Been That Bitch. Still That Bitch.

And other ‘hate to love’ relationships.

These types of relationships can be some of the most interesting and enjoyable, both to read and write, because they show us many sides of the same characters and the growth from a hatred to mixed feelings and finally to genuine love and acceptance is often heartwarming to experience. But relationships like also require finesse to portray in a believable, healthy manner.

Before we begin, some ground rules: 

1. Stay away from abuse.

A hate to love relationship is not an “abuse to love” relationship, and none of these tips are aimed toward writing such a thing. Check this list for things to keep out of your healthy end-game relationships.

2. These characters need to be ‘ship-able’ already!

If your character would not naturally end up in the end-game relationship, you’ve got a problem. The character’s ability to be friends – shared interests, enjoyment of each other’s company, comparability in communication – is crucial for the transition from hate to love.

Now then, how do we set up this hate to love relationship? 

1. Examine why the characters hate each other.

There’s a slew of different reasons two characters might start out hating each other, including (but certainly not limited to):

They come from opposing sides of a war, feud, or have some other group-oriented dislike.

They have very bad first impressions of each other.

They already hold distasteful misconceptions about each other based on what trusted companions have told them.

One (or both) of them are acting or believing something the other has good reason to hate. 

In order to pull off the first part of the relationship – the hate – you have to both have a reason for the characters to hate each other and convince the reader that the reason is a good reason. 

Unless you’re writing in omnipresent, you’re telling the story through your character’s eyes. No matter how good their current ‘enemy’ may be on the inside, the pov character won’t be looking for that goodness. They’ll see all the flaws and turn offs they anticipate the character to have, and this will likely (hopefully) effect them on an emotional level the reader can connect with.

2. What needs to change for this hate to be repealed?

Use these as prompts, reference, or whatever else you’d like. I had fun making this list. 

Part 2 now published

Dialogue That’s Like a Love Letter

“It was always you.”

“Can you just hold my hand?”

“I love you in every possible way.”

“You are your own person. You are not mine. But I hope you will let me love you.”

“I wished every day to hold you once more.”

“You are a fountain of good fortune, my love.”

“Seeing your face is like drinking water after a lifetime in the desert.”

“There is something between us and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever felt.”

“If I could stay here with you forever, I would.”

“You had the deftness of a master thief when you stole my heart.”

“You are the first thing on my mind, the last thought before sleep, and my truest love.”

Dialogue That Tugs at Those Heart Strings

“You made me feel weak.”

“I didn’t mean to love you so much.”

“You were the only person I thought I could trust.”

“You promised you wouldn’t forget me.”

“I don’t have anyone else.”

“I thought you still loved me.”

“You never cared that you broke my heart.”

“It wasn’t supposed to end this way.”

“Please just stay with me. For one moment at least.”

“You’re leaving now?”

“You didn’t miss me at all?”

“I can’t love you anymore.”

“I wish I was sorry.”

“All these years and you decide to break my heart now?”

“Did I ever really matter to you?”

Dialogue That is Angry

“Admit that you’re wrong!”

“Do not compare yourself to me.”

“My hate for you runs deeper than your ego.”

“You left me!”

“You will never know how I feel.”

“Liar!”

“I wish you were dead.”

“You will regret this.”

“Get away from me!”

“I don’t know you anymore.”

Dialogue That is Sunshine and Smiles

“This is my favorite time of day.”

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Feel it, it’s soft.”

“He’s adorable, what’s his name?”

“Let’s take the long way home.”

“I know it’s early, but you have to see this sunrise.”

“Paint with me.”

“I love it. It’s amazing.”

“Look at those stars.”

Alternative words

Able

Adder

Adrian

Adriel

Aeron

Alec

Alto

Amos

Ansel

Atlas

Asaiah (As-A-ah, like Isaiah)

Baize

Balthasar

Barnabas

Bartholomew

Blaze

Boaz

Bonaventure

Cable

Callisto

Cassius

Cato

Caspian

Chandra

Chester

Corbin (Core-ben) -Also spelt Korbin

Cyrus

Damaris

Decimus

Dorrit

Dougal

Eagan

Ebenezer -Eben

Ephraim

Eobard

Eonian

Ewart

Flavius

Fillius

Firth

Gannon

Garvan

Gawen (Gaa-Win)

Gawain (Gah-way-nn)

Hadrian

Henrik

Ichabod

Jasper

Julius

Kalan

Kalgan

Laban

Leopold

Lenik

Madoc

Marcus

Matthias

Meckel

Mercer

Mercury

Misha

Nathaniel

Nehemiah

Nero

Noam

Orson

Otto

Persis

Phelan

Pike

Quinten

Quintus

Ragin

Romulus

Scipio

Septimus

Shamir

Silas

Slater

Solomon

Starling

Summed

Tahoe

Thaddeus

Themis

Tobias

Tolliver (Like Oliver)

Trias

Uhdel (You-del)

Uther

Valerian

Varick

Vittorio

Wyndon

Willem

Xabier

Xanthus

Ymir

Yannick

Zoran

Zafar

There you have it, sorry this took so long! 

Feel free to expand upon this list.

Ace (gender neutral)

Adalira Adelaide Adeline (“LINE” not “LYN”)

Aelia

Aelita

Aeolia

Aisha Alaska (gender neutral, Aly as a female nickname) Alchemy (female, Aly as a nickname) Alpha (gender neutral)

Alyeska (female, Aly as a nickname) Amari Amarilla Amery Amory Andromeda Anemone Anette Anice

Anila

Anitra Anona Aphrodite Apollo Aponi Aqua Aquamarine Aquila (female) Araceli Arctic (female) Argent (gender neutral) Aria Ariadne Arizona (gender neutral) Arlette

Arstelle Artemis Artisan (gender neutral, Zan as a nickname)

Asahi Ash/Ashes (male or female, on their own or as nicknames for Ashley or similar names) Ashanti Ashi Ashia Ashni Aster (gender neutral) Astra Astraea Astrid Astronomy (female) Athena Aubrey (gender neutral) Auburn (gender neutral) Aura Aurelia Aurora Autumn Avani Axis (gender neutral) Azalea Azure

Azurine (female)

Bluebell (female) Bluejay (gender neutral)

Canary Caster (gender neutral) Chell(e)/Chelley (pronounced “CH” not “SH” on it’s own or as a nickname for names like Chelsea, Rachel, or Michelle) Chemistry (female) Cherry (female) Cherry-Blossom (female) Chickadee (female) Chloe Cho (gender neutral) Chrysalis (female) Cleopatra Clover Copper (gender neutral)

Cora Cosmic (gender neutral) Cosmos (male) Cyan (gender neutral first name or as a surname)

Cyanne (female)

Cyrene (pronounced like “serene”) Daphne Deyanira (Nira for short) Dragon (as a male first name, female nickname, or a surname) Dragonfly (female first name, Dragon for short)

Eagle (male) Ebony Electric (male, Rick as a nickname) Electricity (female, Tris as a nickname) Elvi Ember

Emeleen Emeline

Emelyn Emerald Emery Eris Esther Estrella Evening (female, Eve for short) Falcon (male)

Faline Fauna Fawn

Fay(e)line

Felicia Fiery (female) Fire (gender neutral) Firebird (female) Firefly (female) Forest (gender neutral) Fox (gender neutral) Fuchsia Galaxy (female) Gemini (gender neutral) Genevra Ginger Hawaii (female) Hawk (male) Honey (female) Hoshi (gender neutral) Idalia Imogen Inanna Indigo (female) Indira Indy/Indie/Indiana (gender neutral)

Ilena

Iria Iris Irony (female) Isis (thanks for ruining it terrorists!) Ivory Ivy Jade Jasmine

Irina

Ivina

Jericho

Jinora Jupiter (female, Mila Kunis and Makoto Kino wore it way better than the king of the gods) Kalani (female)

Kira Kitsune (as a female first name or surname) Kokiri/Kiri/Koki (female first name) Kori Korra

Laria

Laser (gender neutral on its own or as a nickname for Lazarus) Lava (female) Lavender Laz (as a nickname for Lazarus)

Leia Leona

Leila

Leora

Levi

Levia

Liberty (female, Libby for short) Libra (female, Libby for short) Lightning (gender neutral) Lilac

Lilybell

Lina Link Lion (male)

Lioness (female)

Livia Lynx (gender neutral) Lyra Mace (male) Madeline (“LINE” not “LYN”) Magic (female)

Magenta (female) Mahogany (female) Margo(t) Marigold Marisol

Meadow Melancholy (female) Midna Midnight (female) Mina Minerva Ming Mint/Minty (female) Mira

Morning Glory (female)

Mouse (female) Muse (female) Music (female) Mystery (female)

Naava Naiad (female) Nasa (female) Nature (female) Nebula Neko (gender neutral) Nella

Neomia

Neon (gender neutral) Nessie (female) Nexus (female, Nex as a nickname) Night (gender neutral) Nimbus (gender neutral) Nina Nisha

Noir

Noira (female, pronounced “nor”)

Noiranne (female, pronounced “nor”)

Noireen (female, pronounced as either “nwar” or “nor”)

Noirella (female, pronounced “nwar”)

Noirelle(female, pronounced “nwar”)

Noirette(female, pronounced as either “nwar” or “nor”)

Noiria (female, pronounced as either “nwar” or “nor”)

Noirianne (female, pronounced as either “nwar”)

Noirina  (female, pronounced as either “nwar”)

Nora Nova (female) Nubia Nymph (female) Ocean (female) Ocelot (gender neutral) Octave (male) Octavia

Olympia

Opal

Opaline Ophelia

Orana

Orchid Orion

Padme

Pegasus (gender neutral) Pepper (female) Peppermint (female) Persephone Phoenix (gender neutral, with Nick, Nikki, and Nix as nicknames) Pixie (female) Pizazz (female, Zaz/Zazz/Zazzy as nicknames) Polaris (female) Poppy Raav (male) Raava (female) Rabbit (gender neutral) Rav (gender neutral) Ravee Ravi (gender neutral)

Ravindira (female, combination of “Rav/Ravi” which means “sun” and “Indira” which means “beauty” to create “Beautiful Sun” Ravindra (gender neutral)

Rayette Red (gender neutral) Redwood (male) Ree/Ri/Rie (female)

Ren

Reylia

Rock (male) Rocket (gender neutral) Rockette Rouge

Runa

Saber (as a male first name or as a nickname for Sabrina) Saria Science (gender neutral) Scorpion (male) Scorpius (male) Seabreeze (female) Seashell (female) Secret (female) Selkie (female) Seven (female) Shanti Shayera Shiri Shiva (female) Siren (female, Ren as a nickname)

Sitara Snake (male) Snapdragon (as a female first name or surname) Snow (female)

Solina Space (gender neutral) Spacey (female) Starla Starlight (female)

Solina

Soline

Starline

Starlene

Starshine (female first name or surname) Sterling (male) Stone (male) Storm (male) Stormy (female) Sugar (female) Sun (gender neutral) Sunbeam (female) Sunflower (female) Sunshine (female) Swan (female) Teal (gender neutral) Thunder (male) Tigerlily Tippi Topaz (gender neutral first name or surname) Turquoise (female) Twilight (female) V (gender neutral) Valentine (as a gender neutral first name, it’s already loved as a surname) Vanilla (female, Nilla as a nickname) Vee (female)

Venita Vi (female)

Vina Violin (female) Vix (gender neutral) Vixen Vixi (female) Volcano (male) Vortex (gender neutral) Wolf (male) Xan (gender neutral, on its own or as a nickname for Xander or Alexander/Alexandria) Xander Xenia Zaira Zan (on its own or as a nickname) Zarzuela (female) Zee (gender neutral) Zelda Zero (gender neutral) Zeta (female) Zeus

Zo-Anne/ZoAnne/Zoanne Zuko

Character Names ↠ Throne of Glass

but then Christianity found out about it and were like “Fucking???? outside of marriage????? NO NO NO!!!” and decided it was a horrible terrible bad unlucky day and you need to be super careful of everything you do in case you die or some shit.

DAILY INSPIRATION:

Revelation comes from the Latin word revelare and means to lay bare. It is a drawing back of the curtain and opening the mind to truths about what it means to be human in the world. As humans, we often seek revelations about how we should be in the world. Whether we are seeking meaning and structure in our lives or just what we should do in the next few hours, we seek patterns that reveal truths. This revelatory tea, made from hibiscus and cinnamon, can elevate your thoughts and help you see your way more clearly.

You Will Need

Hibiscus (dried)

Cinnamon (a crushed nib off a cinnamon stick)

Tea cup and saucer

Pen and paper

Preparation If it is part of your practice, cast a circle. As you sit with your ingredients before you, centre yourself. Ground yourself in the present moment by focusing on your breath, the sensations of your body, and your connection to the earth.  

Casting Begin by placing a pinch of hibiscus and a smidge of cinnamon in the bottom of a tea cup. Next, set a kettle to boil. When the water has reached a low boil pour the water over the hibiscus and cinnamon and allow it to steep for no less than ten minutes and no more than fifteen.

While waiting for the hibiscus tea to steep, write your question, concern, or dilemma down. You may wish to make notes underneath your question of any key facts, people, or dates that will impact your choices. Then consider the different angles and approaches you could take; what are the potential consequences and what could you gain? Contemplate your question and propose multiple solutions. You may find your mind wanders during this process and that is okay; when you notice your attention has shifted gently draw it back.

After the tea has steeped, hold the cup before you and recite the following three times with intent:

Consider my situation Give to me a revelation

Drink the tea, allowing your thoughts to settle like the leaves in the cup. Leave a very small amount of liquid in the cup. Then take the cup by the handle in your left hand and give it three swift circles. Be sure to move it in a deocil (sunwise, clockwise) direction. You will see the leaves shift and cling to the cup. Next, invert the cup over the saucer and allow the remaining tea water to run out. Then set the cup before you and look at leaves, opening your mind and imagination to what you see. Look for patterns and images. Perhaps, you see a bell, a bird, a letter, or a number. Record on your paper the images you see and write down what they might represent and how it applies to your situation.

After you have considered these things, set the paper aside and allow the revelation to steep in you like the herb steeped in the water. When the time is right your mind will settle on a way forward and you will be able to proceed.

Example

Potential Images

Bell: warning, anticipated news

Wand: creative action

Bird: forward movement (when flying) or luck (when roosting)

Heart: listen to your emotions and relationships

Moon: seek wisdom, draw on your strength

Serpent: deception, flattery

Triangle: change

Sweet:

Vengeful:

Strong:

Emotional:

Magickal: