Stone Cold Scorpio Bitch

shout out to the doctor who looked at my physical results and said 'you will live to 100!' and then looked at my mental health results and said '...if you want to'

i made up Star Trek to trick you guys

so now I'm gay for nothing?

now youre gay for nothing.

fagging out in these most treacherous of conditions

tumblr should add a "what the fuck are you talking about" button alongside reply, like, and reblog. you click the what the fuck are you talking about button when op is on some discourse they brought back from another reality that no one on this earth has ever heard of. and if a post gets more what the fuck are you talking abouts than reblogs op gets muted for 12 hours

we’re basically halfway through the year this is getting SERIOUS

You can lie when you name things

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

@massachusetts-official

nobody talks about how exhausting it is to live in that space between "things will get better" and "i can't handle this anymore." it's like your emotions are constantly swinging. leaving you both hopeful and defeated in the same day.

what they don’t tell you is you have to be so so careful when you listen to music because sometimes ☝️ it will reflect your experiences

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

quitting my job to be a full time upstairs neighbor. bowling balls are in the mail as we speak

Happy pride month to him

my only religious belief is that there is no afterlife except for the ublock origin team who are going to heaven and the youtube anti-adblock team who are going to hell