executive dysfunction protein hack is that u can just microwave scrambled eggs in a mug and u can even eat it right out of the mug if you want

hm i also think maybe. part of the reason i've been making myself crazy about gender stuff is really this thing that's like "well there's probably more going on here but i have to be frum so idr have time to think about that right now" but like first of all i already know and respect people who dress Very Differently in vs outside of community spaces and second of all like.. i don't LIKE women's formalwear and i don't even like how nail polish looks with the menswear i do like. i don't think i WANT to wear nail polish or skirts to shul. these are distinctly non-formal looks for me. and in any case i'm not. like. resigning myself to Terrible Evils if i put on nail polish on sunday and take it off on friday. eugh

forgot how good i feel in a skirt lmao hope this doesn't awaken anything in me but also like whatever. it can awaken me if it wants

ah fuck the concert is FULLY OUTSIDE

ough also all my MUSCLES hurt but in this case i think it's just normal non-disordered pain bc i haven't been. using them properly or frequently

i'm sad that certain things i'm doing are mildly doxxable bc there are so many things i'd like to share tbh

i think the weird thing is now that i'm suddenly doing better i'm coming to terms with the fact that i'm not just going to wake up one day and not be disabled. i don't get to have the life of a non-disabled person ever. i have to figure out how to do things differently in order to live like this. that's really scary actually

lol i wrote out a whole post that was like hm probably i can get away with not wearing kt tape on my wrists if i change my grip on my cane which is great bc i REALLY don't want to shave my arms but then i was Honest With Myself that after a day of no tape on my wrists bc i didn't like how it feels on my hair and trying to do just that i am in fact ☝️ in pain. so now i am shorn like a sheep

i didn't have a shirt to wear to the concert so i went to a vintage store and i didn't find anything in the men's section so i went to another secondhand store and didn't find anything either so i was so brave and went back to the first store and found THEE SHIRT OF ALL TIME in the women's section and i think the employees were proud of me.