BeardPrincess

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she’s been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My Cat, 1AM: Father has abandoned me. It has been weeks and weeks since his snoring began in the room I cannot enter. Clearly I shall perish, but first I shall scream at him from the door, hoping he awakes; perhaps if I thrust myself bodily upon the door–

Me, startling awake to the door being banged by a screaming cat: Go play with something else kitten!

Cat: shame on you. Shame on your house. Thou hast thrust me into a barren waste. I simply wish to curl up on you. The myriad of toys and food out here are naught to me, but for your warmth.

Me *relents*, leaving the door open.