The longer I spend on earth, the more I realize I have not, do not, and will not ever matter. The sooner I can build up the nerve to kill myself, the better

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@bibliophile78
The longer I spend on earth, the more I realize I have not, do not, and will not ever matter. The sooner I can build up the nerve to kill myself, the better

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Wish I had the chutzpah to buy a gun and kill myself.
Matching your freak is beautiful and all but what you really need is a boy who's infatuated with your freak. Down bad for your freak. Deeply intrigued by your freak. Eager to see more of your freak. Supportive of your freak. Gets bricked up witnessing your freak, even.
I don't want anyone to 'match my freak.' I want someone to silence the voices in my head.
Of my parents' two kids, I'm the "smart" one.
My sister is the wise one. (no quotes)
It's that simple
Bad Bunny performs at the Super Bowl LX Halftime Show at Levi's Stadium on February 08, 2026 in Santa Clara, California. (Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images)
If you don't think this is beautiful, you can get fucked.

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10 Things I Hate About You (1999) dir. Gil Junger
I was so in love with Julia Stiles when this movie came out.
"What if you killed yourself on Christmas Day?"
INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS SUCK.
I just wanna be left alone in my stupid, shitty corner of the world until I build up the nerve to buy a Glock and blow my fucking brains out. Go away.
I wasn't born to show people the error of their ways. I was born to murder the world.
(from Clive Barker's Lord of Illusions)
Today is definitely a day where if I owned a gun, I'd put the muzzle against the side of my head and pull the trigger.
Same
Fantasizing about it right now.

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‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves A stately pleasure-dome decreed. And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
they fuck you up your mum and dad two vast and trunkless legs of stone i do not like it, sam i am as small as a world and as large as alone
God moves in a mysterious way:
He gives his harness bells a shake.
What will survive of him is love
If he should die before he wake.
I had a dream, which was not all a dream. See in her cell sad Eloisa spread, Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars. I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
A sudden blow: the great wings beating still Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
If I should die, think only this of me, Between what I see and what I say, In this short Life that only lasts an hour Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
#i get knocked down but i get up again #o‚ what a rogue and peasant slave am i! #didnt make sense not to live for fun #do you love the color of the sky? #everybody wants to rule the world #everybody walk the dinosaur #and if i could‚ i’d make a deal with god: #to keep it real i fuck him on the floor
tags by @arcnoise
As an English teacher and lit lover, this is amazing
mutuals let's all get our flu shots and covid boosters together
Getting mine this weekend!
When my dad died (Spring of 2017), my mother and my sister literally said to each other that they knew they'd need to handle me with kid gloves. I was the sensitive one. I still don't know whether to interpret that as them looking out for me or them calling me a weak ass bitch.
I might be a lush, but I ain't an alcoholic
Whether or not they exist, we're slaves to the gods.
-Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

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It just clicked with me that it's been 25 years since my first suicide attempt.
Crazy, right?
26 years
27 years!
I don't know what mental condition it is, or if it is related to the host of mental illnesses i have, but I just don't want to *BE*. There is nowhere in this dimension I want to be, and there is nothing I want to be doing. What am I supposed to do with that?