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noise dept.
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@mala-taste
Hello! I got your message and I’ll respond shortly — I’m currently in the middle of eating a Peach, which is a delicate operation and thus I cannot type right now. Hope you understand!

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if you were “groomed” if you ever like sex afterwards it is because you are “crashing out” and “desperate for control” not just like having a human sexual drive like literally anyone else. i really respect victims and don’t think of them as sadly and fundamentally and pathologically broken
i do think the negative interpretations of "im probably nonbinary but i have a job right now" are kind of reaching. it's obviously a waste of time to theorize the op's intended meaning, so instead i think it's better to recognize how the phrase can be a useful framing device to criticize how much of a fucking hassle it is to get gendered correctly. "but i have a job" e.g. will face discrimination that could threaten livelihood; e.g. don't have the mental bandwidth to explain gender to others; e.g. don't have the time and energy for the soul-searching necessary to confirm. all three of these are labor issues. yes you could interpret it as "but being nonbinary isn't important enough to worry about", despite that being a blatantly bad-faith read. it's more useful to interpret it as "but being publicly nonbinary requires a lot of social effort that, in many cultural contexts, will create more problems that you can't afford to deal with". like cmon it's a really good jumping off point for productive conversations about queer labor rights
the fact fandom as a whole can be built out of seperate yet overlapping “migratory” fanbases that move from canon to canon in search of specific itches being scratched is revelatory of the underlying emotional structures of fannish engagement for many people, which is fundamentally derivative in the sense that it is about obsession. it is about getting that same itch scratched over and over. like sex, or desire. it is about iterative desire in form or structure, as so much of fannish content is about desire. if it’s working on you you will never get tired of it and will always want more. if it isn’t it’s baffling how it could be doing it for anyone. it is basic to the enterprise in a way that means the criticisms that fandom is often derivative or unoriginal has always struck me as off-base on multiple levels. i also like fandom and fic as a ground for expansive creative exploration free of the demands of the wage, but that has never been what everyone is getting out of it, or the only thing i myself get out of it. and assuming it is, or should be, and these repetitions that are likely to strike those not in the loop of desire as dull undifferentiated slop are deviations from what could or should be a more noble intellectual pursuit is naive and means you will never really get anywhere in analyzing fandom.
(popular leftist voice) these right wingers are so mad because they get no women. if you are a Good Person a woman will appear and suck your dick.
(popular leftist voice) these right wingers are all sooo poorrrr and stupid. They are stupid because they are poorrrr, racism would never exist in my suburban area
Popular leftist voice: these right wingers must have brain damage. They must be bigots because they are literally reta suffering from blsck mold, or brain damage.
Popular leftist voice: Every single right-wing person is literally so ugly and chopped, let me point out their exact features and how they're ugly. Having bad thoughts literally ages you. Good People are always hot and sexy and have kind countenances.

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the two of them are insane together. Sam blew me away with the layers of panic and shame and horror and fear and sheer vulnerability he put into Lestat's breakdown, that was agonizing.
The expression on his face as he's clinging to Louis and looking at the camera over his arm!
I've said it a couple of weeks ago and I'll say it again: I love the way everything else happening this season is histrionic, overly dramatized, almost caricature-ish sludge, and then every time Louis shows up he's like the eye of the hurricane - he's so painfully cool, and there's this sense of calm that suddenly permeates the show when he's on it, like he's Lestat's safe place, some sort of cool balm smeared on a burn. He's also the only one who's fully kept his voice from the first two seasons, and the only one who's kept the naturalistic acting, while pretty much everyone else shows up as a bit of a caricature filtered through Lestat's POV, their voices warped and flattened to reflect Lestat's speaking style and sense of humor. This creates this incredible, striking contrast whenever Louis appears that really hammers in the way Lestat feels about him.
And then when Lestat is with Louis and Sam is acting against Jacob, his acting style also becomes more expressive and naturalistic and less caricature-ish, like Louis and the relationship that Lestat has with him are the only real and honest things in this world, and Louis's voice and mannerisms are the only things Lestat can't forget or fake or warp to fit his narrative.
I just think it's really neat!
Jacob Anderson and his chemistry with Sam Reid absolutely carrying this whole fucking show this season. It was a delight to see this much Jacob on screen.
🐺 ... via @/backsdoors on Twitter
(bonus softer channie gif below)
i am terminally A Sucker for characters who have a towering and generally earned ego about their own ability and absolutely no self-worth about themselves as a person at all. intoxicating combo.
The Ojibwe nailed it. Wawa is exactly the right name for a goose.
Speaking of Ojibwe! There’s a new point and click game to help teach the language! It’s called Reclaim! Azhe-giiwewining, and is currently on sale on Steam!

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Redemption arc not because you did something bad but because of the years you spent not doing something good
When the thing the character needs to be redeemed from is passivity >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I'm special and morally pure and have identities that mean I can do no wrong
it's categorically impossible for me to be racist or sexist or ableist or transphobic because I'm a mixed race trans woman with ADHD. also I think that we should kill homeless people because they're morally wrong for not having a home
I won't be finishing my PhD.
I gambled and lost.
I went to UTSA knowing they were only going to provide funding until I completed my coursework. The gamble was that I hoped I could get additional funding when it was clear I had stellar grades, knew what I was doing, and had a slam dunk dissertation already worked out.
They didn't care.
So, I had to find a job after my dissertation proposal defense or be out on the street. And I discovered that with my ADHD and working a regular 40 hour a week job in front of a computer leaves me exhausted and too burned out to do much of anything else.
I thought I could chip away at the dissertation after I somehow managed to get a Wenner-Gren grant and do my fieldwork in 2024. But I don't get paid enough to continue to pay for tuition and Trump's Department of Education put a restriction on financial aid for repeat credits including dissertation writing credits. UTSA is still unwilling to provide support so I can work less and finish the dissertation.
I no longer have access to university resources or software anymore after going on a leave of absence last fall. My advisor has not contacted me since I went on the leave of absence last fall despite a promise of regular updates. I have no family close by. My only friends are the ones I made at work. I am, quite simply, not in a situation to allow me to succeed.
It isn't official yet, but my department said that if I don't register for credits in the fall they will drop me from the program.
I thought you all should know, especially the ones that have been with me since I started this blog all those years ago.
That’s fair enough (on your end. For shame to your uni). Being neurodivergent and doing grad school is hard. I did an MA program and was certain that I would do a doctoral program. But the constantly shifting Dept of Ed rules for loans, forgiveness, etc, combined with my own neurodivergence and needing employer medical insurance for disabilities meant that it kept pushing a PhD further and further away for me. I found a job where I could do near-enough to what I wanted to get a PhD for without the 80,000 additional debt and breaking myself down. It sucks that you were forced to be in this position. Higher education was built for neurotypical, cis het white men who were not disabled in any way, and if we go back far enough it was designed only for the wealthy land owners. Forward progress in higher education is at a snail’s pace, if ever. (I speak as someone working as both an academic advisor and adjunct professor). The game is rigged, so there is no shame in tapping out for your own mental and financial wellbeing.
i dont think its a "sin" to "destroy and betray yourself for nothing" because there's no such thing as sin, there's no such thing as yourself and there's no such thing as nothing. and destruction and betrayal are subjective. you're most likely totally fine.
no post has ever altered my brain chemistry as much as "can only you see the time being?"
in case you're not familiar:

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Bro absolutely COOKED with this.
If you ever hear the phrase "fascism is aesthetics as politics," that's what this post is talking about.
It's not about being tough on crime, because the absolute toughest most brutal measure you could take against "crime" as a social problem is to alleviate poverty, and increase access to education, healthcare and social mobility.
It's about performing "tough on crime" as an aesthetic by enacting violence against a prop, i.e. minorities and the impoverished, who are fetishized and objectified to represent "crime." They are brutalized as punishment for crime, but never with the purpose of alleviating the problem of crime.
This is why a lot of conservatives and other right wingers can get straight up angry when you suggest things like reform or social measures to reduce crime. They don't want crime to be reduced, they want an eternal war against "crime" because it provides an arena for the righteous to demonstrate virtue by brutalizing their enemies.
Truncated text of tweet from MrPitBull, Mar 11, 2026:
She kept finding women in laboratory photographs from the 1800s. Then she read the published papers—and every single woman had vanished. Someone had erased them from history.
Yale University, 1969.
Margaret Rossiter was a graduate student studying the history of science. She was one of very few women in her program.
Every Friday afternoon, students and faculty gathered for beers and informal conversation. One week, Margaret asked a simple question: "Were there ever any women scientists?"
The faculty answered firmly: No.
Someone mentioned Marie Curie. The group dismissed it—her husband Pierre really deserved the credit.
Margaret didn't argue. But she also didn't believe them.
So she started looking.
She found a reference book called "American Men of Science"—essentially a Who's Who of scientific achievement. Despite the title, she was shocked to discover it contained entries about women. Botanists trained at Wellesley. Geologists from Vermont.
There were names. There were credentials. There were careers.
The professors had been wrong.
But Margaret's discovery was just the beginning. Because as she dug deeper into archives across the country, she found something far more disturbing.
Photograph after photograph showed women standing at laboratory benches, working with equipment, listed on research teams.
But when she read the published papers, the award citations, the official histories—those same women had disappeared. Their names were missing. Their contributions erased.
It wasn't random. It was systematic.
Women who designed experiments watched male colleagues publish results without giving them credit. Women whose discoveries were assigned to supervisors. Women listed in acknowledgments instead of as authors. Women passed over for awards that went to male collaborators who contributed far less.
Margaret realized she was witnessing a pattern that stretched across centuries.
Women had always been present in science. The record had simply pushed them aside.
She needed a name for what she was documenting.
In the early 1990s, she found it in the work of Matilda Joslyn Gage—a 19th-century suffragist who had written about this exact phenomenon in 1870.
In 1993, Margaret published a paper formally naming it: The Matilda Effect.
The term captured something that had been hidden in plain sight for generations. Once you knew the term, you saw it everywhere.
Her dissertation became a lifelong mission.
For more than 30 years, Margaret researched and wrote her landmark three-volume series: Women Scientists in America. She examined letters, institutional policies, individual careers. She gathered undeniable evidence that women in science had been consistently under-credited and structurally excluded.
Her work faced resistance. Many dismissed women's history as political rather than academic. Others insisted she was exaggerating.
Margaret didn't argue emotionally. She presented data. Documented cases. Patterns repeated across decades and institutions.
Eventually, the evidence became undeniable.
Her research helped restore recognition to scientists who had been erased:
Rosalind Franklin, whose X-ray work revealed DNA's structure—credit went to Watson and Crick.
Lise Meitner, who explained nuclear fission—omitted from the Nobel Prize.
Nettie Stevens, who discovered sex chromosomes—received little credit.
Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin, who discovered stars are made of hydrogen—initially dismissed.
And countless others whose names had nearly vanished.
Margaret changed the narrative. Science was no longer just the story of solitary male geniuses. It became a story of collaboration that included women who had been written out.
The Matilda Effect became standard terminology. Scholars used it to examine how credit is assigned, how authors are listed, who receives awards, who gets left out.
This is an important concept, but the piece is written by AI.
There are a number of tells, but this is an excellent example to talk about em-dashes, which people often either take as permanent AI tells or run the other way and say "humans use em-dashes and that's why AI does, too! they're not tells!" Both are kind of right and both are kind of wrong.
What you'll see if you look closely at this text is that it ONLY uses em-dashes. Every time it needs to put in some kind of break or set off some text, it goes for the em-dash. There are no phrases in parentheses. There are commas, but only in places where the absolute rule is to use a comma (like in a series, for instance). There is one colon, again placed where the absolute rule is to use at (at the top of a list). Whenever there's an option, where a human writer would be actively making a choice about what punctuation to use, the AI defaults to an em-dash.
On top of that, look at the content. The AI bot people are obsessed with feminism, ironically. I suspect it's because very basic feminist narratives about women pushing back against barriers or doing something heroic are popular and gets shared widely. So, first of all, you should be on your guard when you see a "what this woman did CHANGED HISTORY!" kind of piece. (I wonder if the twitter/tumblr trend of BUCKLE UP history posts has affected the AI ...) And then you should check out the specific claims.
She kept finding women in laboratory photographs from the 1800s. Then she read the published papers—and every single woman had vanished. Someone had erased them from history.
I can't find this anywhere else. The paper "The Matthew Matilda Effect in Science" doesn't talk about photos! The Wikipedia page doesn't talk about photos! This Smithsonian article doesn't talk about photos! Her piece on her career in Writing and Revising the Disciplines (2002) (good read) DOES mention photos, in that she got the Mount Holyoke archivist to send her a few from the 1880s showing women doing scientific work as a nice illustration that "epitomized" what she was already aware of.
Rossiter started with textual primary sources that documented women as named individuals contributing to scientific discoveries. The idea of her being confused by photos is a hallucination.
Despite the title, she was shocked to discover it contained entries about women. Botanists trained at Wellesley. Geologists from Vermont.
There's definitely something to be said about the framing of this bit as shocking!!! but since I'm talking about facts and sources, it's clear to me that the AI recognized the botany-Wellesley connection from the paper but could not parse that the reference was to a female botanist who taught at Wellesley. There is also nothing in the paper about Vermont geologists, so I have no idea where the AI got that; I would suspect it's another hallucination attempting to create a pattern from the first reference.
But Margaret's discovery was just the beginning. Because as she dug deeper into archives across the country, she found something far more disturbing. Photograph after photograph showed women standing at laboratory benches, working with equipment, listed on research teams. But when she read the published papers, the award citations, the official histories—those same women had disappeared. Their names were missing. Their contributions erased.
Again, back to the mysterious photographs. But the rest of this text is an issue as well: what Rossiter describes in the paper is not a complete absence of these women in any official documentation, but that these women were amply documented and known to be working within the scientific community and yet did not receive public credit or awards. It's not a complete smothering out, but a sort of complacent back-burnering, which is too nuanced for the AI to be able to handle when told to "write a post about the Matilda effect that will get engagement on social media". She didn't prove that discoveries attributed to male authorship actually had women involved and only she knew their names: she collected many stories that people already knew of overlooked/underplayed female scientists and put them together to say, "This is a pattern and we should have a name for it." Some of her examples were even recent enough (1970s-80s) that she was able to point to a feminist backlash.
And again ironically, the AI itself engages in the Matilda Effect by presenting this whole thing as utter silence -> Rossiter gets curious -> the case is blown open. Rossiter actually refers to the work of other female historians and social scientists! In fact, she started this line of research after noticing the female biographies in American Men of Science when her housemate, Cynthia Thompson, recommended that she keep track of them.
Her research helped restore recognition to scientists who had been erased: Rosalind Franklin, whose X-ray work revealed DNA's structure—credit went to Watson and Crick. Lise Meitner, who explained nuclear fission—omitted from the Nobel Prize. Nettie Stevens, who discovered sex chromosomes—received little credit. Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin, who discovered stars are made of hydrogen—initially dismissed. And countless others whose names had nearly vanished.
Rossiter did not claim to be rediscovering these women. She refers to Franklin and Meitner as having been famously denied credit, in fact! Meitner specifically is "one of the best-known examples of the phenomenon". Stevens she uses as one in the list of examples in the paper, and Payne-Gaposchkin actually just gets a reference at the end that's doesn't even tell you the specific field of scientific study. (To be fair, there may be more about them in her other publications.) This was not about Badass Historian of Science Tells the Establishment What's What. Everybody knew about the concept of female scientists being publicly ignored as collaborators by 1993 — and women's history as a field had been around for 15-20 years. She was not working in a vacuum where nobody else thought that it was important to study these topics until she forced them to see the light.
Please, please, everyone, be on the lookout for bad feminist history written by AI. If you're not with me on the tells and hallucinations here, then at least be on the lookout for bad "feminist" history regardless of the source. If it sounds like it's sensationalizing, it probably is.