You're here because HE turned you in for sweets.

❛ i don’t have time for a relationship. do you know how many books i need to read? ❜ ❛ i think it’s hilarious when people tell me i’m laid back because i’ve pretty uch been screaming nonstop in my head since like fifth grade ❜ ❛ coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just… not good ❜ ❛ i’m a piece of shit, but it’s fine ❜ ❛ how i am supposed to have a lit summer with $4.65 ❜ ❛ i’m a huge fan of space; both outer and personal ❜ ❛ and to your left, you can see me, ruining everything ❜ ❛ any full cast musical number can be a solo if you believe hard enough ❜ ❛ kinda hungry, kinda horny, kinda tired, kinda wanna get a tattoo ❜ ❛ no amount of under eye concealer can cover up how tired i am of this world ❜ ❛ i’m ready for autumn, but not autumn responsibilities ❜ ❛ today i’m wearing a lovely shade of i slept like shit so don’t piss me off ❜ ❛ i’m not making enough boys nervous ❜ ❛ i really want my last words to be ‘hey, wanna see a dead body?’ ❜ ❛ don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it? ❜ ❛ i’m always a slut for conspiracy theories ❜ ❛ i wanna make a diss track about myself ❜ ❛ true friendship is bullying your friends into watching the tv shows you watch ❜ ❛ i’d be such a good girlfriend/boyfriend/s.o. you’re all missing out ❜ ❛ sorry i was late. i can’t conceptualize time. ❜ ❛ fuck what the aliens said ❜ ❛ sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments ❜  ❛ if outfit repeating was a crime i would be sentenced to life without parole ❜ ❛ does anyone have ten thousand dollars they don’t want? ❜ ❛ i want a sugar daddy, but i know nicki minaj wants me to be independent  ❜ ❛ i stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about ❜ ❛ i don’t have plans for tonight or the rest of my life if anyone wants to have a drink or get married ❜ ❛ tbh sometimes you just gotta let me be dramatic because i will get over it, but let me be dramatic first. ❜ ❛ painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk ❜ ❛ if we date, you have to hold my hand in the car. no exceptions. ❜ ❛ in an unfortunate development, i am now awake ❜ ❛ you’re hella bomb, hella cute, and anyone would be hella lucky to have you ❜ ❛ kinda hurt, kinda offended, kinda not planning on saying anything about it ❜ ❛ trying to embarrass me is so unnecessary. i do it to myself just fine. ❜ ❛ if you don’t think i’m a princess then you’re 100% right. i’m the fucking queen. ❜ ❛ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october. ❜ ❛ lana may have fucked her way up to the top, but i am bullshitting my way up to the middle ❜ ❛ i don’t want to get involved in the drama, i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened ❜ ❛ so… do you want to watch 49.7 hours of parks and recreation with me? ❜ ❛ i hit rock bottom like every two weeks ❜ ❛ can someone please be proud of me? like fuck, i’m trying. ❜ ❛ give me a few days to overthink about it ❜ ❛ can i sell my feelings on ebay? i don’t want them anymore. ❜ ❛ i’m really fucking sarcastic for someone who’s about to start crying most of the time ❜ ❛ when does hibernation start because i am 100% participating in that ❜ ❛ don’t you hate it when you wake up and you’re awake ❜ ❛ i lowkey just wanna make sure you’re happy as fuck ❜ ❛ i literally have no idea what i’m gonna do if i don’t end up rich ❜ ❛ you know you’re in deep when you love listening to them talk and you get attached to their voice ❜ ❛ no offense, but when is it my turn for someone to be in love with me ❜ ❛ i’m an asshole with a really big heart ❜ ❛ i have to be funny because being hot is not an option ❜ ❛ can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do ❜ ❛ okay that’s cool, but consider the following: snuggling with me until i fall asleep ❜ ❛ please handle me with care. i am a very sleepy and soft creature. ❜ ❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk. ❜

👮 for a moodboard about my muse’s occupation

👮 for a moodboard about my muse’s occupation

“ ….if we BOTH stick to the story, they can’t prove anything. ”

             ❝    I know,  so  don’t  mess  it  &  do  your  tell.    ❞

’ i dont know if i need a hug or to fuck. ’ ’ you know what? fuck this shit. ’ ’ are you out of your fucking mind? ’ ’ do i look like i give a fuck? ’ ’ i wish i had a fuck to spare but i don’t. ’ ’ you’re fucking stupid, honestly. ’ ’ you know what, fuck you dude. ’ ’ fuck you right back. ’ ’ you did not just say that, you fucker. ’ ’ what do you think i am, just a fuck? ’ ’ i’m just another fuck to you, huh? ’ ’ i really just want to fuck right now. ’ ’ please stop using fuck in every sentence. ’ ’ you use the word ‘fuck’ a lot, you know. ’ ’ you are a fucktard but a cute fucktard. ’ ’ you have lost every bit of my fucking respect. ’ ’ if you say ‘fuck’ one more time, i swear. ’ ’ do you wanna fuck or what? ’ ’ someone else wanted to fuck you? ’ ’ please stop telling me about your fucks. ’ ’ do you ever not go around and fuck? ’ ’ all you do is eat, sleep and fuck. ’ ’ seriously, how to you stand to fuck that much? ’ ’ did you fuck anyone last night? ’ ’ i know i’m a good fuck, so whatever. ’ ’ i will fuck you up, don’t even try. ’ ’ don’t get fucked up today. ’ ’ you will get fucked up if you don’t shut up. ’ ’ what did you just fucking say to me? ’ ’ why don’t you fuck off? ’ ’ seriously, fuck you. ’ ’ fuck you, fuck you and fuck you. ’