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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
trying on a metaphor

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@basilica-gel

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I just got a really really good idea for a visual gag that unfortunately only works in an animated artistic medium that uses chowder style static textures for clothes. And now I’m pissed off that I can’t find a series of words to write a description of the gag that would have any chance of working as a joke because it requires too much setup and the punchline wouldn’t be punchy in a text medium. (T ^ T)
[In a Chowder style cartoon world where clothing uses static background textures]
Character A: *Accidentally spills something on her shirt and it leaves a stain*
*Looks around to see if anyone noticed.*
*Takes a few steps to the side, moving along the static background texture causing the stain to ‘slide’ away and not be visible anymore*
[later in the episode, a completely different scene with completely different framing]
Character A: *Walks along with the rest of the cast across the screen into the same spot on the screen where she was when she spilled on her shirt. The stain was on the same spot in the background texture this whole time she just happened to avoid it throughout the episode til now. This causes the stain to ‘slide’ onto her shirt again, but shes further from the ‘camera’ now so the stain covers way more of her shirt.*
Character B: *Points the stain out and laughs at her for managing to get such a huge stain on her clothes*
Character A: *Gets embarrassed and defensive saying it’s the shot composition’s fault*
Character C: *Looks up and scolds the animator for not doing the cast’s laundry between scenes*
Faceless animator from off screen: *Tries to make excuses about not having time and trying to meet the episode deadline*
Character C: *Crosses her arms and turns her head away, says she’s disappointed in them*
Offscreen animator’s giant hand: *Reluctantly grabs the static clothing texture and pulls it away*
Character A: *Her shirt clothing texture is replaced with blank white void. She gets embarrassed and tries to cover herself up as if she was naked*
[Cut to short live action sequence of the disembodied hand of the animator throwing the static texture cloth into the washing machine, adding stain remover and starting the machine.]
[Time passes. Cut to disembodied hand tapping its fingers impatiently right before the washing machine dings complete. The hand throws it in the dryer. Resumes tapping impatiently]
[Time Passes. Cut to disembodied hand seemingly being asleep, then the dryer dings waking them up. Hand takes texture out of the dryer. Starts bringing the texture back to the set.]
Character C, offscreen: *Shouts at the animator demanding they iron it too*
[Cut to disembodied hand frantically ironing the texture.]
[Cut back to animated scene with main cast still at the same scene. Character A is still embarrassed and trying to cover herself up. Character B is asleep and loudly cartoonishly snoring. Character C is looking up at where ‘the animator’ is, impatiently tapping her foot and scowling]
Disembodied Hand: *Frantically tries to put the texture back in place. Accidentally puts it on upside down.*
Character C, scowling: *Raises an eyebrow*
Disembodied hand: *Frantically rearranges the texture and finally gets it in place correctly*
Character C, eyebrow still raised: *Asks if they’re forgetting something*
Disembodied hand, ‘standing’ on the ‘ground’ of the scene with its middle and ring finger posed as legs and its pointer and pinky as arms: *Goes into dogeza pose and desperately apologizes*
Character C: *Accepts apology, but gives a threatening warning not to let it happen again*
Disembodied hand: *’Runs’ offscreen frantically*
[The episode resumes as if nothing happened. This gag is never repeated and is never addressed for the rest of the show’s running]
Lots of drama in our household
work like a red onion
play like a white onion
fuck like a green onion

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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my house is scary at night
Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications
sorry for the mixed signals I don’t know what I want or what I’m doing mostly
I love "hunky dory" as an expression so much. Everything's going so well that's it's a strong girl.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
rebecca black was right. It’s Friday
the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.
As dandelions
to sidewalks, so onions to
refrigerators.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Christian splurging on a little treat: Just as God generously feeds the birds of the air and clothes the flowers of the field, he provides me with extra money for a little treat.
Atheist splurging on a little treat: Thanks to my personal skill and hard work, my employer values my labour enough to pay me a large salary, so I in turn can afford to pay others for creating little treats.
Agnostic splurging on a little treat: Nobody knows how much money is in my bank account, but that’s no reason I can’t buy a little treat.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
therapypilled deadbeat father: I really don't have the headspace for custody right now
this should be the most reblogged post on tumblr before it dies