MCU but just the superhero community being horrified and confused by how vigilantes operate. Explained by Spider-Man whoâs been doing this shit since he was 14.
The Avengers need to team up with vigilantes, after the Sokoiva accordâs drama they try to work with smaller heroâs for PR and to understand street level culture. They of course ask the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man since he knows Iron Manâs and seems talkative enough in addition to knowing everyone.
Spider-Man is a high-schooler with criminal connections, radioactive DNA and a mild concussion. he had no fucking idea why the Avengers are talking to him. He only helped Iron Man to get him off his ass so he wouldnât snitch to his aunt.
Spider-Man has no jurisdiction, Spider-Man does not give a fuck who has jurisdiction. But also you need to respect the jurisdiction. There are levels to this shit.
Spider-Man is a well known New York vigilante. Thereâs no official qualifications to be one and nobody ever officially certifies you. You just do what you want to do and you know youâve made it when you start getting a designated press companyâs to slander youâre name or when youâre enemies start to get elaborate themeâs. There should be forums and community who monitor vigilante activity, maybe they have little markers for potential long term vigilantes like the one year mark or surviving your first alien invasion but otherwise it alls very arbitrary. Regardless itâs obvious Spider-Man is legit and not going anywhere.
Spider-Man explains that he operates in Queens, but Manhattan is free game. Technically heâs a New York vigilant so heâs not really bound to any one specific borough. But like if anyone asks for him heâs in Queens thatâs his turf. You gotta respect the turf. Again there are levels to this shit. Nobody fucking respects the turf.
He argues that, no heâs not being weird. Thatâs how vigilantes operate they donât do well in groups and close proximity. The back bone of vigilante culture is you gotta be able to handle your shit. The only way you become a vigilante is by living long enough and pissing enough people off to be considered one. The requirement isnât having superpowers or being strong or lethal , itâs literally just getting back up after you get laid out.
The Avengers are a little confused but canât disagree since they donât know how they work. They are used to the structure of SHEILD missions. They ask whoâs in charge
Spider-Man looks offended at that question. Nobodyâs in charge, thereâs no offical rankings. Everyone just does their own thing and unless youâre pissing off other people thereâs no reason to try and extent authority. None of the vigilantes respect authority, all vigilantes are assholes none of them have authority or any sense of self preservation. If youâre lucky you wonât interact with another vigilante, unfortunately all vigilantes are connected through a string of cruel fate to accidentally meet. Vigilanteâs fall into two categories of fucking assholes or little shits, regardless they tend to be pretty decent people.
This Is all just one giant pissing contest of who can get their goals completed while staying out of jail and being somewhat alive. You donât have authority, you will eventually piss off another vigilante and this will lead to mutual respect if you both make it out alive with your goals somewhat accomplished. You might hate eachother or become best buddies or both simultaneously but competence is the determining factor.
Spider-Man explains Harlem is for Luke Cage but heâs not really a hero. Yes he knows Luke is called Harlemâs hero but Luke has an identity thing going on okay. Itâs not polite to pressure enhanced people into taking the hero mantle. Heâs like a Good Samaritan/vigilante/ hero but donât pry. Depending on what stage of the identity conflict heâs on he will accept the term hero or beat you for saying that.
Chinatown is for Danny Rand, He has a secret identity but itâs really bad secret like literally everyone knows it. No heâs not a vigilante heâs got monk things going on and a fist that glows but donât bring it up in-front of people it was a whole thing last time. He does martial art or whatever and heâs super rich youâll know itâs him because he canât control his volume and we just recently got him to start wearing shoes.
Hellâs Kitchen is for Daredevil, Yes Spider-Man knows his secret identity but heâs not gonna tell you seriously donât ask him? Itâs so rude to snitch on people whereâs youâr sense of cape community? Secret identity shenanigans are the founding pillars of vigilantism? Look Daredevil takes weird breaks okay so just donât send him spiraling he has a guilt complex thing and he bites so just donât piss him off. His default setting is angry omnipotent asshole. Yes daredevil is strangely nice to Spider-Man but this is an outlier not the status quo. Donât talk shit about him heâll find out and also he thrives on chaos heâs surprisingly willing to do stupid shit with you if you ask nicely.
Also Jessica Jones technically inhabits Hellâs Kitchen but sheâs not really about that hero life sheâs a private investigator itâs different. Like sheâll help people but very begrudgingly and often while drunk but just ignore her for the most part unless you have something sheâll want in exchange. Youâve gotta get on her good side but thatâs not something you can force all vigilante friendships are avoidant truma bonds thy occur when you have to kill dinosaurs together.
Also vigilantes donât do friends. Except for Spider-Man he has a shit ton of vigaintes friends. Friendship in the vigilante community happens through osmosis of whatever toxic fumes youâre being exposed to in the sewers.
Yes all of the mentioned people know each other but itâs different. Look no theyâre not in cahoots okay you need to understand they know each other and they arenât enemyâs but they also arenât really friends but they trust each other but also they dont want to work together at all. Their a lot of very complex dynamics at play that rely on the mutual understanding of how mentally unhinged everyone in the vigainte community can be.
Spider-Man explains you canât go into Hellâs Kitchen, youâll piss off Daredevil. Itâs just like common courtesy, okay you canât fuck around in another vigilantes territory. No itâs not specifically assigned to any vigilante but like you just need to know who protects what. Nobody tells you about this stuff but one day youâll wander into a borough at 2AM and get a baton to the temple as an introduction. If youâre quips are funny enough and and youâre heart is pure you might be allowed back inside.
Yes Daredevil knows Spider-Man was fighting Kingpin in Hellâs Kitchen last week thatâs different. No trust him, nobody likes Fisk thatâs fair game you can fight Fisk anywhere. Also Spider-Man got ran over like four times with a tank when you get injured enough itâs like a pass to enter other vigilantes spaces.
Spider-Man should be exasperated explaining that no you donât understand it was a Midday unplanned fight with kingpin where he was really injured Daredevil wonât care itâs different.
Also the dumpsters are free rein. You can pass out in any alleyway or dumpster you want itâs a god given right. All vigilantes, anti-heroâs, superheroâs and capes are entitled to bleeding out in a back alleyways. Disgusting blood soaked pavement is the foundation of this community.
Thereâs also anti-heroâs like The Punisher. Spider-Man thinks heâs a criminally insane public threat who needs psychological help but heâs able to handle himself and Spiderman doesnât want a bullet in his side so they stay out of each others ways. Thereâs also mercenaryâs like Deadpool but you canât really befriend them? They do their thing and you can try to stop it from happening but antagonizing them unprovoked isnât the best idea.
This isnât to say he lets them do whatever because he has a moral obligation to protect but he doesnât actively go out to hunt the person does this make sense?
The avengers think Spider-Man is spouting shit because nothing he says is coherent or makes sense but he says it with such conviction.
