L

kev [they/them] ref sheet comm for @/bigkevin 🐖✨

In a move that left hundreds of longtime residents scrambling to find alternative housing, municipal construction crews reportedly demolished a local Black neighborhood Thursday, part of an ongoing city project to make room for nothing in particular. “For decades, this part of Fort Worth has languished as nothing more than a loving community for African American families and a bustling hub for Black-owned businesses,” said Mayor Mattie Parker, adding that the destruction of dozens of beloved restaurants, theaters, barbershops, and newspapers was an essential step toward creating more vacant lots that could sit empty behind fences for an indefinite length of time.

My mom tried to lose weight in vain for months before she finally gave into my begging her to get a second opinion. The first doctor she saw next scheduled her for surgery the same day she met him. When my mom asked about the risk of operating on her he told her that there was some minor risks for complication and that all she would need to do to alleviate the risk was spend an extra night in the hospital so that they could keep a look out for any complications.

There were zero. There were also zero complications when she had her other knee done, her hip replaced and her gallbladder removed.

An adult gives you unsolicited advice that you either don't understand or have already tried many times.

What should you do?

If you don't respond, you get punished for ignoring.

If you respond and continue to show frustration, you get punished for raising your voice.

So you know that you must respond and you must fully calm down before you do. You also must phrase it perfectly, making sure it's accurate and has nothing that can be misinterpreted or taken as disrespect. You have to make sure you explain how inaccurate they are while being absolutely certain that you don't make them feel bad. And since you're already being misunderstood as shown by the advice they gave you, you have to put extra effort into making sure you explain clearly.

Oops, too late. In the process of trying to figure out how to do that long list of steps all at once, you took longer than the allowed 4 seconds, and the adult assumed that you're ignoring them. You're now being punished for ignoring them.

And you can't defend yourself against the punishment, because anything you say can be interpreted as "arguing". Since you were already struggling to keep up before, and you're now forced to think even faster, there's nothing you can possibly say to stop this adult from punishing you, and anything you say could just make it worse. So you just accept the punishment.