanna do it again.

in techno-catholicism you vape the communion wine

This is the most cursed post I’ve ever seen and I hope op gets excommunicated