it's just a mess in here

i know this is tumblr and we’re all playing perverts but i just think some of you would be excellent company for a late night walk and a four hour conversation about absolutely nothing

I need something pornographic to happen to me soon

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

does anyone wanna come over and be devastated

today our zoo had an annual 21+ day where there's beer n wine stands and no kids and it turns out when you remove the families from a zoo everyone left is lesbians

throating it once or twice never hurt a friendship

*Buys cartons of Miiboros for resale in New York*

this is the restrained version of me. i could be much worse.

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

momentarily had the thought “shout out to my platonic harem” and then remembered that’s called friends

you may have noticed that my blog is disorganized and thematically incoherent and my tag game is weaker by the day. this is commentary on the chaos of modern existence

you say to me here is a woman. she's insane and irreparably broken and probably a danger to herself and others. and i say yay yippee woohoo! and things of this nature