Better Off Jenn

Today, I moved my little workout area from the basment to the second bedroom because in the 3 years my partner and I have lived in this house I never worked out at home. If it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind. Now, I’ll see it every day and the plan is to get into a good routine! (Ignore the electrical mess as I just wanted to get everything set-up. I’ll clean it up later.)

I am also working on changing my eating habits so I’m working through The Intuitive Eating Workbook. I completed the introduction and I’m about to dive into Chapter 1 today.

A friend from college just posted this on her Facebook and this really resonated with me. Over the past 10 years or so, I’ve ridden a similar emotional rollercoaster, pushed myself in certain ways while neglecting other areas, and more recently, I have completely sidelined myself from my life.

For the past 9 years, I have kept myself busy with a full-time job, part-time graduate classes, and part-time jobs. I didn’t realize until very recently that I was keeping myself busy as a way to avoid my emotional issues and physical health. I’m too busy to exercise. It’s too hard to meal prep/eat healthy when I have no time. It was even easier to make these excuses once I became a teacher!

It all got worse in 2016 when I was diagnosed and treated for thyroid cancer. I was out of work for 2 months because if it. When I was supposed to return to teaching, I ended up with a mild case of Stevens-Johnson Syndrome and was hospitalized for about 3 weeks. I never did return back to work that school year. It sucked. It damaged my mentality more than I realized. Plus, my weight ballooned up after all this even after a couple years of gaining back weight little by little.

I broke my fifth metacarpal on 12/3/19. I was in a plaster splint for 10 days before getting this cast, which I’ve been in for 17 days now. I was doing okay at first, but now that I still haven’t received a definite end date to being casted I’m struggling—mentally.

This is my dominant hand so I can’t do much of what I used to, including simple everyday tasks like putting my hair in a ponytail. I know, I know. This only temporary so I shouldn’t complain. Especially when people can do what I’m complaining about with only one hand or arm.

Today, I’m really struggling staying positive though. All I want to do is clean and organize my stuff like I usually do around this time, but it’s a bitch. It’s frustrating and I’m fighting the urge to cut this damn cast off.

Hello, 2020.

For the first time in almost 10 years, I am NOT working a part-time job or taking graduate/professional development classes while teaching full-time.