Seasoned Bitch

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

@the-new-rum THIS FUCKS SEVERELY

Mutual hangout idea we all take an autism test and tell each other the % in the tags

ashes to ashes, dust to dust, reeses to pieces

And sluts to sluts.

amen

Fun fact. Nothing can stop you from finding the oldest art your friend has ever made on their blog and reblogging it.

i think i deserve financial compensation for everything. all of it. i’m not even gonna specify

when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services

Everyone loves me for my repetitive speech, my odd noises, my constant forgetfulness, and my repetitive speech

a nerf gun but with real bullets

a nerf sword with real bullets

a super soaker that shoots real water

where do i get my hands on fake water?

.That Judge Judy Pussy grip insane. You be calling her Judith on the second stroke.

My grip will rip your junk off, chew it up, and spit it back at you.

Imagine how I feel

“Get his ass” Is so unreasonably funny to me. A huge win for the English language. Today’s version of “seize him” imo