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@bethanious
May we find someone fluent in our own language, so we donât have to spend a lifetime translating our souls.Â

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When you know how to die, you know to live. - Morrie Schwartz
âSome lessons repeat until you stop romanticizing what hurts you.â
A word that can feel heavy at times. But if you try to simplify it actually can be anything. And for now, I just want to be more focused on having targets: buying a house, having a stable job, living comfortably. Some simple things, that are not really simple actually, but felt achievable. Things that I actually can measure (with money of course). Because at the end, I believe that it is not easy to really find the deeper sense of purpose if you are living in an unstable environment, especially with a non stable mental health either.
Letting love move through me instead of chasing it. Letting people misunderstand me instead of exhausting myself explaining. And I let the things be.... that are not in my control.

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But somewhere along the way I started asking myself questions I had never allowed beforeâ..... What do I actually want? What do I actually feel? What am I when Iâm not adjusting myself for someone elseâs comfort? And the answers surprised me. I want to feel like sunlight feels when it falls on old leaves unbothered, warm in its own softness, touching whatever it touches without needing permission.
Maybe it was middle-child syndrome. But maybe it was the quiet residue of growing up a little emotionally neglected not in a dramatic, story-worthy way, but in that slow, invisible way where your feelings become background noise even to you. (Iâm not saying always but sometimes you feel like that)
6 Life Lessons from the Series The Summer I Turned Pretty
The Summer I Turned Pretty is more than just a summer romance filled with drama and fluttering feelings.
Iâm diving into a series thatâs stolen my heart, The Summer I Turned Pretty. Based on Jenny Hanâs novels, this show is like a perfect summer day, sunshine, beach waves, and just the right amount of heart-tugging drama.
I binged it on Amazon Prime when I needed an escape from corporate life also college life, and let me tell you, it felt like slipping back into my teenage years, when every summer felt like a new chapter. I knew I love this series since I found the bookset in bookstore. Like i can feel it, they called me like, ââŚ.pick me, adopt me, read meâŚâ it yanked me straight back to my awkward teen memories, where every flip-flop step felt like the start of an epic adventure.
At its core, the series follows Isabel âBellyâ Conklinâs transformative summers at Cousins Beach, entangled in the intricate affections of the Fisher brothers, Conrad and Jeremiah. Yet, beyond this central love triangle lies a wealth of timeless wisdom, particularly resonant for teenagers and young adults navigating the labyrinth of self-discovery. What begins as an idyllic seaside sojourn evolves into a poignant meditation on love, personal evolution, and the intricate dance of relationships.
Itâs the kind of show that hits you right in the nostalgia, especially if youâre a teen or young adult still figuring out your own Cousins Beach. So, pour yourself an iced coffee (extra splash of vanilla or fresh milk and a pinch of salt, trust me), and letâs unpack these life lessons with a dash of my over-the top excitementâŚ.. because, guys, Iâm obsessed and I need you to feel it too. Hehe, sorry not sorry. Hopefully, itâll spark something real in you.
Hopefully, itâll hit home for you too!
Here are some lessons we can take away :
1. Love Is Not Just About Feelings, But Also Timing and Courage
Love in The Summer I Turned Pretty is portrayed with raw authenticity, full of confusion, hope, and sometimes pain. The love triangle between Belly, Conrad, and Jeremiah teaches us that love isnât always straightforward.
Sometimes, we love someone at the wrong time, or those feelings come with uncertainty. More importantly, the series reminds us that love requires courage to be honest with ourselves and others, and courage to accept that not all love stories unfold as we hope.
Remember that scene where everything hangs in the air, unspoken? Yeah, it wrecked me, because it screamed ;
Love isnât a straight shot, itâs a detour full of âwhat ifsâ that teach you to trust your gut.
The delicate interplay among Belly, the introspective Conrad, and the effervescent Jeremiah lays bare the truth that romantic entanglements are rarely linear paths.
Feelings may ignite with fervent intensity, only to clash against the unforgiving currents of circumstance: a mismatched moment, an unspoken doubt, or the quiet terror of vulnerability. The series, with its unflinching authenticity, underscores a vital imperative ;
True love necessitates the bravery to confront oneâs innermost truths and extend that honesty to others.
Equally poignant is the grace required to release a connection that refuses to align with our deepest yearnings.
Lesson for us : Listen to your heart, but donât be afraid to ask yourself,
âWhat do I truly need right now?â
Sometimes, waiting for the right moment or letting go is the truest form of love. Also sometimes, the bravest love is hitting pause, waiting for the stars to align, or even waving goodbye. Itâs okay if it stings thatâs how you learn to love without losing yourself.
2. Growth Means Embracing Change, Even When It Hurts
Bellyâs journey from a naive teenager to someone beginning to grasp lifeâs complexities forms the pulsating heartbeat of the narrative. The summer at Cousins Beach isnât just about vacation; itâs about how she learns to accept change, in herself, her family, and her relationships. There are moments when she must face the reality that not everything stays the same, like her bond with her mother or Conradâs elusive feelings.
She grapples with the dissolution of those familiar certainties, the evolving dynamic with her steadfast yet complex mother, Laurel, whose tough (love armor) think sharp words over morning coffee that cut deep but always circle back to fierce protection. It pushes Belly to confront her own vulnerabilities without a safety net, teaching her that even the strongest anchors can shift with the tides. Or the enigmatic veil shrouding Conradâs sentiments, pulling her into a dance of doubt and desire.
And hereâs the exhale weâve all been waiting for: at the end, Belly finally chooses herself, ditching the endless tug-of-war of hearts and expectations to run away to Paris in a bold, solo leap that feels like pure, electric freedom. Itâs running toward the unknown, and god, does it pay off. That choice? Spot-on. Away from the Cousins Beach echo chamber where sheâs always leaned on Laurelâs guiding hand, the Fisher boysâ gravitational pull, or even Taylorâs hype squad to steer her ship, Belly blooms in the City of Light.
She stumbles through crepe fueled mornings and Seine side soul searching, piecing together who she is without the script from those around her confidence as hell, owning her quirks, her dreams, her messy heart. No more orbiting othersâ orbits; this is her charting the map, one defiant step at a time. Itâs the ultimate mic-drop on dependence, whispering that sometimes, the greatest love story starts when you ghost the drama and ghostwrite your own epic. Heart eyes, every time.
Lesson for us :
Change is a part of life. Sometimes, we must let go of the past to make room for a new version of ourselves. Though it may feel bitter, thatâs where we find the strength to grow.
Change isnât a villain itâs the plot twist that forces you to level up. It hurts like hell to let go of the old you, the easy summers, the illusions. But lean into it, cry it out if you need to, because on the other side? Thatâs where your roots dig deeper, and you bloom into someone fierce. Youâve got this. I promise.
3. Family and Friendship Are Anchors in Lifeâs Storms
Okay, letâs talk anchors, because amid all the swoony drama, itâs the people who make this show feel like a warm hug from home. Bellyâs got her rock-solid crew: her mom Laurel, whoâs all tough-love exterior hiding a mama-bear heart thatâd move mountains for her kids; Taylor, the bubbly bestie whoâs equal parts chaos and loyalty, dragging Belly out of her funks with one killer playlist and zero judgment; and donât get me started on Steven, Bellyâs big bro, whoâs got that protective sibling vibe dialed up to 11, teasing her mercilessly one minute, then showing up like a knight in baggy board shorts when she needs backup.
Then thereâs the Fishers: Susannahâs effortless grace wrapping everyone in unconditional love, even as her own storms brew. From Laurelâs no-BS pep talks that cut through Bellyâs teen haze (âKiddo, lifeâs too short for half measures, fight for what mattersâ), to Taylorâs fierce âIâm here, spill it allâ energy that reminds you real friends donât bail during the ugly cries, these sidekicks arenât just backdrop. I love their characters!
Theyâre the glue!! Stevenâs eye-rolls at the romance? Theyâre his way of saying, âIâve got your back, sis. Always,â teaching us that family isnât perfect, but itâs yours. And Susannah? Her quiet wisdom in the face of fading summers hits like a wave,
âHold on tight to the ones who make you feel seen.â
Amid the romantic drama, the series highlights Bellyâs relationships with her mother, Laurel, her best friend, Taylor, and the Fisher family. Conflicts arise, but the bonds of family and friendship remain a safe haven. Laurel, though sometimes stern, shows deep love through her protective actions. Taylor, with her lively yet loyal spirit, reminds us that true friends stand by us, even when we make mistakes.
Lesson for us :
Cherish the people who are always there for you, even when youâre lost in your own emotions. They remind you that youâre never alone.
In the middle of your own heart-hurricanes, cling to those ride-or-diesâââthe ones who text at 2 a.m., brew your coffee just right, or call you out with love. Theyâre your reminder that solo voyages suck; youâre never truly adrift with them in your corner. Call one today. Seriously.
4. Learning to Forgive, Including Yourself
Nobodyâs a saint in Cousins Beach, and thatâs the magic. Bellyâs rash choices? Conradâs emotional fortress that leaves everyone guessing? Jeremiahâs golden boy mask cracking under hidden hurts? Itâs all so human, so us.
The show doesnât sugarcoat the fallout betrayals sting, words wound but it whispers that forgiveness is the secret sauce to moving forward. Bellyâs tentative steps toward mending fences, especially with herself after those âwhy did I do that?â regrets? Itâs cathartic, like exhaling after holding your breath too long. Laurelâs arc adds this layer too. Her stern edges softening as she forgives her own past slips, modeling that even moms mess up and rebuild. Taylorâs quick-to-laugh forgiveness? Itâs her superpower, pulling Belly back from self-doubt spirals with a simple, âGirl, weâre all works in progress high-five for trying.â. Belly learns to forgive those who hurt her, and more importantly, she learns to forgive herself for her confusion and missteps.
Many characters in the series make mistakes Belly with her impulsive decisions, Conrad with his guarded nature, or Jeremiah with his way of hiding pain. Yet, the series teaches that forgiveness is part of healing.
Lesson for us :
We all make mistakes. itâs human. Forgiving others is important, but donât forget to forgive yourself. Youâre learning, and thatâs enough.
Weâre all stumbling through this, impulsive texts, walls we build too high, pains we bury. Forgiving others? Vital. But the real game-changer? That gentle âitâs okay, youâre humanâ you give your reflection. Cut yourself slack, youâre not broken, just evolving. One deep breath, one âI forgive me,â and watch the weight lift.
5. Summers End, But Memories Last Forever
The title nails it that one summer where Belly turns pretty, not just on the outside, but in the fierce, flawed way she starts owning her story. Itâs packed with stolen kisses, bonfire laughs, and those knife-twist goodbyes that make you ugly cry into your pillow (I do!) . But hereâs the gut-punch truth : Seasons shift, beaches empty out, but the echoes? They stick. Stevenâs goofy volleyball antics become the inside jokes that bond you forever, Taylorâs wild dance parties etch joy into your bones. Even the heartbreaks fade into wisdom, like Susannahâs fading smiles teaching you to chase joy while itâs hot.
Soak it up : the belly laughs that leave you sore, the tears that taste like ocean salt, the confusing crushes that rewrite your heart. Theyâre not endings; theyâre chapters fueling the badass youâre becoming. Whatâs your summer right now?
Lesson for us :
Savor every second of your youth. The tears, laughter, and even the confusion you feel now are part of the story shaping a stronger you in the future.
6. âIâm right here, not going anywhereâ
In the end, #TeamConrad wins! But letâs zoom in first on the heart wrenching core of Bellyâs journey that leaves you with all the feels : her relationship with Conrad, that brooding bad boy whoâs like a magnet and a thorn in your thumb all at once. Their story is an emotional storm that drains you completely, making you flip between adorable frustration where you wanna chuck the remote and yell, âJust say it already, Conrad! Bellyâs been waiting since she was a kid!â
Every stolen glance, every word caught in their throats itâs like running a marathon on scorching sand, exhausting, but for some reason, you canât look away. Conrad with his thick ice walls, hiding his feelings behind that crooked smirk and eyes dark as a starless night, forces Belly and us as viewers to work overtime chasing the shards of his heart. There are these tiny moments, like when he softly sings in the car or holds Bellyâs hand in a crowd, that suddenly squeeze your chest with heartbreaking tenderness, itâs like a warm hug in a downpour, reminding you that,
beneath the chaos, thereâs a love so deep, grown from those childhood years chasing each other on the beach.
What amps up the energy drain in this relationship is the timing thatâs always off-kilter, like a watch thatâs two minutes fast but still makes you late for that crucial meeting. Bellyâs blooming, full of that fiery teen energy wanting everything now, while Conrad? Heâs like a shipwreck learning to swim again, too tangled up wrestling his personal demons, from family pressures to shadows of the past, to give Belly space without second-guessing.
The cuteness overload hits when Belly finally musters the courage to confess, and Conrad takes a step back, eyes sparkling but mouth sealed shut. âWhy do you always do this?!â we wanna scream, but at the same time, itâs so touching because we know, behind that cool facade, Conradâs shielding Belly from the storm heâs barely surviving himself.ace without second-guessing.
Remember that dance party scene? When he pulls her into the corner, whispering half-hearted words loaded with hidden meaning. Thatâs the peak, a whirlwind of frustration and quiet awe that has tears streaming down your face before you even realize. Their bond is like a ballad with beautiful lyrics but a rhythm that wears you out, and thatâs exactly why we fall for it :
Proof that real love isnât always easy, but damn, itâs worth the battle.
And honestly, amid the emotional burnout that makes you wanna hit pause and take a deep breath, thereâs this layer of poignancy that makes it all feel⌠priceless!! Conrad isnât just Bellyâs first crush. Heâs the mirror showing her wild, vulnerable side, the one thatâs always been pigeonholed as the âlittle sisterâ by everyone else. Every near-touch, their hands brushing on the dock, or when Conrad patiently teaches Belly to play the violin despite his trembling fingersâŚ. feels like watching two souls that fit perfectly, fumbling to assemble the puzzle without a guide.
The frustrating cuteness? Bellyâs innocent overthinking, sending mixed signals that leave Conrad even more bewildered. But the heart-melter? When he finally cracks open, sharing fragments of his fears with her, and Belly responds with a hug that screams, âIâm right here, not going anywhere.â Itâs not some instant happily-ever-after, but a silent promise that theyâre growing together, even if the roadâs twisty and tiring.
This relationship teaches us,
âŚ..true love isnât always fireworks. Sometimes itâs a slow burn that leaves you stronger, more empathetic, and yeah, way more ready for whatever comes next.
The Summers of Our Lives
The Summer I Turned Pretty isnât just a show. Itâs a mirror of our youth full of âwhat now?â whispers. Vibrant, yet filled with confusion and questions. It invites us to embrace it all with an open heart.
So, spill whatâs the âsummerâ youâre living throughâââthe love thatâs timing you wrong, the change thatâs got you reeling, the crew thatâs got your back?
Eventhough i live in country that has no summer, but donât get me wrong I know how it feels like hehehe.
So, whatâs the summer of your life right now? What are you learning from your days, the people around you, or your own heart? Take a moment to reflect, and remember,
every season of your life is part of the beautiful story youâre writing.
Whatâs your favorite lesson? Hit me Iâm all ears (and feels). đ
With Love,
â B
âSometimes you have to forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve.â
â Unknown
âThey burned the bridge, then ask why I donât visit.â
â Ugo Eze

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âCutting people out of my life doesnât mean I hate them, it simply means I respect me.â
â Unknown
âThe life in front of you is far more important than the life behind you.â
â Joel Osteen
âRelationships are like glass. Sometimes itâs better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself trying to put them back together.â
â Unknown
I Forgive My Father for His Emotional Unavailability
He was a strong, hardworking man who never failed to put food on our table. But emotionally, he was like a glass wall, transparent yet untouchable.
Picture a home filled with the sound of childrenâs laughter, the comforting aroma of my motherâs cooking, but in the corner of the living room, an empty chair that seems to whisper, âIâm here, but not truly present.â That was my childhood with my father. He was a strong, hardworking man who never failed to put food on our table. But emotionally, he was like a glass wall, transparent yet untouchable. Heart-to-heart talks? Rare. A hug when I woke up crying from a nightmare? Almost nonexistent.
In psychological terms, this is called emotional unavailability a pattern where someone struggles to express or respond to emotions, often because of their own past traumas, like a cold upbringing or the weight of lifeâs pressures.
I vividly remember my teenage years, feeling an emptiness every time I tried to share stories about school. My father would nod, but his eyes seemed to look elsewhere, lost in his own burdens. Psychologists like Sue Johnson, in her Emotionally Focused Therapy, explain that this absence can create a cycle of insecurity in relationships, leaving children craving validation that never comes. I felt it : I became a perfectionist, always seeking external approval because inside, there was a gaping void. Reflecting on this, I asked myself, âWhy should I carry this weight forever? Does forgiving mean forgetting?â No, dear friends.
Forgiving doesnât erase memories; it frees the soul.
My journey to forgive my father began with understanding. I learned to see him not as a villain but as a human, shaped by his own upbringing. Perhaps my grandfather was the same, a chain unbroken. I ever read some book said,
Forgiveness starts with empathy for others, which then turns inward.
I began journaling, âDad, I forgive you because you didnât know how to love me the way I needed. You gave the best you could.â Those words were like a balm, healing wounds that had bled silently for years.
From there, I reconnected with self-compassion, a gentle love for myself, soft like morning dew. I learned to speak to myself as I would a dear friend, âYou are worthy of love, even if Dad couldnât show it.â Mindfulness practices, like short morning meditations, helped me cultivate the security Iâd been missing.
I ever read book that i forgot the tittle said internal security (secure attachment) can be rebuilt in adulthood, through healthy relationships with others or even with ourselves. I created small rituals, READING BOOK on trauma healing, walking in the park while listening to soothing music, and most importantly, letting myself cry without shame.
Thtâs why i love reading so much. I started read when i was 6, cause i have nobody at home when my parents go to work. I have a nanny to take care of me, but she always made me alone.
Now, my relationship with my father is no longer steeped in resentment. We talk more often, still awkwardly at times, but thereâs a new warmth growing from forgiveness. And more beautifully, I feel safer within myself like a tree with strong roots, no longer swaying with every external breeze.
I donât know who need to read this but if youâre in same boat, remember :
forgiveness is a gift to yourself, not to them.
Start with one small step, reflect, and let self-compassion wrap you like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Thank you for reading this piece of my heart. I may not feel fully at ease diving too deeply into my fatherâs story, but Iâd love for you to share your own experiences in the comments. We heal together through our storiesđ¸
â B
I Forgive My Father for His Emotional Unavailability
He was a strong, hardworking man who never failed to put food on our table. But emotionally, he was like a glass wall, transparent yet untouchable.
Picture a home filled with the sound of childrenâs laughter, the comforting aroma of my motherâs cooking, but in the corner of the living room, an empty chair that seems to whisper, âIâm here, but not truly present.â That was my childhood with my father. He was a strong, hardworking man who never failed to put food on our table. But emotionally, he was like a glass wall, transparent yet untouchable. Heart-to-heart talks? Rare. A hug when I woke up crying from a nightmare? Almost nonexistent.
In psychological terms, this is called emotional unavailability a pattern where someone struggles to express or respond to emotions, often because of their own past traumas, like a cold upbringing or the weight of lifeâs pressures.
I vividly remember my teenage years, feeling an emptiness every time I tried to share stories about school. My father would nod, but his eyes seemed to look elsewhere, lost in his own burdens. Psychologists like Sue Johnson, in her Emotionally Focused Therapy, explain that this absence can create a cycle of insecurity in relationships, leaving children craving validation that never comes. I felt it : I became a perfectionist, always seeking external approval because inside, there was a gaping void. Reflecting on this, I asked myself, âWhy should I carry this weight forever? Does forgiving mean forgetting?â No, dear friends.
Forgiving doesnât erase memories; it frees the soul.
My journey to forgive my father began with understanding. I learned to see him not as a villain but as a human, shaped by his own upbringing. Perhaps my grandfather was the same, a chain unbroken. I ever read some book said,
Forgiveness starts with empathy for others, which then turns inward.
I began journaling, âDad, I forgive you because you didnât know how to love me the way I needed. You gave the best you could.â Those words were like a balm, healing wounds that had bled silently for years.
From there, I reconnected with self-compassion, a gentle love for myself, soft like morning dew. I learned to speak to myself as I would a dear friend, âYou are worthy of love, even if Dad couldnât show it.â Mindfulness practices, like short morning meditations, helped me cultivate the security Iâd been missing.
I ever read book that i forgot the tittle said internal security (secure attachment) can be rebuilt in adulthood, through healthy relationships with others or even with ourselves. I created small rituals, READING BOOK on trauma healing, walking in the park while listening to soothing music, and most importantly, letting myself cry without shame.
Thtâs why i love reading so much. I started read when i was 6, cause i have nobody at home when my parents go to work. I have a nanny to take care of me, but she always made me alone.
Now, my relationship with my father is no longer steeped in resentment. We talk more often, still awkwardly at times, but thereâs a new warmth growing from forgiveness. And more beautifully, I feel safer within myself like a tree with strong roots, no longer swaying with every external breeze.
I donât know who need to read this but if youâre in same boat, remember :
forgiveness is a gift to yourself, not to them.
Start with one small step, reflect, and let self-compassion wrap you like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Thank you for reading this piece of my heart. I may not feel fully at ease diving too deeply into my fatherâs story, but Iâd love for you to share your own experiences in the comments. We heal together through our storiesđ¸
â B

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Healing in Silence
I asked to my old self âdo you wanna be like this, forever?â that no matter how many times I keep asked and seek for any reasonable answers that can cure all my traumas or sadness, thereâs nothing I could do instead of bringing myself to step forward and continue what I had to continue. Turns out, moving forward and step ahead will lead us getting close to found more little bits of joy and love that we never thought we do deserves it no matter what the past lives that we had.
The thought of disappearing is comforting.
Itâs not about running from my problems, nor is it about wanting to be forgotten. Itâs about finding peace in solitude â about allowing myself to breathe without the pressure of being someone to anyone else. When I disappear, I am free. Free to think, to feel, to exist without the need for validation. I can read, sleep, take long walks, or simply sit in silence, away from the weight of everything I carry.
Self-isolation has always been my way of coping.
Itâs how I reset, how I reclaim the parts of myself that get lost in the noise of everyday life. The world never stops moving, never stops asking for more. But when I disappear, I can press pause. I can remind myself that I am still here â that I still matter, even when no one is looking.
The act of learning how to be kinder to yourself isnât that easy as its says. It might took forever to finally stepped into the moment when you can embrace all the traumas, the worst nightmares, the pain, and all the sorrow youâve had been through alone. But, you have to believe that time will makes it worth in the end. There will always be some joys and love that surrounds you to keep you stay alive and be grateful for anything that youâve been carrying through this far.
The idea that not knowing, and simply allowing yourself to float, can be a kind of release â freeing you from the pressure of always having to have answers or a clear path. Sometimes the constant striving, the relentless need for direction, can be more exhausting than just embracing the moment as it is. Thereâs something serene in letting go of control, in trusting that, even without a plan, youâre still part of the worldâs rhythm. Itâs like a quiet surrender to the uncertainty, a way of finding peace in the unknown.
Because pain is contagious.
Because silence is suffocating.
-Bethanious
"why did you stop writing your story!!! never stop writing!!!!!!!!!!!" well you see the character had to drive one mile to a new location and the sentence "she got into the car" was quite simply my undoing