"Stray Italian Greyhound" as Rogue and her relationship with Gambit (because I have no self-control)
Okay, so I've been bombarding my favorite Romy server with song analyzes for a week now and I decided "y'know, gotta put it here too".
So let me introduce you to my favorite Rogue-core song of all time - Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng. It's very important to me, and in my mind it encompasses Rogue's character and her relationship with Gambit perfectly, especially in the beginning of their relationship.
Oh no not now
Please not now
I just settled into the glass half empty
Made myself at home
And so why now
Please not now
I just stopped believing in happy endings
Harbors of my own
This is Rogue before - a girl who made had accepted the fact that she's untouchable and is doomed to be alone. She hates it, but there's no hope, not really, and she's comfortable with being cynical even if deep down she'd like it to change - she's used to being miserable, it's her usual state. She jokes and flirts and she's her, but some part of her is forever gripped and focused on things she can't have. And then, well. The idiot comes along. (also, "harbors", you say? hehe)
But you had to come along didnāt you
Tear down the doors, throw open windows
Oh if you knew just what a fool you have made me
We know that he literally blinded her. With how loud he is, with how obnoxious and blunt he is, how obvious is his attraction and affection towards her, he shook her world to its core. And being so wanted, it rattled her in a way, because despite the fact that she craves it, Rogue is unfamiliar to it all, unfamiliar to affection and love without strings attached.
So what do I do with this?
So naturally, she is confused, waiting for another shoe to drop.
This stray Italian greyhound
These inconvenient fireworks
This ice-cream-covered screaming hyperactive thought
All good things suddenly being there, Rogue is face to face with the fact that there are good things, even with her powers and her fears. And Remy, he's all those good things too, and it's strange and it's inviting and he is like the life itself, the good parts of it - the laughter and the smiles and the jokes and the charm, all of him.
God I just want to lay down
These colors make my eyes hurt
This feeling calls for everything that I am
Not
And Rogue doesn't know what to do with all these feelings, they confuse her, because most of her life she had to endure and never could choose whatever she wanted, because when she did it ended badly. She's a Rogue, she's detached and strong and has to be alone, so when Gambit tries to pull her into something that would be perfect for any other usual girl, she hesitates - she's not just a girl, she's a walking death sentence and she can't give him what he surely has to want.
Iām not that kind
Iām so good at shooting down any notion
This tired world could change
Itās all been bought
Or at least that was my line
No use in spending all that emotion
When thereās someone else to blame
Literally, she's been taught the world is a dangerous place, and even with her strive to see things in a better way, she never saw herself like that. She was taught that she was dangerous and doomed to be alone, so getting over that is so, so hard. And even like this, she can't get over her own insecurities and fears, admit that they are hers, because again, someone else always made choices for her.
But you had to come along didnāt you
Rev up the crowd, rewrite the rule book
Where do I go when every ānoā turns into āmaybeā
And Remy, that rambunctious, rebellious wildcard of a man, clicking with that part of her that always wanted freedom, from her own thoughts as well, freedom to be herself and not someone who she was taught to be or had to be to keep people safe, and with other minds inside her own, being herself is a helluva task. And somehow, he helps her in that. He keeps her being herself, encourages not only convenient parts of her, but all the parts.
So what do I do with this?
And it's not something she's used to, too! Being so genuinely seen, when she herself has only vague understanding of who she is? It's scary!
This sudden burst of sunlight
And me with my umbrella
Cross-indexing every weathermanās report
I was ready for the downslide
But not for spring to well up
This feeling calls for everything I canāt afford
To know
Is possible now
So of course she tries to push him away and protect herself in familiar ways - not healthy but familiar - and she tries so hard to convince herself he's going to hurt her too, like every other time. And it doesn't happen and she keeps facing the fact that maybe it is possible, what Gambit is trying to help her believe in, that maybe it actually could work. And she can't ignore her feelings for him too, and it's a new thing, a beautiful, terrifying thing.
What do I do, do I
Do
With a love that wonāt
That won't sit still?
Wonāt do what itās told
What do I do, do I
Do
With a love that wonāt sit still?
And no matter how hard she tries to push him away, they go back to each others, and he's still as obnoxious and loud and full of life and she's still drawn to him like a moth to a flame and it becomes familiar too, slowly.
Please not now
Please not
She tries to push him away again, but she can't. Literally. She can't run away from it anymore. She knows it's there and no matter how far you run, it's right inside her chest, that thief weaseling his way into her heart.
What do I do, do I do
With a love that won't sit still
With a love that won't sit still?
(can I also mention how "love that won't sit still and do what it's told" is just terribly Remy LeBeau? yeah. boy is a rebellious bouncing ball.)
Everything that I am
Everything that I am
Everything that I am
Everything that I am
And in the end, through her own reflection and through her relationship with Gambit and everyone else, she does find herself. And it's not scary anymore.