In the Depths of Canada, Perusing The Internet

Can you imagine being stuck in space completely alone with only the corpses of your friends for company, and the first living thing you meet after 46 years of that misery is a fucking weird alien creature who just rolls up with crazy advanced tech and goes "hi let's work together" and makes it possible for you to save your world through the power of friendship and molecular biology. AND THEN you find out that in this creature's language, its name means "mercy". Happened to my good friend Rocky btw

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

seconding these tags by @ragsy: #if the social consciousness has decided that duckduckgo is the Only Othet Search Engine#might i suggest 'go duck yourself'

I just think, based on the way Ilya had his hand down his pants for the entirety of the Boston conversation, that after he and Shane are settled in their relationship his relaxation always includes somewhat inappropriate Shane touching. They're watching a movie with Shane resting on his chest? Ilya's hand is on his bare ass, fingers playing along the crease where his butt becomes his thigh, occasionally lifting the cheek and letting it go just to feel it jiggle. Shane's on the couch reading? Ilya's crawling between his legs and resting his head in the crease of his thigh. Shane's cuddled up with his back against Ilya's chest? Ilya's hand is resting on that man's cock. It's not necessarily sexual, it's not consciously possessive (although it is subconsciously possessive in that Shane's body is his to touch in whatever way he wants), that's just how he's most comfortable.

Meanwhile, Shane Oral Fixation Hollander always has some part of Ilya in his mouth. So they're cuddled up, Ilya's right hand on Shane's ass, the left one in his mouth and it's become so normal that neither one of them gives it a second thought. There's definitely a time or two where they accidentally do it around other people, like they're watching a scary movie with the Pikes and don't realise that Shane's had two of Ilya's fingers in his mouth for the past ten minutes until Hyden catches it out of the corner of his eye and goes "dude, what the fuck??" or they're heading back with the Cens after a series of away games and they're cuddled up on the plane, both half asleep, when Ilya's hand just makes its way down Shane's pants to rest in the crease of his groin and when Troy says "Roz, you'll be home in like two hours, can't that wait?" neither one of them realises what he's even referring to.

i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanov’s permission…? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. “what if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like “hollander……..you saved my life 🥺” and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldn’t fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each other’s arms afterwards. because there’s only one bed in my apartment and he’s too tall for the couch” stuff like that. normal fantasies

[hockey bro voice] does he. you know. play for ottawa?

thinking about shane and ilya at some nhl alumni event years in the future….their relationship is old news and literally no one bats an eyelash at them anymore plus they’re staying in some penthouse suite where nobody can hear them but anyway ilya is fucking shane through the mattress and covers his mouth with one hand like “shush hollander you’re going to get us caught” and shane comes so hard he blacks out

There's a Chinese meme that the Yellow River doesn't need rituals to present sacrifices because if it's hungry it'll come onto the shore and eat the sacrifices itself.

People talk about how the Great Lakes are deadly because they are uncaring, but the Yellow River is literally out to get everyone.

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal