Super Ninja Kitty

robots who are more emotional than humans. their coding isn't fine-tuned enough to regulate emotions as smoothly as the average human brain, so when they feel an emotion they feel it STRONG. this leads to some...distinctive personality types

an atheist ghost. they refuse to move on to the afterlife on the grounds that the afterlife does not and should not exist

they only respond to ouija board summonings in order to lecture people for participating in non-evidence-based belief systems

exorcisms dont work cause they dont believe in them.

“yeah sure I could ‘go into the light’ as you so eloquently put it, but let’s be analytical about this. worst-case scenario, the afterlife is real and I get cast into some version of Hell for being a nonbeliever. slightly better-case scenario, it’s a reincarnation-based afterlife, which means I end up having to do the whole Existence thing all over again, which frankly seems like a huge roll of the dice. enormously risky, given the low quality of life many people experience, and that’s setting aside philosophical issues of identity, e.g. without the memories and experiences that shaped me, would I even still technically exist as a version of myself I could identify? reincarnation aside, let’s bear in mind there’s no actual evidence there’s even a so-called ‘afterlife’ waiting on the other side–for all we know, my consciousness will just dissolve into nonexistence. again, huge roll of the dice. and even in the best-case scenario? wherein I somehow pass an Arbitrary Morality Test I didn’t sign up for and get accepted into some sort of magical Heaven or whatever? well. consider it from my point of view. all of a sudden I’d be a member of a strange and unfamiliar society, subject to a completely new set of rules and regulations that I probably don’t get a say in. Is ‘Heaven’ a democracy? will I still have access to free will? will I have meaningful choices regarding lifestyle and occupation? what do the holy books say about that, huh? I could be forced to spend a literal eternity worshiping a deity who has made some extremely questionable and problematic decisions regarding the universe. I’m not signing up for that! how is that any better than my current situation? listen buddy, I spent 80 years living in a capitalist hellhole before death Itself finally freed me from all the obligations and restrictions of modern existence. I don’t work, I don’t pay rent or taxes, I just wander from place to place keeping my own schedule, doing my own thing, beholden to neither laws nor peer pressure. as purgatories go, that’s a pretty sweet deal! and what guarantee do I have that any damned afterlife is going to be more tolerable than my current not-existence, huh? none! none whatsoever. skeptic? damn right I’m skeptic! not to mention this whole Heaven-and-Hell dichotomy seems extremely manipulative if not outright abusive, as moral systems go. that’s no way to parent a species! nope. just, nope. this whole religious afterlife nonsense sounds like a whole lot of unnecessary stress and risk. I’m perfectly comfortable staying right where I am, thanks ever so, so you can tell your exorcist to write that out in latin and shove it up his ass”

“the power of christ compels ME?” bitch just because YOU choose to subscribe to a oppressively christian-centric world view doesn’t mean I have to dedicate my afterlife to following the rules of your false gods. if you’re so desperate to get smoke blown up your ass i’m happy to help you shove that thurible way on up there

You understand the spirit of this post.

hold on i need to look up what a thurible is

ok so unfortunately that’s hilarious

No fuck off. Dale gribble is a loving kind man who openly accepts his father for being gay. Dale gribble is a good man who has some crazy ideas but very few are actively harmful to others and he would never vote for trump ever. He would absolutely believe (and be correct) that trumps Fandom is a cult. Fuck this post.

The window visual did me in I’m wheezing

NO

WELP

I haven’t seen this in years and yet it is burned into my memory forever.

This is on the short list of Eternal Reblog because it’s fucking legendary.

stimming isn't enough i need to explode

sometimes, when someone does a silly joke, and i respond to it sincerely, it is because i did not get the joke, and sometimes its because i am actually doing a joke myself. i like to call this "the autist's double bluff"

New sleep style: hitting the snooze button so many times that you sleep two additional hours in ten minute intervals. I call this Horse Sleep

Worse sleep. That was meant to say worse sleep

I Am So Fucking Tired

Literally immediately after reblogging this to correct it I went "wow, it has a reblog already?" And got all the way to checking my notifs before I realized. That it was me.

Anyway horse sleep: sleep, but horse. Worse. Sleep but worse. Definitely one of the two.

no come back ma’am

*under my breath* underwater girlfriend

underwater wife

Underwater love of my underwater life

There are benefits to being a marine biologist