Jaqueline/Gemma!

He knows what he is doing

Hal 9000 (domesticated)

The slab

Gas cans

Precambrian little guy

Nintendo wii

According to my mom and sister the very first thing i did upon waking up was BOLT upright and proceed to try and shove my ENTIRE fist in my mouth as fast as possible.

I had to be physically stopped, and i proceeded to sob my eyes out for the next 20 minutes. Somehow, i didnt damage anything 🤣

sorry that imagery is so vivid i just..

This might seem weird but...

Try not to feel pressured to come out if you don't feel it's safe to do so!

Recently, we have made great strides in progress for gender equality, and lgbtqa rights, and in many aspects parallel of those. That's great!

As a result, for many people, the visibility of their identities have made it easier to come out, and many people are now encouraged to come out to normalize non-binary gender identity.

However, I get the feeling that many people for whom it is not feasible to come out, not safe to do so, or if they're simply not ready, there is an unfair pressure to perform this 'coming out' ritual to validate themselves. As if they're not 'REALLY' gay, or bi, or trans, or nonbinary until they announce it on all social media and call up their relatives to 'do the paperwork'.

And I think that's frankly bullshit.

Coming out is not a one-and-done deal. It's a tedious process that never ends. My closest friends know I'm nonbinary - but many of my coworkers don't. My family doesn't - and I don't feel it's necessary to tell them.

Your identity should be yours, and what you do with it should be up to you. Just like any other aspect of yourself, it doesn't need to be public any more than you personally feel is necessary, and you shouldn't have to expose parts of your life you would prefer to keep private.

When and if you're ready to tell the world, it should be a joyous and comfortable occasion, not something you're forced into through peer pressure.

the idea of living in the same place, or jointly bringing up children, and performing many other tasks as a kind of unit that society would often mislabel as something done by two romantic partners in a union of some kind (i use that term to loosely define an exclusive relationship, not actual binding marriage, though this can include such). the idea of the QPR isn’t just “friends”, it’s very specifically “individuals in a platonic relationship that perform a number of the social aspects of a traditional romantic partnership”.

like, be real for a second. if someone described their relationship with someone to you and said “Yeah we own a house together, we have a kid that we adopted and take care of, we decided to get a dog last week and we file taxes as two members of the same household.”, you wouldn’t look at that person and assume that they arent romantic/sexual partners of some kind, because... well, traditionally, that’s shit that married people do. getting hit with the additional “Yup! And we’re not romantically or sexually involved at all! She has a boyfriend that she visits on the weekends and I’ve never had a romantic relationship in my life.” would throw you for a goddamn loop! What would you even call that relationship? and that’s where the term comes from: an attempt to define a very specific kind of relationship that certainly can and has existed, but isn’t commonly recognized or talked about!

Romantic relationships are a tangled up knot of things that can be untangled if you want to. There’s sex, there’s romance, and there’s partnership/social couplehood, like this is talking about. Any of those can be separated. You can have partnership without romantic love, or romantic love without being a social couple. You can have sex without romance or romance without sex. (Well, some people can anyways.) Any of those can be taken together or pulled apart.

Friendships are lovely, meaningful, and sometimes transformative. They’re also not generally socially respected on the same level as family or even as non-married romantic partners: if you go to a wedding with a friend, people assume you couldn’t get a date. Being part of a couple is privileged and socially reinforced, especially when a couple is legally married but even for unmarried couples, in a way that friendship is not. Having a breakup, even if you’d fallen out of love a long time ago, is seen as an event that automatically requires social support and sympathy in a way that a friendship ending does not.

I’ve been in multiple situations where I very much wanted to tie my life to another person in a couple-like way, whether romance was involved or not. I’ve pretty much given up on trying to have that kind of thing though, because 1. the other person never seemed to be interested in me to the same degree that I was interested in them, and 2. even if they had, nobody else would recognize what we had as a partnership.

“So a group of friends?” Go fuck yourself.

This pisses me right off, and I can’t imagine how much more frustrating this is for people who don’t have conventional sexual/romantic relationships as a viable alternative because the way they relate to people just doesn’t work like that.

Sigh. For what it’s worth, some of us don’t have any an initial “I don’t get it” that we need to overcome, we already get that the romantic/sexual/social knot doesn’t actually have to remain tied.

(I mean, it’s ok for anyone where that was your first reaction too, it’s ok to not know things. But, just saying, this isn’t actually rocket science or some completely alien and incomprehensible concept either.)

I suspect some people are going to read this and not understand my level of anger. So let me explain it this way. I’m a woman. (Sort of.) I’m bisexual. Let’s say for the sake of argument I have a homophobic family (which I don’t) and when I had a crush on a man they’d take it really seriously and encourage me, but when I had a crush on a woman they’d...just kind of not talk about it or be “oh, but you can be friends, right?” and “how’s that friend of yours doing?” If I was pissed as hell about that, it would make sense right, and you’d get that my anger had nothing to do with how I see friendship?

This is not any different.

People don’t do that when someone makes a friend.

you a bitch

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