Sail Your Own Ship

i don’t feel like i’m old enough to be my age

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

opening the weather app. saying “oh lord” and closing it again

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

Hagfish ass immune system

[to the tune of YMCA] mothman, there’s no need to feel down I said mothman,

lift that man off the ground

CUZ ITS FUN! TO! SWING! A! HU-MAN!

It’s him. The sultan of swing

"never trust how you feel abt ur life after 9pm" is a spring & summer & fall rule. for winter it's never trust how u feel abt ur life after 4pm

yeah man he just texted me saying he’s gonna be running a little bit late probably. yeah. yeah he’s stuck in the catacombs. again

every day o need to save money and then there is some kind of little fucking item

comfy bed. take me home. to the place. where i belong. pillow blanky. sleeping soundly. take me home. comfy bed

never enough time in the day to do fuck all