why would I recognize a flea?!

If you saw me recreationally vaccinating homeschooled children with blow darts then you should be thanking me, no? Relax a little. Blow darts are cool

You are just jealous of my ethical human safari

Not to brag but what a time to be childless

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

scooby doo taught us that the real monster was daphne for keeping a smooth talking limp wrist twunk like fred in a straight relationship when he was born to cruise literally designed to suck and fuck

Straight people can reblog this

stay vigilant. there are still people out there who will try to convince you that eating fruit is somehow bad for your body

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

I love when you see a woman in her thirties aging normally and being beautiful and not shooting her face with chemicals to make it tighten like a baked piece of ham