bow is a gift

so, a little backstory. first off, this fic was partially inspired by an art piece i saw done by @artofkace it’s gorgeous, go check them out. but this is also a way for me to vent. in this fic, glimmer is struggling to let herself feel emotions and let herself come to grips with angella’s death. and i’m in the same situation. my dad is currently in the hospital, for a long list of things. liver disease, pneumonia, internal bleeding, blood thinning, low sodium levels. it’s a lot, and to be honest, i don’t know how much long he’s got. i guess writing this helped me vent. so anyways, thanks to anyone who read this little schpeel. And if any of you ever need someone to listen to you vent, i’m here.

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     Glimmer couldn’t remember a time she felt so full of sadness. Her thoughts swirled relentlessly around her exhausted brain as she dragged herself to her room to retire for the night. The day had dragged on longer than she thought possible, as she was forced to make decisions that normally would have fallen onto her mother if she hadn’t…

   She shook her head as she shoved her bedroom door open, fighting every fiber of her being to not slam it shut. With so much responsibility on her shoulders now, she knew she had to hold back her childish urges, and set an example for the kingdom. To be poised, refined, calm, and collected. She had to hold back her emotions, to stop them  from clouding her judgement while making important decisions.

   The worst part was Bow and Adora had barely been around for the week that had past. Bow came around as often as possible, but his fathers had begged him to come home, if only just for a few days. As much as they knew Glimmer needed him, they also needed their son. And Adora… was grieving in her own way. Though she hadn’t known Angela nearly as long as she and Bow had, Glimmer knew Adora had come to see Angela as a new mother figure in her life. Adora had been spending all of her time training with Light Hope, and only came back to the castle late at night to retire. Most of the time, Glimmer was too exhausted to see Adora by the time she came home.

   She knew that her Coronation would take place in exactly a week. It was tradition in Bright Moon for a fallen king or queen to be mourned for two weeks before a new ruler would assume the throne. But already, Glimmer was being shoved from room to room for dress fittings, food tastings, and approving decorations for the coronation party. And she resented every second of it. She hadn’t had a moment to mourn, not since the day their reality had been saved and Adora had told her what her mother had done for them. For… her.

   Glimmer clenched her fists as tears began to form in her eyes, making them feel like they were burning. She had felt so tired mentally that she hadn’t shed a tear since the day she found out about her mother. Mostly because she had forced herself not to. Her mother had always told her that a queen was expected to be sympathetic, but not emotional. And now that her mother was gone, she planned to listen to everything her mother had told her. 

   Sighing in defeat, Glimmer wiped her eyes roughly, walking towards her dresser and get out her pajamas. They were very similar to her regular clothes, but instead of being a bodysuit, it was dark purple shorts and a light purple tank top. After she changed into them, she washed her face gently, and brushed her hair and teeth before climbing the steps up to her bed. 

   She hadn’t used her powers since they had all arrived back in Bright Moon. Or recharged, matter of fact. Not that it mattered. No need to recharge if the magic within her never left. And no one had even noticed, besides the guards that were often patrolling her room or around it. No more infectious laughter coming from Glimmer or her friends. No more teleporting, or training to fight the Horde. It seemed that any ‘glimmer’ of innocence she still had disappeared along with Angela.

   She pulled her blanket up to her chin in a desperate attempt to warm herself up and close herself off. Her back was turned to the door as she lay on her side and felt more tears threatening to fall. Her hands clenched again, this time with the sheets in them, stopping her nails from digging into the palms of her hands as much as they had before. Her body curled in on itself, her legs pressed up against her chest and her forehead moving in to press up against her knees. 

   Then the tears began to fall. Slowly, at first. But then thoughts of her mom, her friends, her new responsibilities, and everything in between began to engulf her and the tears quickly turned into sobs. Her body was shaking, her head was spinning, and her pillow and sheets were quickly becoming soaked with tears. Her thoughts were so loud she hadn’t even heard the soft knock at her door.

   “…Glimmer?” Glimmer stopped shaking as Adora’s cautious voice echoed through her room. She heard the door close, and for a split second she stupidly thought that Adora had left, until she heard gentle footsteps coming up the steps to her bed. Glimmer hoped she knew the girl she loved well enough to know Adora wouldn’t leave if she thought Glimmer was crying. “Glimmer, are you awake?” Adora’s head peeked up from underneath the bed. She looked up at her feebly, her eyes red and puffy, and Adora’s face immediately fell. “Can I come sit with you?” Adora asked softly. Glimmer thought for a moment before nodding, and Adora carefully sat down beside Glimmer’s head. 

   They both sat in silence as Glimmer continued to cry. Adora didn’t seem to mind though, eventually running her hand through Glimmer’s hair to help keep her grounded.

   “Is this okay?” Adora questioned. Glimmer was quick to nod, her body slowly relaxing out of it’s tense curl and into a relaxed spread. Adora sighed, watching her best friend nervously. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. But I can stay here as long as you want me to.” She promised quietly. Glimmer nodded subtly, only to let Adora know she had heard her.

     “I miss her so much.” Glimmer finally whispered. Adora felt her heart shatter for the girl she was harboring feelings for, wishing she could take the pain from her. Glimmer whimpered, moving to rest on Adora’s lap and wrap her arms tightly around her.

     “How can I help?” Adora begged.