oh my god

Nightcore

this is a gerrymandered district

the sims in fast forward mode

this is the point the berenstein and berenstain universes are reconverging

what if you could @everyone on tumblr

i think some sunglasses company is doing that rn

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

Hasn’t quite mastered humaning yet.

They really asked the president to say 'Nazis are bad' and he fucking wouldn't, huh

*watching dj khaleds snapchat* me: here we go Dj khaled: lets go see what we gon have for breakfast today Both of us at the same time: chicken sausage, egg whites, and water.. key to success