great wizzard

Girl said she’d let me see her DDs but when I got to her house she just had her shirt off and she didn’t even have a ps2 let alone a copy of digital devil saga. Waste of my damn time

locusts are SO fucked up. imagine if your apartment complex got too crowded during a drought so everyone in it started overproducing serotonin until they gained 100lb of pure muscle and then chewed through the drywall of every building in the neighborhood

they do this over in philly

Hey so last night I was really drunk and I inverted your dog. yeah he's now everything he once wasn't, and no part of him is retained from his former self. But you can see glimpses of what he once was in the reflection of what he's become so thats cool.

Turning dog gravity off so they all get whisked away

i'm still mad they killed E3. if they're gonna release a string of commercials the least they could do to get me to watch is to perform a self-humiliation ritual of their c-suite executives on stage try to seem cool. They don't even wear gamer T-shirt and blazer anymore.

this lamb keeps trying to sacrifice itself even though no one really needs or wants it to do that

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her