either the sea or the sword

Hey check your titties for any lumps

debbie downer and negative nancy are in a beautiful lesbian relationship

Not to sound like a broken record but does it make anyone else viscerally angry how we realized in the very recent past that we can successfully eradicate devastating human-specific diseases (smallpox) yet now there's a million people telling you not to vaccinate your kids against measles. I know I know "everyone will not just" but also for real we could never have measles again if everyone would just be cool

The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season

THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP

COOKIES ACQUIRED

how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes

Oh my god it’s back

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP

Had a patient who absolutely did not under any circumstances want to be disturbed. This is difficult to accommodate in a hospital but not impossible. However one suggestion the patient offered as to how we could manage this was that before we enter their room, we knock on the closed door and wait for a reply (this is fine). If we did not hear a reply, the patient continued, we should interpret this as the patient not wishing to interact and we should leave them alone. At this point I had to be like, listen, there is nothing I love more than respecting patient autonomy by doing fuck all with them all night, but my dude if i knock on a door and my patient who is attached to no monitoring devices doesn’t reply, I simply have to follow up. because this is a hospital. and you might be dead in there. that’s a really reasonable thing to think in these circumstances. And if you’re dead, they’re gonna fire me AND I’m gonna feel bad. Just tell me to go fuck myself if you don’t want me to come in. I’m so happy to wander off to fuck myself content in the knowledge that you are alive. Anyway I told the patient to just hit the call light periodically to order a drink or whatever and I could use that as my safety rounding. Then I left them almost entirely alone. I like to think they got a good night’s sleep, but I didn’t ask. I can tell you that they didn’t die, so I’m basically nurse of the year.

just so we’re clear if you’ve never actually seen a cybertruck in person and have only seen photos of them i cannot stress enough how much worse they look in real life. like i honestly don’t know how it’s possible. most things look basically the same in pictures and in real life. but as stupid and ugly as cybertrucks look in photos, every person i’ve spoken to who has seen one in real life agrees that they somehow look even worse in person. and i know you’re thinking to yourself “tah they already look so bad in photos, how can they possibly look even worse in person?” I DONT KNOW. the first time i saw one on the road i was on a phone call and i literally cut myself off in the middle of a sentence just to be like “oh my GOD.” just an incredibly, laughably, unbelievably bad vehicle. i’ve never experienced anything like it. they’re just so bad

really fond of humans just from an appearance standpoint. the long legs. the manes of hair that can come in practically any colour and texture. those crazy high-contrast eyes with the white scleras and colourful irises. the fingers being so much longer than the toes. there's a lot to love. solid 10/10 animal species

kitties will be like "in case you forgot: hello"

don’t ever kill your self because maybe someday you will get brunch with your tumblr mutual

#frankly boxes a and b work this way too if you're not operating under systemic delusions

i think the luckiest moment of my life - at least, the luckiest moment i'm aware of & can remember - was when i poured HOURS of wrist-grinding labor into nålbinding baby socks with no pattern & vague measurements pirated off a machine-made baby sock, and they turned out weirdly long and skinny. and then the baby was born with such weirdly long and skinny feet that the only socks that fit him were the ones i made. what a very specific little lottery to win.