"...We were put on this earth to fart around..."

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

So Sweden used to give random citizens control over the official @Sweden Twitter account for like a day/week/month or whatever. As you can see why, it didn’t last long

what do you mean it didn't last long they did this for like seven years between 2011 and 2018 they didn't stop doing it because someone tweeted about cock sdfgsdfgsdfgsdf they kept doing it for four more years after this

the funniest moment in dungeon meshi is when marcille is having her nightmare and brings up her dead bird while also talking about her dead dad, saying “papa and pipi” and laios automatically assumes pipi is marcilles third nonbinary parent on top of her mom and dad

Man no one even remembers laptop in bed. It was laptop in bed for years. Now it's just phone in bed. Maybe tablet. But usually phone. So much has changed

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

this is what I do with the preschoolers

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

the avatar movies are crazy bc "what if colonizers literally inhabited and puppeteered the bodies of indigenous peoples in order to exploit their homeland" sounds like the premise of some sort of anticolonial horror film, like specifically the kind of thing that would be commenting on self-indigenization among white settlers, but because it's James Cameron his whole takeaway from that premise is "it would be preddy cool"

actually sorry. the takeaway is also "the white settler possessing an indigenous body would actually be extremely good, perhaps even The Best, at being indigenous, and he would become their Leader"

[from behind my hand] Get a load in this guy

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