(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGRDCRuPklc)
LMAO I knew Rick wasn’t lying, it was too specfic a thing

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGRDCRuPklc)
LMAO I knew Rick wasn’t lying, it was too specfic a thing

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gonna google weird thing on the internet
how do you report google
Intermission scenes during Pikachu’s Vacation
they was talking real shit back then and i took it as a joke
You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.
Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous.
I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed. Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again. “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and… She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.” Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.
WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER
Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.

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If someone says “only God can judge me” I instantly judge them
Everyone thought it was socially acceptable for me to know about murder at a young age, but not sex. As a 19 year old, sex is a big feature in my life, but I’ve never killed a person.
I always tell myself a movie is too long to watch and end up binge watching a whole series
when I see a pretty girl and she is smoking I just think “what a waste”
South Park usually reports the news in a more unbiased and accurate way than most news stations

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i can’t believe ash ketchum got assassinated in the very first episode
Wtf is sephora
It sounds scary
isn’t that the guy with the long white hair from final fantasy
no your thinking of sephiroth, a sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels
No you’re thinking of a Seraph
A sephora is a second year college or high school student
No, you’re thinking of sophomore. A sephora is when you use your phone to take a picture of yourself.
no, you’re thinking of a selfie. a sephora is a calm breeze.
No, you’re thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those Greek vases with the two handles and the pictures.
You’re thinking of an amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on iOS devices.
You’re thinking of Safari. Sephora is an informal term for the seven-week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calendar.
You’re thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the Crystal Gems, training Pokemon, and/or assisting Steel to fight against time’s intrusions into our realm.
No, you’re thinking of sapphire. Sephora is actually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom.
No, you’re thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who lead the Israelites people out of Egypt.
No, you’re thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-lovin’.
No, you’re thinking of Sappho.
Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers.
You’re thinking of Zeppo. Sephora is the method of communicating from ship to ship via flags.
“I thought it would be fun to recreate a Pokémon Center from the main games and use it as a charging station for trainers to hang out and heal their power drained phones” - Spencer Kern
Source: businessinsider
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THIS IS THE LAST STRAW

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ICYMI: In which a 13-year-old boy comes out to his best friend via text message, and adorable unconditional support ensues. Ain’t nothing wrong with being gay, my friend. (via BuzzFeed)
what makes it more adorable is he offered to call when he knew something was wrong
I also love how often the word bro was used
This is the proper way to be a bro.
# how to bro 101
I am playing Pokemon Go since they are out in Germany. I visited few most popular PokeStops in city, and it looks like some trainers need more warnings beside being aware of surrounding