bee.knee.exe

Realized I never posted this here. Yippee ki yay

I've started myself on a journey. It started as a joke. It was a bit. A gag with some buddies at work whose genesis was in what we lovingly refer to as "speedrunning wikipedia". If anyone out there in the void ever comes across this post which I am throwing out into the void of the internet; let me explain, just in case you're unfamiliar. First, open up Wikipedia. Hit the random page button. Open a new tab and open some kind of random word generator. The goal is to see how fast you can go from the random page Wikipedia gave you to the random word the generator gave you. Or, you can just choose two at random. The cheese adventure began in this way- a coworker sent me the Wikipedia page for Epanalepsis. Epanalepsis is not the point of this story, so I shall not worry you with what Epanalepsis is. (if you get it, you get it.)

Anyways. Speedrun. Cheese. Back on topic.

He sent me this link, and I, lacking serotonin and the willpower to stay focused but having my secret superpowers- autism and ADHD, decided the only logical thing to do with this link was to find out how many pages away from Epanalepsis the page for "cheese" was. The answer shook me to my core and has, very dramatically speaking, changed the course of my life forever. (Someday I'll write about how my unhealthy obsession with the film Ratatouille lead me to obsessing over cheese. No, it is not because Rat Eat Cheese.)

Epanalepsis is only four pages away from cheese. Epanalepsis -> figure of speech -> pun -> Pinky and the Brain -> Cheese.

He, a scholar like myself, immediately began his own research, this time moving from the page for the first Mexican elected president, Guadalupe Victoria to the page for cheese. In this case, our charted path is as followed; Guadalupe Victoria -> Oaxaca -> Oaxaca Cheese -> Cheese. Ever since, it has become a common office activity. With the frivolity, however, has come a deep craving for cheese... and so, I began buying a fancy cheese a week so I can taste a bunch of cheese while I speed run between random Wiki pages to cheese.

You know. As you do.

So now that I've set the scene as if this was a recipe blog post, lemme tell you 'bout these cheeses. But in short form- so realistically, I've just set you all up for grand disappointment. There will be no long-form writing about these cheeses; instead, there will simply be a brief description. I'm really only writing these for myself.

Caramella - This cheese is from Boar's Head. It's an 12 month aged gouda with a parmesan twist. It's incredible. It's sharp, nutty, a bit fruity, and is now my favorite cheese of all time. I have very little to say other than I want some Caramella right now.

Point Reyes Toma This one's from Farmstead Cheese Co. It's buttery, creamy, soft, gooey. Truly delightful. The internet tells me I should try this cheese after it's been put on the grill- but I can't even imagine something this soft not just melting straight through the grill. If this post ever reaches someone with professional cheese preparation skills- how the hell do I grill a soft cheese? (Or am I being incredibly stupid, and was it saying grilled cheese as in the sandwich? Help.)