Weird Things My Bf Does/Says

That I'm only allowed to have 4 1/2 animals at a time. We have a dog and 3 cats. Guess who's getting a fish!?!?!?

My bf has decided that when we have kids we will conceive in February or March so that our kid learns to snowboard before it learns to skate..

He told me the weather was bad because my duck was so big and "You can't have it all!"

"I was talking to Tony, he was like "bro, do you even lift?" But Mexican, and not that sentance."

My bg is holding each of our cats up to the bathroom mirror and introducing them to themselves.

We're going on a trip and my bf assigned my friend a 'Tap Water Cup' because she cant drink our filtered water XD

So I can start kidnapping people for money"- playing some homeless game

Uses gum wrapper to blot face

And he was using him to prop up his tablet. Then was confused when it fell

Bf: Looking at porn on phone in incognito tab. Gf: Why is your voicemail wearing a hat? Bf: -migraine-, -tumblr post-