Captain James T. Kirk

Not sure what I’d do without you.

I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Without you.

The memory was fleeting. Jim caught in a the surging decompression at the top of Yorktown. McCoy flying—a thought that was alien to Spock at best—zooming through the towering buildings and twisted rings of the station for him to grab Jim before he was sucked out into space. For a moment, he felt the sharp pain in his side from his long healed injury and his shoulder nearly separating. He also felt the warmth of Jim’s words on his soul.

Then they were gone, and Spock was once again in the present, standing with the person who had meant so much to him that it was painful—but he couldn’t feel—not now.

“I have compared the schematics between the two ships while organizing the science decks,” he explained, mentioning nothing about his recollection. It was best not to pour salt in a wound, as expression he’d herd McCoy use and now fully understood. He was not the person Jim could not live without, and deep down he was afraid Jim would realize that fact. Perhaps he should have retired as they suggested…“The bridge configuration is altered a great deal. My station has been moved to your right. That will take some getting used to.”

There was a flicker in Spock’s eyes, something...but then it was gone in the next heartbeat and Jim wasn’t even sure he’d seen anything.  “I’m sure that’s not all that’s changed but you’re right, it’ll take some getting used to.”  He patted Spock’s shoulder before tucking his hands behind his back.  This had to work, it was too important to him for it not to.  “I’m sorry we’re losing some of the crew to other ships but I can’t blame them either, they deserve the promotions.”

Giving one last look at the ship, he gave Spock his undivided attention.  “It’s going to be busy the next few days, getting everyone back on board and taking her out to stretch her legs.  I’m going to need your help, keeping everyone on track and making sure we have all the supplies we’re supposed to, though I’m sure you’ve got that all under control already.  Scotty’s already been complaining about the Starfleet mechanics crawling all over his lady but he’ll get over it.”

His emotions were mired with confusion. He’d been forced to attend therapy where Starfleet psychologists attempted to determine if he was fit to return to active duty, but his ‘damned Vulcan stoicism’ made it impossible for them to come to a conclusion. A trio of Vulcan healers came from the colony to evaluate him, but they were unprepared for his ‘too human’ thought processes.

Once again, Spock was an outsider. He didn’t miss the glances he got from members of the crew who had seen him when he was Borg. At least he’d learned to rebuild his mental barriers to a point where he no longer tasted their distrust or fear. Being feared was unacceptable. He was first officer of Enterprise. He was one of them—not part of the Collective. The only voices in his head were his own.

He’d walked nearly every inch of the new ship, memorizing the new layout as he had the old. Memories of Captain Pike taking a tour of the ship with him when he’d informed Spock he’d been named his XO brought a smile to his face that he let no one see. Spock was thankful whenever one of his memories was clear. So many of them were not. They were twisted together until most made no sense, and it was frustrating to say the least.

“I was touring the ship, Captain,” he said, folding his hands behind his back as he stepped into the room. “Although this view is not particularly interesting.” It would be better when they were in space. When he could focus on his work, the ship, and his crew—and Jim. He knew deep down that he needed to remember Jim.

Of course he had, Jim mentally sighed. He’d hoped to do that with Spock, spend some quiet time alone with him but there was no point in asking him to do it again, Spock wouldn’t see the reason for it. Smiling at Spock, he shook his head.  “I find it interesting. You can see the whole ship from here, compare her to the old one and see the changes.  I like knowing my ship, inside and out. I can’t wait to check every inch of her out. Then again, I can’t wait to take her back out there again either.” He pointed his chin out towards the stars.

“What did you think of her? Did they do a good job?”  He wished Spock would relax a little, not be so stiff but he wouldn’t be Spock if he weren’t. Jim missed that easiness they’d finally found with each other but he’d bring it back, it just would take time.  He couldn’t even imagine the hell Spock had gone through when he’d been assimilated and then trying to adjust back to being himself. Jim would help remind him what they had and try to make things easier for him. Giving himself a mental shake, he turned towards Spock.

“Yeah, I–I want the box,” she muttered, moving closer to Jim’s side unconsciously.  She knew she wasn’t prepared to put up any kind of fight, and she pressed close to him in hopes he’d protect her.  “But not if it’s gonna cause problems.”  She took a deep breath, trying to relax and curling her arm around Jim’s as they moved toward the checkout counter.  @beatthekobayashimaru​

“It’s not going to cause trouble, they’re just not too thrilled with humans is all. If they start anything, let me handle it otherwise don’t worry. They can’t really do anything, not here, but they may try to provoke us.” That wasn’t completely true but it was close enough, he didn’t want to worry her when it wouldn’t do any good.

Patting her hand, he led her over to the clerk and tried to ignore the aliens while keeping an eye on them.  He was in the middle of negotiating the price on the puzzle box when one of the aliens came over, giving him a shove.  “Human, you’re stinking up the place, why don’t you take your female and get out.”

His back stiffening, he agreed to the price with the clerk and started to pay for the box while answering the alien.  “We’re leaving because I don’t want to be around a Tessect more than I have to be. Your stench is strong enough to peel the paint off the walls.” He glanced at Cheryl, giving her a quick wink to let her know it was ok.

Surgeries. It was an unpleasant word. Spock hated medical procedures. McCoy always assumed it was because of personal issues between them that he avoided med bay, but it was because of his childhood and all the poking and prodding he’d been subjected to just to stay alive. And now here he was, strapped to a bed while a horde of surgeons cut into his flesh.

Unable to sit up, all he could do was glance at the other beds in the ward. He knew the others were members of their crew and others from other ships, but he no longer recognized them. Before he’d been severed from the Collective, he’d known them all. They’d been the same person, with the same needs and wants. They had not been individuals.

“Jim. You name is Jim,” he stated, placing the brilliant blue eyes in the appropriate box in his memories. It was an old box that he had seemingly locked away to protect those who were important to him when he’d been assimilated, but Spock was not at all certain that he’d saved enough to be who he had been before. “I am Spock.”

That brought a bigger smile to Jim’s face. At least Spock recognized him and himself, that was a good start. There was a long way to go through, to get his friend even close to the person he used to be but this was a step in the right direction. “That’s right, I’m Jim and you’re Spock. We’re friends and I’m glad to see you remember.” He wasn’t going to bring up Enterprise or anything else, he’d been told to let Spock remember at his own pace.

“Your father is on the way, he’s coming with a healer to help you. In the meantime, I can help you get back on your feet and everything.” He couldn’t help putting his hand on Spock’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze before letting go.  “If you’re up to it, you can sit up or even get out of bed. The doctors insisted on restraining you until they were sure you were going to wake up, so you wouldn’t accidentally hurt yourself.” Or anyone else for that matter. “Bones told them they were being idiots but they wouldn’t listen to him.  He’s been here a lot, keeping an eye on you and making sure they don’t mess up all his doctoring.” He let out a small chuckle.

It was tempting to tell Spock how the bridge crew wanted to come and make sure he was okay but Bones and the doctors had limited how many people could be in the recovery rooms.  Jim, Uhura, and Bones had been the only ones allowed to visit Spock, the doctors hadn’t wanted to overwhelm him until they were sure he was healed enough to handle it and that wouldn’t happen until the Vulcan healer got there and gave their evaluation. “Do you remember what happened before the Borg took you?” The last thing he wanted to do was bring up bad memories but he needed to reassure himself that Spock at least remembered more than their names.

“A puzzle box,” she mused, turning the thing upside down and sideways.  She wouldn’t have guessed that.  “I haven’t talked much to Uhura, but she seems really nice.”  Her eyes met his when he leaned on the counter and grinned.  “I’ve always wanted to be seen with a hero,” she murmured, moving closer.

Her eye was caught by a group of black-clad aliens moving quickly into the shop.  She frowned suddenly.  “Who are they?” she whispered to Jim.

“She is, once she gets to know you,” he laughed, rubbing his jaw. “First time I met her, she didn’t fall for any of my lines and I ended up in a fight with some very big men. I can still feel the punches to my jaw.” He laughed, remembering the day that changed his life. His grin grew as she moved closer and he opened his mouth to say something when the group came into the small shop. 

His demeanor changed and he grew a bit more serious. “Trouble. We should go, as soon as we can. Did you want the box? We can pay for it and then go.” His eyes followed the group as they moved closer.  “Just act like everything’s normal and we won’t have any problems,” he said softly to her.  He didn’t like that they were basically being boxed in, no way to escape.  His fingers twitched, wishing he had a phaser but getting ready to call for security if he needed it.

Character: 5.5″ x 3″

Canvas: Approximately 7.5″ x 5″

Price:

Pattern: $5

Product without hoop: $40

Product with 7″ hoop: $45

Character: 5.5″ x 3″

Canvas: Approximately 7.5″ x 5″

Price:

Pattern: $5

Product without hoop: $40

Product with 7″ hoop: $45

Character: 5.5″ x 3″

Canvas: Approximately 7.5″ x 5″

Price:

Pattern: $5

Product without hoop: $40

Product with 7″ hoop: $45

Silence that was deafening.

Pain that was blinding.

Echoes with no end.

Breath hitching, familiar taste on a dry tongue.

There was no movement. No feeling. No order. No guidance.

He was lost. HE. Not three.

“I am, Spock,” he said, his voice cracking as his tongue sought the dryness of his lips to try to moisten them. His fingers curled into the blanket that was held down by the restraints holding him in place on the biobed. The world was spinning. Unable to tell if his eyes were open or not, Spock blinked a dozen times, trying to clear his mind. To remember.

To forget.

“I am, Spock.” His voice was stronger the second time. The sounds around him were different now. It had been forty minutes since his first words. His time sense was functioning, but his eyes were not. A memory of the Borg device piercing his eye before its removal and replacement made him whimper.

Fear.

Loss.

Why am I alone? Another thought that made him panic. Shouldn’t someone be there, watching over him? Am I dead?

“Answer me!” It was a demand. He needed something to tell him he was alive. Needed to know where he was and what had become of him. “Where am I?”

@beatthekobayashimaru​

He’d only stepped out for a minute to get some more coffee, he could’ve had a crew member get it for him but he needed to stretch his legs. He’d been by Spock’s side every free minute he had, waiting for Bones to do what surgery he could on the way to Starbase 29, waiting to see if Spock would wake up and how he would be when he did.  It was days and they had reached the Starbase and all the crewmen were transferred over to try and do more surgery. At least Bones had been able to sever the connection to the Borg.

Coming back into the room, he nearly dropped his cup as he heard Spock’s voice. Setting it down quickly, he moved over to the bed.  “You’re alright, I’m here.” His hand moved to touch Spock’s but he pulled it back.  “You’re on Starbase 29 in medical, they’ve been working on taking the cybernetics out. How are you feeling? Want some water?” He smiled down at the Vulcan, searching his face for any sign of what was going on in his head.

“It’s been about a week since we rescued you and the surgeries have been going well.” Jim wasn’t about to tell Spock there were some cybernetics the doctors hadn’t been able to remove, they were tied in so close to nerves and muscles they didn’t dare. Most of the crew had parts still in them but they had a few specialists on the way to try and see if they could remove them. They had also asked New Vulcan to send a healer to try and help Spock but they hadn’t arrived yet.