gunkmusher

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

"this doesn't make sense" open yiur eyes

Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.

Human determination: Man bikes 18 miles to work every morning because he wants to and not because he can’t afford a car and would be fired if he’s late.

Spirit of Brotherhood: Neighbors host housewarming party for elderly resident who doesn’t need help in paying rent because his pension is more than enough.

SO INSPIRING: Local middle school students bake dozens of cupcakes because their home economics class is doing a baking unit. Their school is fully funded with everything they need.

This feels like calibrating my normal detector

AU where the women in straight porn just grunt and say stuff like "take that big pussy, bitch" while the men scream and moan and convulse and arch their backs while shouting "Oh my god! You're wrecking my dick!"

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

Don't even have sex

Unless you and your partner(s) want to, in which case: do have sex!

Absolutely fucking not

Oh I didn't realize you were a designated pro-sex star trek blog that's my bad. Sorry.