Basil Writes Stuff

“i’ll be your sword” okay. and. and im the sheath right. nnghhhh,,,

Hi my name is Don Quixote of La Mancha the Knight of the Rueful Figure and I have a rueful figure (that's how I got my name) with purple bruised ribs and tall stature and gaunt features and hair turning gray and a rather hooked aquiline nose and large black drooping mustaches and a lot of people tell me I look like Amadís of Gaul (AN: if u don’t know who he is begone!). I’m not related to Lady Oriana but I wish I was because she’s an incomparable flowering beauty. I’m a knight errant but some of my teeth and grinders are missing. I have long lank limbs. I’m also a defender of damsels, protector of orphans, succourer of the needy, righter of wrongs, undoer of injustice, and I wander a magic countryside called the mountains of Spain where I’m in my first year of knighthood (I’m forty-nine). I’m a gentleman (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly armor. I love my great-grandfather's forgotten corner of the house and I cobble together all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a doublet of fine cloth with matching shoes and velvet breeches and a helmet, morion, visor, breastplate and backpiece. I was riding outside La Mancha. It was early morning so the rays of the sun fell obliquely and the heat did not distress me, which I was very happy about. A lot of giants stared at me. I put up my pasteboard visor at them.

if there was any justice at all in the world “every helen has her troy” would be an idiom (“every beautiful woman leaves a disaster in her wake”) and misogynistic renaissance authors would use it to describe hot women they didn’t like but, of course, inadvertently making her sound insanely awesome in the process. and then in modern times instead of talking about things being their hill to die on women could say “this is my troy to burn” and people on tumblr would be kind of horny about the whole thing and it would get incorporated into the whole “can yuo put that out on me” genre of posts. anyway just a glimpse into my beautiful mind tonight

one more thing. if a character ascends to godhood/divinity/some form of power that makes them practically omnipotent and no longer human. and they had a partner before that who didn’t rise with them. you are legally required to make that situation as terrifying as it would rightly be. it’s bad enough to get the attention of a god. it is ruinous to be loved by one. that is not the person you knew anymore. that is something that never has to let you leave, or have secrets, or disobey it. it will fix every problem you so much as glance at, and it will shower you in grace and gifts until you drown, and it will make you a holy artifact in its own story. you have to understand, it doesn’t remember how horrible death is, so it strikes you to cinders like a snide comment and brings you back with an apology it needs you to accept. that is how it’s going to love you forever, because it might not be inclined to let you die.

great. a chivalric order has started nesting under my porch & theres no way i can afford a warlock to come clear it out so i guess now ive got to deal with men-at-arms swearing oaths of valor right outside my window at 4 am every morning

A writer will live through something devastating and their first thought is unfortunately oh this is good material