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ughh i can FEEL myself entering chronic burnout mode again and i'm suddenly remembering that i have zero coping skills for this

#:-(((((((#.txt

kuttithevangu

Tevye Times is a historical period which overlaps with what Christian call vampire times. Both of these periods range from the fall of Rome to the 1880s and during them no one bathed, women were grindingly oppressed, Jews were constantly being boiled in oil, and no one could read. If you find historical record of a cultural accomplishment or a prosperous minority existing during vampire or Tevye times no you didn’t

#new vocabulary thank u

i also think a big part of this whole thing is honestly that i don't at all relate to (and am extremely jealous of) trans people who associate their transition with autonomy or freedom and now i have to do gender again in a different way in order to have that on account of my experiences.... #myexperiences

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i wish i had a personal stylist who could solve all my clothing problems...

#NOT having a good time rn w this #also my new glasses frames are such a downgrade and i am feeling bad abt my appearance abt it :-(#like it's not a big deal bc my autism migraine glasses are getting here in a week or two and i actually like the frames #but UGH #i had the option to go w bolder frames and DIDN'T and now i'm SAD and BORING #.txt

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mm. i'm not sure i have the wherewithal to like be a man wearing a skirt in public regularly. like there are a lot of factors that make this easier for me than for a lot of people who read as male and might like to do that but at the end of the day there's nothing that protects me from being a man (clearly religious jewish man!) wearing a skirt in public you know. which sucks bc i feel like i'm dying of gender rn and skirts are helping

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also tbh i think one of the reasons i was doing kinda bad these last few days is that whenever i'm doing alright i forget i still have to accommodate my sensory issues. or i take my sensory issues as a sign that i am not doing alright and spiral a little and refuse to get on with my day until i'm "feeling better" instead of just putting on my noise canceling headphones. like a pretty significant takeaway from last week is that my sensory issues don't necessarily improve at all when my overall health does (even if they become easier to identify and therefore more manageable) but i somehow haven't internalized it yet

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also i finally ordered FL-41 glasses i'm really excited to hopefully deal with less light sensitivity stuff and also look rad as hell

#the thing about accommodating your disabilities is that you can look rad as hell. i need to keep reminding myself of this bc it's true #.txt

did u guys know that yom kippur katan is really really great

#chodesh tov!!!!!!!!!!! the king is in the field!!!!!!!!!!#i am so happy to be here. past few days have been rough bc i pushed myself too hard but i really am so happy. BH!!!!!!!#.txt

prokopetz

The corollary of needing to be willing to frame arguments in terms of moral precepts you don't necessarily share is needing to be aware of subtext. Yes, it's easy to get a certain stripe of hyper-conservative folks to agree with anything you please by framing it in terms of opposition to Big Government, but a large part of that is because when you say "Big Government", what they hear is "Jews". You didn't hack their brain with magic words, you just didn't realise what you were saying!

imsobadatnicknames2

I don't remember what post exactly I said this in, but I remember I once saw someone doing this and had to be like "sometimes you think you're tricking the racist into agreeing with you when you're actually letting the racist trick you into agreeing with him"

#the thing is if there is a The Enemy to speak of people are eventually going to read that Enemy as jews #like that's literally what antisemitism is & it's a tendency fundamental to western ways of thinking abt good vs evil/self vs other/etc.#there are also other very good reasons not to focus politics on The Enemy (and moreover not to. have that as a concept.)#but like this is kind of a big one!

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deathless-dreams

Thank you for your partecipation.

#oof!#🩹

urgh kt tape is ANNOYING and EXPENSIVE but braces are HEAVY and CUMBERSOME i am going to start biting momentarily

#can my joints not just stop flopping around of their own accord. rude #.txt

jewblog

executive dysfunction protein hack is that u can just microwave scrambled eggs in a mug and u can even eat it right out of the mug if you want

jewblog

anyway this is not an original discovery lol. i highly recommend the book you gotta eat by margaret eby, very good for when you don't wanna eat but you gotta

#.txt

executive dysfunction protein hack is that u can just microwave scrambled eggs in a mug and u can even eat it right out of the mug if you want

#.txt

hm i also think maybe. part of the reason i've been making myself crazy about gender stuff is really this thing that's like "well there's probably more going on here but i have to be frum so idr have time to think about that right now" but like first of all i already know and respect people who dress Very Differently in vs outside of community spaces and second of all like.. i don't LIKE women's formalwear and i don't even like how nail polish looks with the menswear i do like. i don't think i WANT to wear nail polish or skirts to shul. these are distinctly non-formal looks for me. and in any case i'm not. like. resigning myself to Terrible Evils if i put on nail polish on sunday and take it off on friday. eugh

#something wrong w my brain #i need to get more skirts #.txt

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i don't even know how not to be cringe about this bc the first time i listened to mcr i was in a notoriously abusive psych ward having the worst time of my life and i've been listening to nothing but mcr for the last month as like a closure thing and the first week i actually have the energy to go to a concert for the first time in years i randomly stumble into extra tickets. got my ticket from one friend, borrowed a skirt from another, borrowed eyeliner from my roommate.... everything about this is a friendship collage! i love people! i was so overwhelmed by it the whole time, i love people so much and i've been so isolated and and and here i am!!! here i finally fucking am!!!!!

#concert was in itself sooooooooo cool also #anyway i am not even joking never kill yourself. it can be really nice here sometimes #.txt

wow i'm so excited. wonder how long i can make it without crying

#see u LATER !#.txt

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