Of Randomness and Randomness

and then one day, someone moves into the shitshow of a house across the street. it’s run down, overgrown, falling apart, and yet it somehow suits the burly, drop-dead gorgeous, white-haired man moving in.

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Geralt is a hunter. it’s all he’s ever known, all he’s ever been. there have been rumors of a large Fae population in (insert city name here), so naturally, that’s where he goes.

he was supposed to kill the Fae.

he was never meant to fall in love.

respectability politics is a trap.

…or future fic writers (those who are working on something to post for the future OR working on in private) or those who have retired from fanfiction but have posted it in the past, thank you so much!

It doesn’t matter if the fic isn’t from the fandoms I don’t participate in or read, or if it’s pairings I don’t ship, or even if it’s gen fic and not shippy, thank you so much for your work!

You all have shared so much of yourself in your writing and we are blessed to have seen the work that has come from your heart. Even if you don’t think it’s your best work, or even if you don’t think it’s the best compared to others, you took the time to create this thing and share it to the world and for that you deserve all credit for making that time and courage to share it with us!

Even you authors who are working on things but haven’t posted them yet! You have made the decision to post things that are coming from your heart in the future and I will tell you SOMEONE out there will appreciate all that hard work you have put in and appreciate what you have to write. Thank you for making that decision to take that step with us.

And to you retired fic writers, thank you for sharing that work with us even if fic writing is not your speed anymore for whatever reason. Your works have been cherished by someone out there, even if that person is anonymous and did not comment, and you deserve to be acknowledged for letting us have the privilege to see that for however brief a time.

Just THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Can't use golems in your fantasy world because they're beings that belong to Judaism and you aren't Jewish? Try using elementals!

Can't use w*nd*goag in your story because they're monsters from Native beliefs and you aren't Native? Try wraiths or forest spirits!

Can't use Skinwalkers, either? How about changelings, The Thing-type aliens or faeries?

Don't want to use Christian biblical angels? Try eldritch monstrosities from another world.

Don't want to namedrop La Llorona, Hachisukisama or the Cupecabrah? How about old-fashioned undead, zombies or ghosts?

I mean if you're gonna use a creature like Wendigo or a Golem, make the effort to do some research about them so you can get a clear idea how they are represented in said culture.

I'm not saying that using creatures like that are inherently offensive per say, but its kind of a bad choice to use beings from a religious belief or culture that have already been misinterpreted heavily in media. Chances are, people who make the diluted and incorrect depictions of these monsters probably said the exact same thing.

using golems as your fantasy "monster" is inherently antisemitic.

they're not only specific to jewish folklore, but they are benevolent. they're protectors of the jewish people from those intending to harm us.

Academia is racist and cements class antagonism by its very structure and mode of existence, not because you don’t want to put the effort in reading or learning. Academia is racist and “classist” by its admission standards, it test score standards, is demographic quotas, in the adherence to a propagandistic white western canon, and its flip side the tokenization of BIPOC voices, in the very system of paying for education, loan debts, school districts, funding, material inaccessibility, journal paywalls, the complete deprivation of publicly readily available knowledge, the impoverishment of common intellectual life.

A more accessible academic life would see the complete shattering of the ivory walls. Life long learning. The end of tenure. The end of capitalistic competition in publishing the newest piece of trash. 

There is bad writing. Of course. But when I see “write so a 5th grader can understand” I hear a call for the further impoverishment of intellectual life. A disregard for intellectual rigor. 

Half Succubus Jaskier

Jaskier wants everyone to understand that this isn’t his fault

How was he supposed to know he was adopted, no one ever told him!

And okay, the ridiculously slow aging maybe should have tipped him off, but he takes care of himself dammit, he bathes with clockwork regularity and all the running from monsters has done wonders for his physique, not to mention that a good half of his waking hours are spent bouncing on Geralts cock, let’s see what your arse looks like after two hours of riding a Witcher like he’s fleeing from a mob.

He’s thirty seven years old, in the best physical shape of his life, so what if this is when normal men his age start to slow down, he’s Julian Alfred Pankratz, renowned troubadour and lover to all, he is exceptional

He’s also, mmm, okay

He can acknowledge that a sudden increase in virility for a man pushing forty isn’t typical

Geralt, what if it’s a curse?

Geralt, what if it’s a sex curse?

Those are a thing, right?

Geralt blearily mumbles some nonsense into the pillow his face is currently smashed into, then proceeds to roll over and continue snoring

Useless Witcher

Leaving him alone to deal with his horrible sex curse alone, the traitor

This is what twenty years of delightful companionship gets him how dare he

It’s spring, Geralt what if it’s the pollen, sex pollen is something right, he remembers it from a salacious book he read in his youth

(It’s not the pollen)

It’s two weeks later when he’s pushing into Geralt for the fourth time in as many hours that Geralt’s Witcher medallion starts to hum

And that’s new

But then Geralt comes so hard he passes out and it goes forgotten until the next day

Geralt can’t take much more of this, he has Witcher stamina and Witcher healing and he can’t keep up sexually with a middle aged bard, something is wrong with this picture on about sixteen different levels

Off they go to the local healer, who refers them to a mage who refers them to a hedge witch of all things, deep in the forest

Who takes one look at the bags under Geralt’s eyes and the tent in Jaskier’s trousers and proceeds to laugh in their faces

A quick test to confirm, but it turns out Jaskier isn’t technically as human as he thought

In fact, by sex demon standards, he’s not much more than a spotted faced teenager who gets hard if a breeze happens to blow in just the right way

Geralt wants to run into the forest and scream when the amused witch informs them this is likely to get much worse before Jaskier is able to settle down and control himself like a proper succubus

Because this isn’t just a regular libido increase

hmm

yellow.

I get what you’re trying to say but you have to understand that there are kids who grow up on tobacco, there are kids who don’t know how else to cope, there are kids who think it’s a small way to rebel against someone who hasn’t treated them fairly. Most of these kids are in poverty or are seriously struggling. It’s not fair to label them as nothing but attention seeking morons.

Jaskier: So no calling you "my boyfriend" at the court party today? Fine.

*at the court party*

Some pretty woman, flirting: Oh, hi Jaskier! It's so nice to see you! And you are-