Ben

The other day I was at the grocery store and when I was leaving the clerk said "Have an ice day! :)" and I asked "Don't you mean, 'have a nice day'?" and she said "No :)" and I walked outside and looked north and saw the horizon hidden behind mile-high walls of blue and white crystal twinkling like diamonds in the sunlight. A herd of mastodons trundled down the interstate, cracking the pavement and shaking the earth with their ponderous tread. A cold, dry wind blew.

it must be so freeing to be as stupid as a ceo. not a single thought echoing through that hollowed out skull. you get paid more money in 20 minutes than a handful of small countries make in a year combined to say the biggest number you can think of and if your company doesn’t hit that number you get to fire all of them

let’s be real the pressure to use AI as an adult is exactly what they said the pressure the do drugs as a teenager would be like but the people that told us that caved immediately for the AI and definitely did not just say no

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

[Image ID: Headline from IFLScience reading: "You Wouldn't Steal a Movie" Advert May Have Led To More People Stealing Movies /End ID]

Fun fact! Both the music and the font in that ad were incorrectly sourced and did not provide compensation to the creators

OH . I’m hungry because I didn’t eat . The most common cause of hunger

I think children should be allowed to vote their stepparent out of the home

"I asked chatgpt" YOU WILL OPEN GOOGLE AND TYPE IN YOUR QUESTION LIKE GOD INTENDED

gambling with angels is easy. they can't lie but they have addictive personalities; it's easy to clean them out then make them divulge secrets about the business of heaven to call your bets. my dad used to say "hey, watch this" and summon angels to play poker with him with a sort of bone flute he inherited from his grandpa, and they'd be holding horseshit and still want to call him. i'm talking "raise on a two pair" level bad at it, but they couldn't stop trying to win. my dad taught me all the secret names of God before i was out of grade school and i would use them to curse my enemies so they came down with leprosy. you can cure leprosy these days but it still sucks, especially for a child. but they had it coming for pissing me off

@i-make-images-moldy

@thisdastampdoesnotexist

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*