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As much as I hate living I also hate being called worthless. I do believe that I am worth something- I believe I must live in this world in this time in this body for a reason. I believe there is a reason why I am me- and I feel that I am special but I don’t believe it. I know I can be something but to be something I have to start somewhere and I’m not ready for that. Maybe someday the suffering stops and I become the person I was made to be and I hope that person will have a great life full of happiness and peace. Till then I will have to wait. I don’t know what I’m waiting for or how long I will have to wait but as soon as I’m ready to be better I will know.

Living feels like a chore. I’m barley alive

I’m afraid I’m gonna be stuck in this room forever.

Im sick of being called selfish by people who don’t care.

Death is a beautiful thing. I don’t want to wait for it to happen to me. I’m gonna make sure it happens soon.

I beg for love, but I can’t love. Does that make sense?

When will people realise that I’m sick and this is not just some silly game I’m playing for some stupid attention. It’s not a game neither is it a phase. I’m sick. I’ve never been normal I’ve never felt normal I have always been sick and I can’t be helped. I have no future my life is meaningless. Everything I do or say is wrong. People say that I’ll get better but when? I have been like this for years. There is no hope. It would be better if everyone just kept their mouth shut and left me alone. Just leave me alone it’s not that hard.

I hate being myself why can’t I be anyone else?