Sniffin’ Them Skinses

Also, the reason why we know you don't know Spanish —which isn't something that'd excuse people from being Latinos because many don't speak Spanish (Brazilians, for example)— is because every single sentence you've written in Spanish during this "roasts" (your roasts: preaching harmful stereotypes and saying the US should further perpetuate imperialism on LatAm until we're all "like Venezuela") of yours sucks major ass and have mistakes not even a 2 years old makes.

And since You asked for screenshots, here you go. Went looking for them just for you since you took the time to try and find my likes ❤️

"de onde eres? de uno culo de perra"

¿De DÓNDE eres? DEL culo de UNA perra"

Please please PLEASE show me when the US has helped Latin America. ACTUALLY helped, NOT given something just so that they could take something from us, NOT gotten their hands where nobody called them and made things more complicated for us, NOT claimed to help us when what they were actually doing was be a problem at best and an active threat at worst to us. ACTUALLY HELPED.

And still, you don't speak "Mexican" Spanish either, because if you did you'd know they also borrow from a lot of languages and you would have been able to write that very simple sentence that I corrected for you.

Also your bio is wrong. It's not #LatinoRevokedCard, it's #RevokedLatinoCard, revoked in that context is an adjective and adjectives go BEFORE the nouns (Latino —a proper noun— and card).

i already im open borders to accept latin americans, do you think your country should accept american latinas? whos the xeno one?

we have a thing in america called job corps that help out in foreign disasters, we also send our military for help of they ask for it, latin countrys always helped us, especially Mexico being our biggest ally and trader. Also are you aware how much money latinos in america send to their families in poorer regions of Latin America. You sound like you're saying we're not family oriented or taking eachother. i mexican but i met some Salvadorians and Guatemalans who did the same thing.

I don't try on spanish cause i dont like it. im trying to learn Italian instead because that's where the spaniards are from and thats where my church is at. The only reason to brush up on spanish is if i go to my dream latin country chile since they have the best star view but chilean spanish is the most complex one there is because they use a lot sayings and parables my american ass has never heard.

First, nunca vas a ser más Latinoamericana que yo, gringa, si venís acá vas a ser una inmigrante, no una Latina.

Second, SPANIARDS ARGENTINA FROM ITALY. ITALY IS ITALY, SPAIN IS SPAIN. gringa ignorante.

Third, what the fuck is the sur?? Argentinian currency is the Argentinian peso and Brazilian currency is the Brazilian real. We don't share a currency. Also "the usa is there to keep you guys alive"

Argentina had a high italian immigration similar to new york city, about 50% of Argentines or Uruguayan has an italian surname.

The Sur is the plan both presidents made to conjoin soon. it isnt official but they announced it, they want more South American countries to join. This is important for Brazil because they want more to be less dependent on USA currency.

That was a civil war dead joke, keep alive enough to buy more guns, because the USA is the worlds biggest arm and security supplier.

However, when I worked at the porn store I was required to have some passing familiarity with the titles we carried. We had an employee library for this purpose but I really dragged my heels on watching any of them until a coworker told me she did hers by having a Porn and Pizza night with friends.

I was so down for that idea. I called up several friends and told them the plan and we all sat down together to watch my first pick, Pirates II. The first Pirates movie was roughly in line with a Pirates of the Caribbean porn parody. Pirates II is to this day still one of the most expensive pornos ever produced. They lied about what they were using the replica ship for and promised not to have sex on it. They promptly then had sex all over it.

You might think it would be awkward to watch porn with your friends but we had a blast. Sex is already so close to absurdity at the best of times that with a hard cider in hand we all thought it was the height of hilarity.

The only issue was that I absolutely abhor come shots. Semen in general is just not my jam but in porn they delight in flinging it around onto faces to much distress on my part.

My friends took this as a personal challenge, to protect me from that visual they created a drinking game around telling me the exact moment to look away. Our apartment sounded like a bizarre sports match of shouting as climaxes neared in each scene.

“Not yet!” “Wait- now!”

“No, no, not yet, wait for it… wait for it- NOW! QUICK!”

Mom asked, "Where's Mom?" (their mom, who lived with my aunt)

"Oh she's right here, watching it with us!"

And Mom said that at that point, she could hear her mother in the background going, "Well, he's not gonna be able to sit down for a while!"

At this party we played fun games that included a quiz about if the person in the photo we were shown was looking at dick or at food, and another quiz that asked us if the items we were looking at were sex toys and if so what they were for.

Here’s how it works:

1) get six volunteers from the audience. Blindfold them.

2) play some REALLY dubious-sounding anime clips. Some are hentai, some are just unfortunate.

3) the audience can react, but MUST NOT spoil whether or not the clip is hentai. I attend this panel regularly and “THAT ESCALATED” is a pretty common shout. So is “WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH” and you would be stunned how often that’s directed at the non-hentai clips.

4) volunteers must guess whether a given clip is or is not hentai. Correct answers get one point.

5) person with the most points wins their choice from box of hentai.

Oh, and bonus:

*because I happened to be crocheting the first time they ran this panel, and I said “well, we DO call ourselves happy hookers,” they feel the need to point me out and make a hooker joke every time now. I always carry a project to the panel for exactly this, so if you’ve ever been to an Arizona anime con and seen a fat blonde dyke crocheting, 1) that was me 2) now you know why.

[Q: Why did you decide to do this experiment?

A: Snake behavior has been generally neglected as a field of research, especially in Brazil. And most studies don’t examine what factors make them want to bite. If you study malaria, you can research the parasite that causes the disease—but if you don’t study the mosquito that carries it, you will never solve the problem. Up until now, the popular wisdom was that the jararaca would only attack if you touched it or stepped on it. But that was not what we found.

Q: Why did you need to be the victim?

A: The best way to do this research is to put snakes and a human together. In this case, the human was me. We put the snakes inside a ring on the floor of our lab until they got used to it, then I stepped in wearing special protective boots. I stepped close to the snake and also lightly on top of it. I didn’t put my whole weight on my foot, so I did not hurt the snakes. I tested 116 animals and stepped 30 times on every animal, totaling 40,480 steps.]

Rest of Party, looking on from a distance: Shit. He’s dead. He’s so dead. RIP Edward. 

DM: The dragon thanks the cultists and asks if you have any last words.

Bard: I look up at the dragon and say, “I have brought you this gold and these six cultists as tribute to your greatness.”

Rest of Party: OH SHIT!

DM, who was clearly not expecting that: …………roll persuasion.

Bard: 17.

DM: The dragon says, “I like you. Duck.”

Bard: ….I duck?

DM: The dragon incinerates the cultists with his poison breath and leaves you alive, flying off with his treasure. 

Bard: Oh my god. I thought I was dead.